An update
Its been a long couple of days.
Honestly I am not looking forward to coming back to Allendale. I'd rather stay here. I keep thinking of all the shit waiting for me there. Everyone here understands what I'm going through. They stood by my side while it happened and there is just this understanding. I don't want sympathy from anyone. Its hard enough without having to say I'm okay when I'm really not.
I have so much catching up to do its unbelieveable. I am probably going to be locked into my room for all eternity. I am also toying with the idea of not coming back til Thursday night that way I only have ot get through Friday and have the whole weekend. Sigh.
I wish I could hit the a pause button and let myself catch up emotionally and school wise to it all.
Today I was at the funeral parlor from 1-9. Rough times. I saw people I haven't seen since I was 3 ft high and they let me know how much bigger I was. Relatives. I swear. I can't believe how many people my grandma knew. Its crazy. If I have half the amount of people at her funeral at mine I would be a happy woman.
Tomorrow is the funeral. I am going to read during the service. I have to pronounce some impossible word. I should probably practice some more before I go to bed. I don't want to fuck it all up.
Ok I am going to bed. I will see you guys tomorrow (probably)
Honestly I am not looking forward to coming back to Allendale. I'd rather stay here. I keep thinking of all the shit waiting for me there. Everyone here understands what I'm going through. They stood by my side while it happened and there is just this understanding. I don't want sympathy from anyone. Its hard enough without having to say I'm okay when I'm really not.
I have so much catching up to do its unbelieveable. I am probably going to be locked into my room for all eternity. I am also toying with the idea of not coming back til Thursday night that way I only have ot get through Friday and have the whole weekend. Sigh.
I wish I could hit the a pause button and let myself catch up emotionally and school wise to it all.
Today I was at the funeral parlor from 1-9. Rough times. I saw people I haven't seen since I was 3 ft high and they let me know how much bigger I was. Relatives. I swear. I can't believe how many people my grandma knew. Its crazy. If I have half the amount of people at her funeral at mine I would be a happy woman.
Tomorrow is the funeral. I am going to read during the service. I have to pronounce some impossible word. I should probably practice some more before I go to bed. I don't want to fuck it all up.
Ok I am going to bed. I will see you guys tomorrow (probably)