Tax Time
Once a year, we all begin on an annual rite of spring. Not sacrificing a goat or a virgin to ensure a good yield for the crops, though this might not be a bad idea in today's topsy-turvy economic climate. No, it is time to do our taxes. That dreaded time when we gather all of our records and try to figure out how can I give the government less money, which is what we all dream of doing.
Usually, I wait until the very last day and gather the W-2s and 1099s and other forms of income and rare deductibles together with 20 or so paper copies of the tax forms purloined in batches of two or three from the local library. Given that I have a law degree and earned an A in Federal Income Tax law in law school, I usually feel this is the best route, since I likely know better or at least like to think I do. Of course, since I have no charitable giving or anything of a nature where I am giving to someone else, I can usually zip through in about 45 minutes, mostly looking at the tax tables and whatnot.
However, this year, I was forced to file electronically. In an attempt to place my one paper W-2 in a very safe place, I managed to make it so safe, that even I am unable to locate and properly use the W-2 in an envelope. Luckily, I had my last paycheck from my old job, my last year's W-2 and enough know how to make my own form for the electronic tax release.
So, it started simple enough, typing in names and numbers, qualifying for the free TurboTax federal and admitting it was worth $30.95 not to have to deal with HR to get another W-2 from the company I used to work for and does not exist. In fact, I was blowing through the entire form with great ease. I was even on pace to get a refund, instead of the incredible reaming I took last year. But then I realized my old job taxed me at 15% for three weeks we worked together, making the money melt out of the refund. It was like watching a perverse, electronic version of Mountainclimber. I could hear the yodeling as the money flew out of pocket and into the government's needy hands. Sadly, I ended up owing the government money, but fortunately, it was only to the federal government and the state will pay me back, since my state is still solvent, unlike the suckers who live in California.
So, I reach the end of the road and I am ready to file, when I get to the needing the either my 2007 Pin Number or my 2007 AIG, neither of which I had possession of. Luckily, with some prompting, I was given a phone number to call the IRS, who have surprisingly useful hours for a government agency. I dialed and expected a wait, you know, the ten minute wait whenever anyone makes a phone call to a gigantic entity. The music begins and the time begins to pass. Five becomes ten, ten becomes twenty, twenty becomes not quite thirty. As the classical music piece fades into a ringing phone, I reach a live person.
I forget the man's name, but he introduced himself as Mr., which was a nice change. I greeted him in a friendly manner and gave him my social security number. From there, it gets crazy. Usually you answer one question to get information, maybe two. This process had ten. Ten questions, things most people would not know, like how many deductions they took the year before. I remembered, but it was touch and go. From there, I was able to get my AIG and finish my taxes, leaving this entire sordid affair behind me for another year.
Usually, I wait until the very last day and gather the W-2s and 1099s and other forms of income and rare deductibles together with 20 or so paper copies of the tax forms purloined in batches of two or three from the local library. Given that I have a law degree and earned an A in Federal Income Tax law in law school, I usually feel this is the best route, since I likely know better or at least like to think I do. Of course, since I have no charitable giving or anything of a nature where I am giving to someone else, I can usually zip through in about 45 minutes, mostly looking at the tax tables and whatnot.
However, this year, I was forced to file electronically. In an attempt to place my one paper W-2 in a very safe place, I managed to make it so safe, that even I am unable to locate and properly use the W-2 in an envelope. Luckily, I had my last paycheck from my old job, my last year's W-2 and enough know how to make my own form for the electronic tax release.
So, it started simple enough, typing in names and numbers, qualifying for the free TurboTax federal and admitting it was worth $30.95 not to have to deal with HR to get another W-2 from the company I used to work for and does not exist. In fact, I was blowing through the entire form with great ease. I was even on pace to get a refund, instead of the incredible reaming I took last year. But then I realized my old job taxed me at 15% for three weeks we worked together, making the money melt out of the refund. It was like watching a perverse, electronic version of Mountainclimber. I could hear the yodeling as the money flew out of pocket and into the government's needy hands. Sadly, I ended up owing the government money, but fortunately, it was only to the federal government and the state will pay me back, since my state is still solvent, unlike the suckers who live in California.
So, I reach the end of the road and I am ready to file, when I get to the needing the either my 2007 Pin Number or my 2007 AIG, neither of which I had possession of. Luckily, with some prompting, I was given a phone number to call the IRS, who have surprisingly useful hours for a government agency. I dialed and expected a wait, you know, the ten minute wait whenever anyone makes a phone call to a gigantic entity. The music begins and the time begins to pass. Five becomes ten, ten becomes twenty, twenty becomes not quite thirty. As the classical music piece fades into a ringing phone, I reach a live person.
I forget the man's name, but he introduced himself as Mr., which was a nice change. I greeted him in a friendly manner and gave him my social security number. From there, it gets crazy. Usually you answer one question to get information, maybe two. This process had ten. Ten questions, things most people would not know, like how many deductions they took the year before. I remembered, but it was touch and go. From there, I was able to get my AIG and finish my taxes, leaving this entire sordid affair behind me for another year.