I will disgust you with my ugly slash-fic - YESS YOOOUU!!!
Oh you guys have been making my week :) I only found this comm yesterday afternoon (at work too - FOR SHAME!) and you've already made the whole election thing bearable for me... Not only do you guys like to slash politicians in a seemingly TOTAL RANDOM fashion, you've also given me a humongous giggle, so I honestly can't thankyou enough. No seriously, you're all winning my poll - you're all so high up my poll, you're like Nelson or something.
Blimey, I could've sworn I cared about the election at the beginning... Then it started to grate on me, hearing the same old sausage night after night... But now I've just learned to LOL. Behold my fanfic of shame, for it is a gift of epic grotesque proportions: yes my friends, it's Cable/Clegg.
Before you all throw up (not over the suit!) I must express my apologies for this shameful nugget of ficcery... Something just came over me (Nick OBVIOUSLY because he teh sexiest in this elekshun) and the worst thing is: as much as I'd love to call this a parody, I'm normally a serious fic writer and was rather turned on :0 I hope the illness won't spread - just follow the cut, dudes. Bonus points for noticing Nick's 'surge' ;)
Tension
"I can't stand it! I can't stand it! I can't stand it!" the Liberal leader chanted the statement over again. It was election night and emotions were running high; they were hoping that, here in the Clegg household, there would be no clear majority for either Conservative or Labour by the end of the count. Currently at ten o'clock, they would be in for a lengthy wait. Though still, that was no excuse to deafen his poor treasurer.
"I've never seen you like this, sir," Cable challenged him. "You're manic."
"I find the tension unbearable--the will-they wont-theys, the half-arsed exit polls--British politics is a farce."
"Is there anything you can do to work that tension?" the inevitable question was asked.
"Normally I'd go running, hit the streets for a little while..." Nick pondered, hand clapped to his chin. "And well the other thing? I suppose that's private; all I'll say is that Miriam does this amazing thing with her mouth." He smiled, hazily staring into the middle distance.
"Good kisser is she, sir?"
"And then some, Vincent--she gives an amazing blowjob, would you believe," he shifted his line of focus. "I could just go for some of that now... But she's not here."
Cable raised his eyebrows. Were he more surprised at his partner's use of said sexual term, or the fact he had divulged such private information in him? The thought of which made him sweat, beads of perspiration forming in his furrowed brow. The heat was rising in this room and so was something else.
Lying back in his chair, with a juvenile grin plastered all over his face, Nick opened his weary lids to find Vince sat between his legs. He instantly leapt from his seat, as if somebody had set it alight. "What are you doing?"
"I thought maybe I could work your tension away tonight."
"I'm really not sure!" Clegg quietly yelled, if such an act could ever exist, half wanting in some way to protest, and the rest of him willingly allowing his fly to be undone. "I'm a straight man, Vince--I don't know what this would say about me."
Nick must have been the first Liberal Democrat he knew who wasn't into kinky sex with male rent-boys. Cable mentally berated himself for somehow choosing the only one. He didn't speak; he did the talking with his tongue. Wait a minute--that's how he always spoke.
"I mean, what would the voters have to say? They trusted uh--uhh--uhhh... Oh, Vince," he threw his head back against the brown leather cushion and bit his own, soft lips. "Where did you learn that?"
The senior politician refused to reply, instead opting to suck on the tempting dick before him. Nick watched the older man slurp at the weeping slit as if he was eating an ice-cream cone on a Bank Holiday (which the Liberals would obviously give us more of, were they ever to get in--because they're so good). He bucked, unable to halt his arousal, and felt more than happy to let him continue as he duly admitted defeat. He just didn't want to watch--the fact that Vince Cable was so deft at this, was something which perturbed him slightly.
"I tell you why..." he finally let up to say. "All Liberal Democrats give great head."
"But I've never given head."
"There's still time, young Nick," Vince grinned.
