My Spiritual Progress, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love God.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Over the weekend, I have been doing much study and research especially regarding the topics of Thelema, and qabalah, not to mention my studies for the A.'.A.'.. I also have been fairly consistent with my magical practice. I must say that I feel as if I have reached a milestone in my own personal journey. During mid to late 2009, I became more than a little serious about my practices and I took for myself a magical name or motto. Usually this is done in magical groups but I felt as if I was undertaking a new beginning and I used the name to represent an understanding I had about magic and the universe at that time. I came to incorporate it into the name I use on a regular basis as my online identity. That name is Sorno. The reason I took on that name in particular is partly due to a dream I once had but mostly because I had been practicing Chaos magic, and a concept that I had discovered through my readings was "square-root of negative one", an imaginary number. SORNO is actually an acronym for that number with the first O and R transposed. To me that imaginary number represented one of the main traits of Chaos which was the ability to take ideas, fictional, mythical or historical and use them to generate magical effects. The most common example of this which I have learned much from was the H.P. Lovecraft mythos.
Since then, I have changed my practices and all though Chaos magic shall always be a part of what I do to a small degree and dear to my heart, I dare say I have moved beyond it spiritually and in practice. As I have made obvious over my last few posts, I now consider myself a Thelemite. A couple days ago I said that I also considered myself a Taoist and atheist as well. Like Chaos, Taoism will always have a place in my heart, but no… I am not a Taoist. Regarding my atheism, I just cannot deny it any longer despite my best attempts. I am not an atheist. I am simply a Thelemite through and through. Whether you call Thelema a religion or not, I do not care. Even if I call it a religion, it most certainly is not a religion resembling those of the Chrislemews. Some call it a cult, some call it a philosophy, and some call it a religion. Sure, why not.
To all my loved ones, I must address the subtitle of this post and the comment that I am not an atheist. Over a year ago, I was what would be called a soft-atheist meaning I did not believe in a creator god. However if absolute proof were to come about in which there was no other explanation, I would concede that there is a god. Well, I still am sympathetic to that stance, but I at this moment in time, will say there was a creative force like the Tao or something relative which is still present in the universe, if it isn't the universe itself. I am not advocating monotheism by simply saying "god" instead of "gods". I use the word god in a very general sense, so if you are polytheistic, please do not rush to criticize. I can even say I believe in the soul, but in the qabalistic 4 - part model and not the classic concept which I shall discuss in a later post. I am still atheistic when it concerns the god of the Chrislemews, but I am sympathetic to the same god when looked at from a qabalistic sense. That god is not a monster who kills people needlessly. That god is not a jealous god. That god does exist and does actively interact with the world and mankind. It has no choice in the matter since the universe, this world, you, me, and the ants burrowing in my front yard are a reflection of that same god. And notice I said "reflection". This does not mean that we can become "as" god and it does not mean that we "eventually become" god. It means WE ARE god, we just need to realize it. Referencing the Tree of Life,
I shall briefly quote from 'Chicken Qabalah' to help explain:
"ONE is the only real number. TWO is just a projected reflection of ONE, and THREE merely a condition of recognition that TWO is not ONE. So too, 1 - 2 - 3 is the only real Triad, the Triad of 4 - 5 - 6 is only its reflection, and the third Triad is merely the replication of the second. The area between the first Triad and the second Triad is like the impenetrable surface of a mirror. It is an inscrutable Abyss.
As I gaze in the mirror hanging in my room, I see my reflection, an unreal image of the real me in my real room. So it is with the Deity. The Supernal Triad (1 - 2 - 3) is the REAL thing existing on the REAL side of the mirror/Abyss. On the UNREAL side of the Abyss are all the unreal things (including you, me and everything we perceive in the universe). They assume a semblance of reality because they, like my reflection in the mirror, are bound by the IMAGE of the real supernal patterns and forms. Just as I give a kind of life to my reflection in the mirror, so all the manifold units of creation are vivified by the Living Light of the Supernal Triad. Indeed, that Light is our true identity.
What we think is our body, our world, our self, is only the shadowy reflection of the DIvine Being whose radiance shattered at the Abyss. We aren't even truly alive, we are just the reflection of real life. 'And created the Elohim Adam in the IMAGE of Elohim created them, male and female created they them.'"
