A little lolitics ditty
Smuttily-sluttily
Naughty Dave Cameron
Going fap-fappity-fap
Tries to be statesmanly
God knows he'd rather be
Naked in Nicky Clegg's lap
The stories are true in the Mail and the Sun
But the boys don't have time, there's a country to run
That's why they keep going fappity-fappity
Fappity
Fappity
Fap.
Incidentally, for those who haven't studied poetic metre, this little doggerel is written in dactyls (DAH-dah-dah DAH-dah-dah), which means "fingers". You may commence smirking now.