i'm a bad friend

[uknowwhoiam]

My mom called me tonight to ask how things were going. Usually, all she wants to know about are my grades, but then she asked me how my friends were doing. and i found it hard to answer her, b/c i really don't know. i haven't really talked with them, like really talked besides chatting between breaks or in club meetings, texting or small talk on the phone. i really don't know. and it's funny, b/c me and sweena were talking about not having enough time to hang out these past 2-3 weeks and our my friends just wanna talk and we just wanna tell them to shut up b/c we're studying. i'm so selfish! and everytime that me and my other friend have talked over these past 2-3 weeks, we always end up arguing over stupid stuff. i've never gotten so annoyed with arguing in my life. it's horrible! and mainly it's just over her repetiveness or clarifying every word she says. i mean, is that just me or does that sound annoying? or is that just my stress turning me into some monster? and as she's talking i'm saying to myself "i get it, i get it, can we hurry this along....i get it!" and i just get so annoyed and give off the rudest vibes just saying "SHUT UP". it's not like she just started doing this, it's just now it really bothers me. gosh i'm so rude. all i think about is me, me, me. i'm just sooooo focused right now that i don't want anything hindering that, but mom's right, i need a healthy life, healthy in all aspects. right now, i'm socially retarded.

hopefully i'll get to see kris this holiday, i've really been neglecting her.

school is the root of all evil!