Empty Cup
this is a poem i wrote a little while ago, i kept it private because it's really personal to me. I've considered not sharing it, but I don't know if i can really get over some of my feelings until i share them. I'm going to put up a spoken word version on my myspace for a couple days so you can understand the full effect. I've considered giving it at an open mic but i'm just not sure. well....enjoy
i came close to her
and she told me that i was the only one who really understands her
she told me this, mind you, as she popped pills back into her pretty little head
and said that most of her friends arent really real, that most of them are dead
i told her, "its fine because im a little dead on the inside, and i can make you feel alive if you don't mind"
she released every part of her that she had into me
and i said in my calmest voice that i think we might have a disagreement
see....all she wants is to love and be loved in return
but all i really want is to ingest her beauty, all i really want is to learn
understand why we're all here, and why this fucking world turns
find a god damn reason for the passing of the better seasons
she spent most of her childhood in hospitals while i spent mine melting popsicles
sucking freezies and hucking breezies
sandlot dreams of being more than just a preemie
because i lost faith before i even left the womb
the cord wrapped around my neck, the doctor knew that i was doomed.
i couldn't speak until the tender age of 3
and my whole life THEY said there was something wrong with me
i could never fit in, and i was always left out
and everything that i hated, was everything that THEY were all about
i left school with a minor case of depression
felt a lack of motivation, locked behind a door of mental oppression
thrown between therapists classifying mental disorders
I was just trying to release while they were building borders
i tried drugs that i thought i'd never touch,
and i've fucked girls in the heat of all the lust
and when i tried to open my mind she slammed the door shut
damn, i should have just gone with my gut
ha
and she still asks me why i can be so bitter
she says that im always throwing my two cents in
and i always start a conversation just to facilitate an end
but i did not create the world, i just spit to make it spin
and you are just a girl who decided to let me in
so.....the next time you ask me to open up,
remember that where most people have a heart,
i just have an empty cup.
i came close to her
and she told me that i was the only one who really understands her
she told me this, mind you, as she popped pills back into her pretty little head
and said that most of her friends arent really real, that most of them are dead
i told her, "its fine because im a little dead on the inside, and i can make you feel alive if you don't mind"
she released every part of her that she had into me
and i said in my calmest voice that i think we might have a disagreement
see....all she wants is to love and be loved in return
but all i really want is to ingest her beauty, all i really want is to learn
understand why we're all here, and why this fucking world turns
find a god damn reason for the passing of the better seasons
she spent most of her childhood in hospitals while i spent mine melting popsicles
sucking freezies and hucking breezies
sandlot dreams of being more than just a preemie
because i lost faith before i even left the womb
the cord wrapped around my neck, the doctor knew that i was doomed.
i couldn't speak until the tender age of 3
and my whole life THEY said there was something wrong with me
i could never fit in, and i was always left out
and everything that i hated, was everything that THEY were all about
i left school with a minor case of depression
felt a lack of motivation, locked behind a door of mental oppression
thrown between therapists classifying mental disorders
I was just trying to release while they were building borders
i tried drugs that i thought i'd never touch,
and i've fucked girls in the heat of all the lust
and when i tried to open my mind she slammed the door shut
damn, i should have just gone with my gut
ha
and she still asks me why i can be so bitter
she says that im always throwing my two cents in
and i always start a conversation just to facilitate an end
but i did not create the world, i just spit to make it spin
and you are just a girl who decided to let me in
so.....the next time you ask me to open up,
remember that where most people have a heart,
i just have an empty cup.