(no subject)
"Finally, we've come to a conclusion about you, and it's not good"
I don't really know where I got that quote, but it seemed appropriate. So, it's been some time, I've felt closer to many people in the last two weeks, and distant from others. But, all in all, I'm the same person I have always been.
"Distance makes the heart grow stronger," "time heals all wounds." --good points.
The thing is, I always tend to let things get distant from me, I don't have an explanation. Basically, what I mean is, when something really good looks like it's coming my way, I get REALLY excited and want to jump all over it and smother it, but I am afraid to, and thusly avoid any type of actions that would give my motives away. Like, take for example with girls (obvious situation, but ya know). I liked Jenn, she seemed to like me; told me to call whenever, that we should hang out, ya know, basic things like that. So, I got real excited, thought this was my break, but I was scared. I was scared that if we liked each other it might be for no reason. So, i took the let's get to know each other route. That sort of worked for a bit, until it stopped working. I guess she didn't like what she was getting to know. Either that, or I gave off some type of vibe that she thought meant I didn't like HER. Crazy shit, man.
So, here I am, still single, but not worried. I mean, sure I'd love to have some sort of companionship, but I know I have all these friends and acquaintences and family members who are here supporting and loving me, despite my confusions. That's a good feeling. But, there's another crush (THERE IS ALWAYS A CRUSH!).
She's in my class, and she has lately seemed to have been flirting with me, which is cool considering I have always thought she was really cute and sweet as hell (she always lets me use her pens, and paper, and she's always really smiley to me). But, now she has been flirting, approaching me with questions, and she works at the Pub (makes damned tasty shakes) always a sweet girl there too. And, yeah, she's really sweet to anyone she's around, but I have taken notice that she SEEMS to be extra nice to me (maybe it's because I'm a retard?? I don't know).
But, the point is, I get into these situations with people I would LOVE to get to know and possibly date, but I get caught up thinking it would turn out to be awkward, and we'd have nothing to talk about, and it would end up being completely shallow--something I really want to avoid. They always tend to be acquaintences, people I know, but I don't. It's weird. I'm not whining, I know it's pretty much my fault for not having the guchas to go in there and stir the damned waters.
Oh well. onto the good news. I AM SEEING THE MATRIX: RELOADED TONIGHT! BAM! yeah, it rules, so do I.
I'm possibly getting a car! 1988 Acura Integra RS 5-door (hatchback) for 1300$. I'm test driving it tomorrow, and then having more auto-savvy friends inspect it for me.
I'm probably going to tour the US with my best friend John this summer! that's right, I'll be doing seed inventory for Ferry-Morris seed company. man, it's cool, $8/hour, room and board (hotels/restaurants) paid for and vehicle too. I'm way excited. Ok, so I'm off. FAREWELL!
I don't really know where I got that quote, but it seemed appropriate. So, it's been some time, I've felt closer to many people in the last two weeks, and distant from others. But, all in all, I'm the same person I have always been.
"Distance makes the heart grow stronger," "time heals all wounds." --good points.
The thing is, I always tend to let things get distant from me, I don't have an explanation. Basically, what I mean is, when something really good looks like it's coming my way, I get REALLY excited and want to jump all over it and smother it, but I am afraid to, and thusly avoid any type of actions that would give my motives away. Like, take for example with girls (obvious situation, but ya know). I liked Jenn, she seemed to like me; told me to call whenever, that we should hang out, ya know, basic things like that. So, I got real excited, thought this was my break, but I was scared. I was scared that if we liked each other it might be for no reason. So, i took the let's get to know each other route. That sort of worked for a bit, until it stopped working. I guess she didn't like what she was getting to know. Either that, or I gave off some type of vibe that she thought meant I didn't like HER. Crazy shit, man.
So, here I am, still single, but not worried. I mean, sure I'd love to have some sort of companionship, but I know I have all these friends and acquaintences and family members who are here supporting and loving me, despite my confusions. That's a good feeling. But, there's another crush (THERE IS ALWAYS A CRUSH!).
She's in my class, and she has lately seemed to have been flirting with me, which is cool considering I have always thought she was really cute and sweet as hell (she always lets me use her pens, and paper, and she's always really smiley to me). But, now she has been flirting, approaching me with questions, and she works at the Pub (makes damned tasty shakes) always a sweet girl there too. And, yeah, she's really sweet to anyone she's around, but I have taken notice that she SEEMS to be extra nice to me (maybe it's because I'm a retard?? I don't know).
But, the point is, I get into these situations with people I would LOVE to get to know and possibly date, but I get caught up thinking it would turn out to be awkward, and we'd have nothing to talk about, and it would end up being completely shallow--something I really want to avoid. They always tend to be acquaintences, people I know, but I don't. It's weird. I'm not whining, I know it's pretty much my fault for not having the guchas to go in there and stir the damned waters.
Oh well. onto the good news. I AM SEEING THE MATRIX: RELOADED TONIGHT! BAM! yeah, it rules, so do I.
I'm possibly getting a car! 1988 Acura Integra RS 5-door (hatchback) for 1300$. I'm test driving it tomorrow, and then having more auto-savvy friends inspect it for me.
I'm probably going to tour the US with my best friend John this summer! that's right, I'll be doing seed inventory for Ferry-Morris seed company. man, it's cool, $8/hour, room and board (hotels/restaurants) paid for and vehicle too. I'm way excited. Ok, so I'm off. FAREWELL!