something i wrote a long time ago
when you leave al-Qahirah i will not be here
i will not be near or far,
just away.
i am closer to away than i have ever been.
but being so far from being close to away is like watching you walk away from me for the first time.
and walking away is something you did very well
and its something i could never do
not until my heart gave up
then i did it
the same way you did
i walked away
and slept in the park that night
i threw away everything that reminded me of you
except you of course
and i let it burn
as i walked away
i thought to myself
could you relate to me
i have your hands
or so they say
we have much in common
yet so much keeps us apart
i walked away from all of this a long time ago
i walked away for good
interesting enough though
good turned out to be bad
and i catch myself thinking about what you wanted from me
and what you wanted for me
but never what i wanted for us
never what i wanted from you
i later realized on one my sleepless nights
like tonight
that there was never us
there was never you
there wasnt even ever
so i guess
the question that i am asking myself at this moment is this
can there ever be a never if you've never ever had an ever?
never?
so i can guess that its safe to that every ever and every never that we never ever had was but one thing
everything we never had
but we have a lot
many wonderful things
many things that i cherish
we had infinity
we have infinity
from this life to the next
we will always have infinity
and no one can
not one person
can ever
ever
take that away from us
never
but whenever you come back from al-Qahirah
which i hope is never
i will not be here
i will be with infinity
i wont be far
and i wont be close
i wont be either of those
ever again
never again
will i let some one take hold of me
and let them tear me apart from the inside
something that i cant even see
smell or touch
something as terrible as you
but we have oh so much in common
we have hands
you have hands
and i have hands
very similar hands
very steady hands
or so they tell me
that what you did was for me
i hope that the next thing
the next thing you do for me
is meet me in infinity
where i will be waiting for you
infinity
a place so close to being far
that being far from you makes me feel
makes me feel that we are close
so close to being
being what we were meant to be
away from each other
never close
and
never near
to what i what i walked away from that night
i will not be near or far,
just away.
i am closer to away than i have ever been.
but being so far from being close to away is like watching you walk away from me for the first time.
and walking away is something you did very well
and its something i could never do
not until my heart gave up
then i did it
the same way you did
i walked away
and slept in the park that night
i threw away everything that reminded me of you
except you of course
and i let it burn
as i walked away
i thought to myself
could you relate to me
i have your hands
or so they say
we have much in common
yet so much keeps us apart
i walked away from all of this a long time ago
i walked away for good
interesting enough though
good turned out to be bad
and i catch myself thinking about what you wanted from me
and what you wanted for me
but never what i wanted for us
never what i wanted from you
i later realized on one my sleepless nights
like tonight
that there was never us
there was never you
there wasnt even ever
so i guess
the question that i am asking myself at this moment is this
can there ever be a never if you've never ever had an ever?
never?
so i can guess that its safe to that every ever and every never that we never ever had was but one thing
everything we never had
but we have a lot
many wonderful things
many things that i cherish
we had infinity
we have infinity
from this life to the next
we will always have infinity
and no one can
not one person
can ever
ever
take that away from us
never
but whenever you come back from al-Qahirah
which i hope is never
i will not be here
i will be with infinity
i wont be far
and i wont be close
i wont be either of those
ever again
never again
will i let some one take hold of me
and let them tear me apart from the inside
something that i cant even see
smell or touch
something as terrible as you
but we have oh so much in common
we have hands
you have hands
and i have hands
very similar hands
very steady hands
or so they tell me
that what you did was for me
i hope that the next thing
the next thing you do for me
is meet me in infinity
where i will be waiting for you
infinity
a place so close to being far
that being far from you makes me feel
makes me feel that we are close
so close to being
being what we were meant to be
away from each other
never close
and
never near
to what i what i walked away from that night