three of eight
Title: The One Where Everything Would Be Fine If Zach Was A Little Bit Smarter
Pairing: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Rating: Oh god, guys, I suck at ratings. There's some bad language here and no porn. I doubt there's anything you can't deal with. Although, if this turns out not to be the case, tell me and I'll warn for it.
Summary: Meet Zachary Quinto, actor and idiot.
Notes: This is the longest piece of fiction I have ever written. I sincerely doubt that it's much good, but I hope people like it anyway.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
3.
Things are better - for given values of ‘better’ - once they’re all back in LA. There’s space to breathe. Zach spends two whole days gloriously alone. His brother heads straight home, and Zach loves Joe a whole lot, but he thinks they’re both ready to just not talk for a while.
So, Zach does interviews when he has to, and goes to all the necessary events and parties, and in the time in between he does everything he can to feel normal again. He sees his friends. He has long phone conversations with his Mom. He and Chris are even sort of friends again. Superficial friends. The kind of friends who go jogging together sometimes but don’t tell each other anything.
Zach’s fine with that. Really. At least there’s been no more talk of coming out, unless you count Perez’s bullshit, which Zach doesn’t. And if he sometimes thinks he might go crazy because nothing he does can get Chris out of his head, well. Nobody else needs to know.
It’s fine. Not ideal, obviously, but he’s coping.
And then he gets a text from John that says, ‘hey hav u heard abt chris nd tht hills chick?’
Zach has not. He’s not even sure what ‘hills’ is supposed to be. One Google search later, he knows more than he ever wanted to.
Fuck.
And it’s so stupid. Zach’s never been this jealous in his whole life, not ever, and he has no right. Whatever chance he might have had with Chris - Chris, the only guy he’s wanted like this since he can’t even remember - he blew it. He has no right to be thinking what he’s thinking about this Audrina girl. None of this is any of his business.
He tells himself that all the way to the nearest gay-bar, where he drinks until everything seems softer and then lets a blond, blue-eyed younger guy take him home. The sex is good, but the feeling of satisfaction Zach derives from it doesn’t even last until the morning, when he and his hangover sneak away without leaving a note. So then he feels like even more of an asshole.
Since meaningless, drunken sex clearly isn’t working, Zach looks to other pursuits to help him be less pathetic. Yoga is relaxing but doesn’t work. Ditto running. Reading is a distraction but only for a while. He’s getting by, but he’d really like to be able to go to sleep without having to stare at the ceiling for two hours, his mind skirting around all the reasons he might have had for not kissing Chris that night in his hotel room.
He thinks he knows, really, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.
*
Then, a couple of weeks after the Meaningless Drunken Sex, he gets a call from his brother. At, like, one in the morning. If Zach had actually been in bed he’d yell. Instead, he just says, “What are you doing calling me, you weirdo?”
He can almost hear Joe rolling his eyes in response. “I’m wondering what a drunk and strangely heartbroken-sounding Chris Pine was doing calling me in the middle of the night, asking about you.”
“Asking about me?”
“That’s what I said, asshole, no need to sound like a fourteen year-old girl abou- Oh God. Oh, God, well that makes sense.”
“What makes sense?” (As previously stated, Zach is an amazing actor. He should really be able to pull off innocent and confused.)
“Oh, I think you know.” Joe sighs, heavily. “Anyway, I think you need to call him. He wasn’t exactly coherent but it seemed like he wanted to know why you don’t like him anymore? And apparently he wants to apologise for something, but I didn’t really get that part.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and Zach? You know how I feel about knowing the details of your sex life, but if you need to talk…”
Zach blinks sudden, stupid, girly tears out of his eyes and mumbles, “Thanks, Joe.”
“Don’t even mention it,” says Joe, firmly, and hangs up.
*
The next morning, Zach screws up his courage and dials Chris’ cell. He’s greeted by Chris’ oddly professional voicemail message, which throws him off, and he ends up leaving the most awkward message ever. “Um, so, apparently you called my brother last night? Uh, he said you seemed a little upset, so I guess I just wanted to, um, to check… to make sure you’re okay. It’s Zach, by the way.”
Ugh. Zach then decides to pretend that little portion of the day didn’t happen, and goes to see his agent. She’s got some scripts for him, and his contract needs to be updated, so by the time he gets out of her office it’s mid-afternoon. When he checks his cell, there’s a text message from Chris. It says, ‘hey im ok, don’t remembr calling ur bro but was pretty drunk last nite. Broke up w/ audrina. Dnt worry abt me.’
A text message. That might seem reasonable to a lot of people, but Zach knows better. Back before Zach fucked everything up, a situation like this would have been cause for, like, a fucking heart to heart. But Chris didn’t even try to call. There are no missed calls or voicemails on Zach’s cell. He checks the house-phone as soon as he gets in. Nothing. Just that stupid fucking text.
Well. That tells Zach exactly where he stands. And it’s all his fault. And, suddenly, he has an epiphany: if he wants to be worth more than a text, he’s got to put things back the way they were.
Chapter Four