looking back
I just read through my entire journal, a little over 2 years of entries. I've realised how much that I have changed over those years. I've gone frome someone that was happy and had friends to someone that was really depressed and pushed everyone away to some on that is ready to move on. When it was really bad, I dont think that I realised how depressed I was and took my thoughts of suicide as if they were a normal part of my life. Its scary to think that I though of my life like that, that it could be thrown away so easily. I feel like I am such a different person now. Now I really dont't care about most of my relationships with people. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and would do anything for any of you, but for the relationships that have failed or are failing, I just dont care. I think that that is a really big step for me, to not have to rely so much on others for my happiness. I see a lot of things that I could have handled better, and could have done differently, but you always have 20/20 vision after the fact.