This is not a new idea, nor only a qabalistic idea. The Hindus have the greeting of "Namaste" which can translate as "the divine in me greets the divine in you". "But wait!" I hear you say. "As a Thelemite, don't you worship or revere the gods Ra-Hoor-Khuit (Horus), Nuit, Hadit, Osiris, Isis and others?" Yes I do, but you must understand that I in no way believe these are gods in the way most people think of gods. To me, they are representations of concepts that are indeed very real. For example, when I go for a walk on a star-lit night, I see the goddess Nuit in all her splendor for she is the starry sky.
The reason I mention this is that through meditation and skrying of the the Enochian Aethyrs, I have confirmed that these realizations have indeed changed me. I have gone up a step of the ladder of spiritual progress. Don' t think I am boasting or stroking my ego though. If there were only ten steps on this ladder, I was originally on ground level and I am now only on the first rung. I still have a very long way to go, and it only gets harder from here.
In many magical groups, the practioner does not always keep the same motto as they advance in their learning. I am going to continue this practice and shall now take on a more controversial name, and one that I am sure will cause much misunderstanding. It is mentioned in Crowley's new comment on I:28 of Liber AL. This name in latin shall be "Intra Nobis Regnum Dei" or I.N.R.I. (using the I in Dei instead of the D). I.N.R.I. traditionally refers to the inscription above the head of Jesus when he was crucified which in latin read, 'Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Iudaeorum'. Translated it means, 'Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews'. The translation of my name however is "Within Ourselves is the Kingdom of God". With my new understanding that we are all the god or divinity we seek, I feel it is quite fitting. Now some believe a magical name should be kept secret. I too used to think so, now… not so much. It is not just my magical identity, it is my identity. It is who I am and I will answer to it. I will still be known to many people as Sorno, (Marcus Sorno in full) and I will acknowledge that name as well in the same way Crowley acknowledged the name Perdurabo well after he was no longer a Neophyte in the Golden Dawn. But as of today, I am Fra. (Frater meaning Brother) I.N.R.I., I am a Thelemite and yes, I do love God.
Oh… and I apologize to any Christlemews who are offended by the use of that term. It is something I picked up from Lon Milo Duquette as a term for Christian, Moselems and Jews and I just think it sounds cute. And as such, it has become a term I am fond of and fully intend to use more often in my witting and in verbal communication.
Love is the Law, Love under Will.
Fra. I.N.R.I.
☉ in 26° ♋ : ☽ in 13° ♏ : Anno IVxviii a.n.
Over the weekend, I have been doing much study and research especially regarding the topics of Thelema, and qabalah, not to mention my studies for the A.'.A.'.. I also have been fairly consistent with my magical practice. I must say that I feel as if I have reached a milestone in my own personal journey. During mid to late 2009, I became more than a little serious about my practices and I took for myself a magical name or motto. Usually this is done in magical groups but I felt as if I was undertaking a new beginning and I used the name to represent an understanding I had about magic and the universe at that time. I came to incorporate it into the name I use on a regular basis as my online identity. That name is Sorno. The reason I took on that name in particular is partly due to a dream I once had but mostly because I had been practicing Chaos magic, and a concept that I had discovered through my readings was "square-root of negative one", an imaginary number. SORNO is actually an acronym for that number with the first O and R transposed. To me that imaginary number represented one of the main traits of Chaos which was the ability to take ideas, fictional, mythical or historical and use them to generate magical effects. The most common example of this which I have learned much from was the H.P. Lovecraft mythos.
Since then, I have changed my practices and all though Chaos magic shall always be a part of what I do to a small degree and dear to my heart, I dare say I have moved beyond it spiritually and in practice. As I have made obvious over my last few posts, I now consider myself a Thelemite. A couple days ago I said that I also considered myself a Taoist and atheist as well. Like Chaos, Taoism will always have a place in my heart, but no… I am not a Taoist. Regarding my atheism, I just cannot deny it any longer despite my best attempts. I am not an atheist. I am simply a Thelemite through and through. Whether you call Thelema a religion or not, I do not care. Even if I call it a religion, it most certainly is not a religion resembling those of the Chrislemews. Some call it a cult, some call it a philosophy, and some call it a religion. Sure, why not.
