Sore Back and Thanksgiving
Wow, a lot of catching up to do. I record everything in my personal, physical journal..and forget about this one. Woops.
Boys: I am together with Vann and it's been about 3 weeks now. Things are going great! But there was definitely a point where I started letting my fears build up and I began to sabotage it..picking at little things and making them into a huge issue. I've come to realize I have a self-destruct mode I go into every time I get close to a guy. And I'm really glad I've come to that realization..so that things could work out for Vann and I. I'm really happy! <3 P.S. I made the decision not to kiss anyone for the rest of the year about 3 1/2 months ago...even if I had a boyfriend. And that's one big reason I respect and like Vann so much is because he is okay with that and respects my choice...which is a rare thing to come by.
Friends: I love my friends so much. Even if I don't talk to them on a regular basis...I still LOVE and care for them so much! I'm so thankful for the new kids I've met over the course of this year...they for sure brightened it up!!
Living Situation: I renewed my lease early...then came to find out that my brother had a room open for me in his townhouse...so now I'm stuck in a pickle deciding (if at all possible) between staying where I'm at or moving in with my brother. They both have their pro's and con's....I really just wish I could get that over with. Blah! I also told my mom regardless of where I end up staying..that she would have to pack up and find another place to live after Christmas. I love her so much, but I just can't afford to support myself, my mom, my dog, and 2 cats! It's just too much...and I am not gonna lie..I really liked having my place all to myself.
Spiritual: I am taking the steps I need to, to get to where I need/want to be in my life and with God. I'm so excited and thankful for the small group that I joined..it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm volunteering at the Child Crisis Center this weekend with my church..I'm really looking forward to it! Getting back to this point in my life was really difficult because for 3 years (on and off) I ignored God. And it makes me so sad to think back on the last 3 years...but I know that because of it, I will become stronger and I am stronger. I don't have much time to really get into this, as much as I would like to..so I'll have to save it for a later time.
All around, I know that I am going to have good times and bad. But I'm going to do my best to keep my head up and my heart willing. Thank you so much for everything.
Love always,
Courtzilla
Boys: I am together with Vann and it's been about 3 weeks now. Things are going great! But there was definitely a point where I started letting my fears build up and I began to sabotage it..picking at little things and making them into a huge issue. I've come to realize I have a self-destruct mode I go into every time I get close to a guy. And I'm really glad I've come to that realization..so that things could work out for Vann and I. I'm really happy! <3 P.S. I made the decision not to kiss anyone for the rest of the year about 3 1/2 months ago...even if I had a boyfriend. And that's one big reason I respect and like Vann so much is because he is okay with that and respects my choice...which is a rare thing to come by.
Friends: I love my friends so much. Even if I don't talk to them on a regular basis...I still LOVE and care for them so much! I'm so thankful for the new kids I've met over the course of this year...they for sure brightened it up!!
Living Situation: I renewed my lease early...then came to find out that my brother had a room open for me in his townhouse...so now I'm stuck in a pickle deciding (if at all possible) between staying where I'm at or moving in with my brother. They both have their pro's and con's....I really just wish I could get that over with. Blah! I also told my mom regardless of where I end up staying..that she would have to pack up and find another place to live after Christmas. I love her so much, but I just can't afford to support myself, my mom, my dog, and 2 cats! It's just too much...and I am not gonna lie..I really liked having my place all to myself.
Spiritual: I am taking the steps I need to, to get to where I need/want to be in my life and with God. I'm so excited and thankful for the small group that I joined..it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm volunteering at the Child Crisis Center this weekend with my church..I'm really looking forward to it! Getting back to this point in my life was really difficult because for 3 years (on and off) I ignored God. And it makes me so sad to think back on the last 3 years...but I know that because of it, I will become stronger and I am stronger. I don't have much time to really get into this, as much as I would like to..so I'll have to save it for a later time.
All around, I know that I am going to have good times and bad. But I'm going to do my best to keep my head up and my heart willing. Thank you so much for everything.
Love always,
Courtzilla