the red or the green door?
what a fucking day! this morning i had a job interview for a job which i know i can do, but didn't think i'd been very good at convincing the interviewers. the post was for a classroom assistant in a special needs school. i came a bit deflated, and made my poor boyfriend suffer yet again with my whining and generally being super grumpy. we took a nap, and when i woke up, i started filling out more application forms. then i got a phone call from australia. very exciting, i've got a place to do post-grad dramatherapy in perth. the only drawback is i have to start in august. august. can i seriously manage to organise my everything and get it to the other side of the world in a month? this is something i've wanted for at least two years, but not this way. it all feels too rushed, too scary, too un-stable. too expensive. how am i going to raise money for the fucking flight, let alone fees, living costs, buying books etc?and how long do visas take to sort out? i truly don't know what to do. and maybe i'm making too much of the problems, and i'm making excuses for myself so i can back out gracefully. and just to complete the head squishing, i later got another call offering me the job from the morning interview! how do i choose between two amazing opportunities? how do i know which is the right decision to make? i could do well in either one, cos i have the determination to succeed. but there's more to consider here than just me. there's time, money, and a brilliant boy who has done his very best to support and love me from the minute we met. how long can i carry on careering from one disaster to another? it's my 30th birthday on monday, and i'm off to greece on saturday to celebrate. by myself. which will give me time to think. will take a notebook so i can make lists. gotte weigh it up properly!