To all my loved ones, I must address the subtitle of this post and the comment that I am not an atheist. Over a year ago, I was what would be called a soft-atheist meaning I did not believe in a creator god. However if absolute proof were to come about in which there was no other explanation, I would concede that there is a god. Well, I still am sympathetic to that stance, but I at this moment in time, will say there was a creative force like the Tao or something relative which is still present in the universe, if it isn't the universe itself. I am not advocating monotheism by simply saying "god" instead of "gods". I use the word god in a very general sense, so if you are polytheistic, please do not rush to criticize. I can even say I believe in the soul, but in the qabalistic 4 - part model and not the classic concept which I shall discuss in a later post. I am still atheistic when it concerns the god of the Chrislemews, but I am sympathetic to the same god when looked at from a qabalistic sense. That god is not a monster who kills people needlessly. That god is not a jealous god. That god does exist and does actively interact with the world and mankind. It has no choice in the matter since the universe, this world, you, me, and the ants burrowing in my front yard are a reflection of that same god. And notice I said "reflection". This does not mean that we can become "as" god and it does not mean that we "eventually become" god. It means WE ARE god, we just need to realize it. Referencing the Tree of Life,

I shall briefly quote from 'Chicken Qabalah' to help explain:
"ONE is the only real number. TWO is just a projected reflection of ONE, and THREE merely a condition of recognition that TWO is not ONE. So too, 1 - 2 - 3 is the only real Triad, the Triad of 4 - 5 - 6 is only its reflection, and the third Triad is merely the replication of the second. The area between the first Triad and the second Triad is like the impenetrable surface of a mirror. It is an inscrutable Abyss.
As I gaze in the mirror hanging in my room, I see my reflection, an unreal image of the real me in my real room. So it is with the Deity. The Supernal Triad (1 - 2 - 3) is the REAL thing existing on the REAL side of the mirror/Abyss. On the UNREAL side of the Abyss are all the unreal things (including you, me and everything we perceive in the universe). They assume a semblance of reality because they, like my reflection in the mirror, are bound by the IMAGE of the real supernal patterns and forms. Just as I give a kind of life to my reflection in the mirror, so all the manifold units of creation are vivified by the Living Light of the Supernal Triad. Indeed, that Light is our true identity.
What we think is our body, our world, our self, is only the shadowy reflection of the DIvine Being whose radiance shattered at the Abyss. We aren't even truly alive, we are just the reflection of real life. 'And created the Elohim Adam in the IMAGE of Elohim created them, male and female created they them.'"
This is not a new idea, nor only a qabalistic idea. The Hindus have the greeting of "Namaste" which can translate as "the divine in me greets the divine in you". "But wait!" I hear you say. "As a Thelemite, don't you worship or revere the gods Ra-Hoor-Khuit (Horus), Nuit, Hadit, Osiris, Isis and others?" Yes I do, but you must understand that I in no way believe these are gods in the way most people think of gods. To me, they are representations of concepts that are indeed very real. For example, when I go for a walk on a star-lit night, I see the goddess Nuit in all her splendor for she is the starry sky.
The reason I mention this is that through meditation and skrying of the the Enochian Aethyrs, I have confirmed that these realizations have indeed changed me. I have gone up a step of the ladder of spiritual progress. Don' t think I am boasting or stroking my ego though. If there were only ten steps on this ladder, I was originally on ground level and I am now only on the first rung. I still have a very long way to go, and it only gets harder from here.
In many magical groups, the practioner does not always keep the same motto as they advance in their learning. I am going to continue this practice and shall now take on a more controversial name, and one that I am sure will cause much misunderstanding. It is mentioned in Crowley's new comment on I:28 of Liber AL. This name in latin shall be "Intra Nobis Regnum Dei" or I.N.R.I. (using the I in Dei instead of the D). I.N.R.I. traditionally refers to the inscription above the head of Jesus when he was crucified which in latin read, 'Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Iudaeorum'. Translated it means, 'Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews'. The translation of my name however is "Within Ourselves is the Kingdom of God". With my new understanding that we are all the god or divinity we seek, I feel it is quite fitting. Now some believe a magical name should be kept secret. I too used to think so, now… not so much. It is not just my magical identity, it is my identity. It is who I am and I will answer to it. I will still be known to many people as Sorno, (Marcus Sorno in full) and I will acknowledge that name as well in the same way Crowley acknowledged the name Perdurabo well after he was no longer a Neophyte in the Golden Dawn. But as of today, I am Fra. (Frater meaning Brother) I.N.R.I., I am a Thelemite and yes, I do love God.
Oh… and I apologize to any Christlemews who are offended by the use of that term. It is something I picked up from Lon Milo Duquette as a term for Christian, Moselems and Jews and I just think it sounds cute. And as such, it has become a term I am fond of and fully intend to use more often in my witting and in verbal communication.
Love is the Law, Love under Will.
Fra. I.N.R.I.
☉ in 26° ♋ : ☽ in 13° ♏ : Anno IVxviii a.n.