Wanting to travel
Another (nonsexual) dream, another girl. This time Sarah who I was friends with at Edinburgh during my first couple of years. I think we both vaguely liked each other but not enough to actually do anything. In the dream she'd had a mole removed and we spent some time cuddling in an opium den-like classroom whilst some medical video was playing from a projector (she studied medicine). I forgot all this for a while, because of a later dream that had something to do with religion, but about which I remember no more, but within a few minutes of getting up, sure enough. The only surprise with these dreams is the girl. Who will be next? Or maybe they'll stop/be unremembered.
***
I'm thinking of raising the prospect of doing some travelling with Eli after I've done my thesis. I really feel like I don't know what I want out of life. I don't know what I want to do and think some perspective and different experiences would be helpful. (I also don't feel like I know myself. I come to a decision one day, then the next I reject it as either socially dangerous or as not being the right sort of thing for my personality, and when that happens I wonder who I am and feel like my personality is the tiny but otherwise undefinable thing.)
***
The Malaysian DPhil student in my lab's pregnant and just told my (and her) PI. Apparently he's concerned about what will happen and didn't congratulate her. That's no surprise given his non-reaction to the news that I was engaged.
Whenever something like that (my PI getting pissed off with someone else) happens it makes me feel a little better about my relationship with him. Those sorts of things must make me look reliable by comparison?
***
It turned out that the guy from Missouri wanted to network/recruit. After a bit of a chat with each of us (from the lab) in turn he strongly recommended that we apply to his lab for a postdoc/faculty position. It's a (logical) shame that the only people who have (practically) offered me a job unasked-for are from institution in really dud places. The other time was when a guy from Alberta offered me a studentship while I was at MIT for the IGEM jamboree.
***
I'm thinking of raising the prospect of doing some travelling with Eli after I've done my thesis. I really feel like I don't know what I want out of life. I don't know what I want to do and think some perspective and different experiences would be helpful. (I also don't feel like I know myself. I come to a decision one day, then the next I reject it as either socially dangerous or as not being the right sort of thing for my personality, and when that happens I wonder who I am and feel like my personality is the tiny but otherwise undefinable thing.)
***
The Malaysian DPhil student in my lab's pregnant and just told my (and her) PI. Apparently he's concerned about what will happen and didn't congratulate her. That's no surprise given his non-reaction to the news that I was engaged.
Whenever something like that (my PI getting pissed off with someone else) happens it makes me feel a little better about my relationship with him. Those sorts of things must make me look reliable by comparison?
***
It turned out that the guy from Missouri wanted to network/recruit. After a bit of a chat with each of us (from the lab) in turn he strongly recommended that we apply to his lab for a postdoc/faculty position. It's a (logical) shame that the only people who have (practically) offered me a job unasked-for are from institution in really dud places. The other time was when a guy from Alberta offered me a studentship while I was at MIT for the IGEM jamboree.