"Uh--uhh--hold that thought," Clegg caught something in the corner of his eye, as he surged with a scream, into his partner's mouth. He'd been watching the television with a means to taking his mind off of his friend's fellatio. And some interesting news had emerged on the election. "Vince, it looks like there's going to be a hung parliament after all!"
"There already is from where I'm sitting, sir... There already is."
Blimey, I could've sworn I cared about the election at the beginning... Then it started to grate on me, hearing the same old sausage night after night... But now I've just learned to LOL. Behold my fanfic of shame, for it is a gift of epic grotesque proportions: yes my friends, it's Cable/Clegg.
Before you all throw up (not over the suit!) I must express my apologies for this shameful nugget of ficcery... Something just came over me (Nick OBVIOUSLY because he teh sexiest in this elekshun) and the worst thing is: as much as I'd love to call this a parody, I'm normally a serious fic writer and was rather turned on :0 I hope the illness won't spread - just follow the cut, dudes. Bonus points for noticing Nick's 'surge' ;)
Tension
"I can't stand it! I can't stand it! I can't stand it!" the Liberal leader chanted the statement over again. It was election night and emotions were running high; they were hoping that, here in the Clegg household, there would be no clear majority for either Conservative or Labour by the end of the count. Currently at ten o'clock, they would be in for a lengthy wait. Though still, that was no excuse to deafen his poor treasurer.
"I've never seen you like this, sir," Cable challenged him. "You're manic."
"I find the tension unbearable--the will-they wont-theys, the half-arsed exit polls--British politics is a farce."
"Is there anything you can do to work that tension?" the inevitable question was asked.
"Normally I'd go running, hit the streets for a little while..." Nick pondered, hand clapped to his chin. "And well the other thing? I suppose that's private; all I'll say is that Miriam does this amazing thing with her mouth." He smiled, hazily staring into the middle distance.
"Good kisser is she, sir?"
"And then some, Vincent--she gives an amazing blowjob, would you believe," he shifted his line of focus. "I could just go for some of that now... But she's not here."
Cable raised his eyebrows. Were he more surprised at his partner's use of said sexual term, or the fact he had divulged such private information in him? The thought of which made him sweat, beads of perspiration forming in his furrowed brow. The heat was rising in this room and so was something else.
Lying back in his chair, with a juvenile grin plastered all over his face, Nick opened his weary lids to find Vince sat between his legs. He instantly leapt from his seat, as if somebody had set it alight. "What are you doing?"
"I thought maybe I could work your tension away tonight."
"I'm really not sure!" Clegg quietly yelled, if such an act could ever exist, half wanting in some way to protest, and the rest of him willingly allowing his fly to be undone. "I'm a straight man, Vince--I don't know what this would say about me."
Nick must have been the first Liberal Democrat he knew who wasn't into kinky sex with male rent-boys. Cable mentally berated himself for somehow choosing the only one. He didn't speak; he did the talking with his tongue. Wait a minute--that's how he always spoke.
"I mean, what would the voters have to say? They trusted uh--uhh--uhhh... Oh, Vince," he threw his head back against the brown leather cushion and bit his own, soft lips. "Where did you learn that?"
The senior politician refused to reply, instead opting to suck on the tempting dick before him. Nick watched the older man slurp at the weeping slit as if he was eating an ice-cream cone on a Bank Holiday (which the Liberals would obviously give us more of, were they ever to get in--because they're so good). He bucked, unable to halt his arousal, and felt more than happy to let him continue as he duly admitted defeat. He just didn't want to watch--the fact that Vince Cable was so deft at this, was something which perturbed him slightly.
"I tell you why..." he finally let up to say. "All Liberal Democrats give great head."
"But I've never given head."
"There's still time, young Nick," Vince grinned.
"Uh--uhh--hold that thought," Clegg caught something in the corner of his eye, as he surged with a scream, into his partner's mouth. He'd been watching the television with a means to taking his mind off of his friend's fellatio. And some interesting news had emerged on the election. "Vince, it looks like there's going to be a hung parliament after all!"
"There already is from where I'm sitting, sir... There already is."