Can't Sleep...
I'm flippin awake and it's like 3:50am all cuz I got home from work and took a nap that turned into like five hours. If it wasn't for hunger and Chico, I would probably still be asleep. Then I have so much that I want to do tomorrow. I want to pick up my check early, play tennis, spend time with Byron and Brandon, chillang with Maya and whomever else, get a manicure (that can be held off), figure out if I am going to the Coldplay concert or not, do some laundry, go to the fucking mall cuz I haven't been in so long, and I am probably missing a few other things that I wanted to do. (maybe it's was have world peace, and find some cures for stuff) I hate it when I can't sleep and I am just laying in the bed, cuz I get the thinking about stupid shit. Like I started feeling bad because I didn't call Veronica back when I got out of work, but that is cuz I don't like talking on the phone on my way home from work cuz it's distracting and I can't listen to music.
Then I start thinking about all the working out I want to start doing like riding my bike, roller-blading, exercises, and now I want to buy an "ab lounger 2". I also was thinking about all the long overdue appointments I need to make, such as a doctor, dentist,and probably a psychiatrist appointment. I have been thinking about that maybe I am going to have to get a porcelain veneer for my one tooth that didn't grow in properly (flippin dumb accident when I was a kid). Now here's the dumbest part, then I begin to think how nobody cares about me. I know that it's dumb and probably not true, but insecurities just beat out the logic part in my brain. Then I justify it all on how much attention I get. (see I am crazy) Then I think about countless other shit that I think is wrong with myself. So to stop myself from doing all of that I call myself getting on the computer.
Ooh, the other day I realized that I really want to dance, but not more than I want to sing. So, I am really going to try and sign up for some dance classes somewhere (whoever wants to join me let me know), and probably some voice lessons. Cuz I mean people may tell me that I can sing, but I still need lessons. Also, Maya and I decided today that we need new lives, so once I figure out how to obtain this new life I will be set. I think that it is gonna consist of more money, friends, and fun.
Then I start thinking about all the working out I want to start doing like riding my bike, roller-blading, exercises, and now I want to buy an "ab lounger 2". I also was thinking about all the long overdue appointments I need to make, such as a doctor, dentist,and probably a psychiatrist appointment. I have been thinking about that maybe I am going to have to get a porcelain veneer for my one tooth that didn't grow in properly (flippin dumb accident when I was a kid). Now here's the dumbest part, then I begin to think how nobody cares about me. I know that it's dumb and probably not true, but insecurities just beat out the logic part in my brain. Then I justify it all on how much attention I get. (see I am crazy) Then I think about countless other shit that I think is wrong with myself. So to stop myself from doing all of that I call myself getting on the computer.
Ooh, the other day I realized that I really want to dance, but not more than I want to sing. So, I am really going to try and sign up for some dance classes somewhere (whoever wants to join me let me know), and probably some voice lessons. Cuz I mean people may tell me that I can sing, but I still need lessons. Also, Maya and I decided today that we need new lives, so once I figure out how to obtain this new life I will be set. I think that it is gonna consist of more money, friends, and fun.