Reflections : Ula's Diary
The salon went well. Very well, despite the ripples of blood on one corner of the mirror.
Many people came. So many that if I had not had duty to which to attend, I would have shrunk in my skin to nothingness, to silence and nervousness.
I am taking this time to think about the last several days. I have, I think, made some new friends; or friendly acquaintances, at least. I have also, both related and unrelated, taken a new responsibility upon my shoulders. I am still deciding if this was a mistake, or no.
It is very difficult to tell.
I have been learning about the Pathi. They are interesting in their similarities; their likenesses. They are perhaps more interesting in their differences. One of them - I will need to study him in detail, to decide upon an appropriate name for within these pages - has taken a particular interest in me.
This puzzles me.
I am not so interesting, after all. It has me scrutinizing myself in these mirrors, trying to find in my many-hued reflections the Self which he says he sees. I still do not find it.
He is, nonetheless, very kind. I do not object to kindness, though it is very strange that for him it must come accompanied by kisses.
I also met the Ambassador; the Pathi Ambassador, of course. I think it possible some sort of trade arrangement might be reached. I do hope so. I liked him - he was interesting, and talking with him was a comfortable thing. I suppose that is the secret weapon of a diplomat, however. To be easy to talk to, to be easy to confide in; it is a very different tactic from the Ambassador with whom I am familiar, although he makes that possible too. Just in a different way.
I was very favourably impressed with almost everyone I met tonight. I hope that it was mutual; it would be nice to make friends. But it is ultimately not why I am here, after all, and if I am alone, well - perhaps at least I will achieve meaningful things.
I had a long talk with the Sword Made Flesh - long for me, at least. I think I made a bit of a fool of myself. I think it went well, all the same. I'm not sure. I'm not sure how I would be able to tell. He did praise me.
Silly to need other people to like one. Silly to need other people to praise one. Silly to need other people, really, at all...
Many people came. So many that if I had not had duty to which to attend, I would have shrunk in my skin to nothingness, to silence and nervousness.
I am taking this time to think about the last several days. I have, I think, made some new friends; or friendly acquaintances, at least. I have also, both related and unrelated, taken a new responsibility upon my shoulders. I am still deciding if this was a mistake, or no.
It is very difficult to tell.
I have been learning about the Pathi. They are interesting in their similarities; their likenesses. They are perhaps more interesting in their differences. One of them - I will need to study him in detail, to decide upon an appropriate name for within these pages - has taken a particular interest in me.
This puzzles me.
I am not so interesting, after all. It has me scrutinizing myself in these mirrors, trying to find in my many-hued reflections the Self which he says he sees. I still do not find it.
He is, nonetheless, very kind. I do not object to kindness, though it is very strange that for him it must come accompanied by kisses.
I also met the Ambassador; the Pathi Ambassador, of course. I think it possible some sort of trade arrangement might be reached. I do hope so. I liked him - he was interesting, and talking with him was a comfortable thing. I suppose that is the secret weapon of a diplomat, however. To be easy to talk to, to be easy to confide in; it is a very different tactic from the Ambassador with whom I am familiar, although he makes that possible too. Just in a different way.
I was very favourably impressed with almost everyone I met tonight. I hope that it was mutual; it would be nice to make friends. But it is ultimately not why I am here, after all, and if I am alone, well - perhaps at least I will achieve meaningful things.
I had a long talk with the Sword Made Flesh - long for me, at least. I think I made a bit of a fool of myself. I think it went well, all the same. I'm not sure. I'm not sure how I would be able to tell. He did praise me.
Silly to need other people to like one. Silly to need other people to praise one. Silly to need other people, really, at all...