(no subject)
Hello! This is me fucking BEAMING right now! and semi freaking out....ugh why am I such a fuckin little ass girl when it comes to guys. I really am. Seriously, read my journals and its all me tripping the fuck out about boys. It really is and it's embarassing. ANYWAY
So I just had a good 40 minute conversation with Burbank about nothing and everything. and surprise surfuckinprise, I'm in love with him...AGAIN! Or STILL if you wanna get technical...Or perhaps the most accurate: I am offically off of Bubank infatuation hiatus...I took about a year off of Burbank infatuation so I could have a serious relaionship with Tom and wow, ended that relationship with a nice round of Burbank....anyhoo. I saw him this weekend and it was a different Burbank that I was used to. A Burbank all over me and not me all over a Burbank. That's a nice little change. So Monday night after work I called him to ask him if he listens to Sinatra because thats all that plays there. The way he was trying to dance with me was very Sinatra appropriate. I just called to tell him that made me think of him...then he called me the next day for really no reason. We talked a little bit before I went to work about car registration and dogs.
And then he called me today! Whats kinda weird is he called while I was at Tom's seeing Cooper, my dog. Right before I got out of my car I thought "the only person I would even care to talk to or see tonight more than likely isn't gonna call and if he does I don't wanna answer in front of tom" and what do you mother fucking know, that person called! He called because his mom got him tickets to the Scintas and she wanted him to take a girl. And he thought of meeee! But I already told him I was going out with Chelsea tomorrow night...
so then we just kept on talking for freakin 40 minutes...it always blows me away when I can talk to any guy one on one for any extended amount of time especially on the phone. Tom and I were together for over 10 months and I can't think of any good converstions we've ever had... it was the first time since the first month I met burbank, that the conversation wasn't laced with a million unknown undertones. Everything he was saying was everything he was saying not something he was getting at. Maybe not everything, of course there was still a good amount of Burbank conversation but most of it was a REAL conversation that I wasn't wondering what we were REALLY talking about... We talked about my obnoxious drunk calls...and he DID call them obnoxious. We talked about how I've been trashed and threw myself at him. He says that he can only think of one time that I was drunk and tried to rape him. Apparently I have successfully blocked them out of my memory because i can't pinpoint the other times but I know there was a good at least a handful of other times. He said I have gotten much better on controling myself and my alcohol as he has not recieved any obnoxious drunk calls from me. We talked about how I can have a two minute exchange of words with him everytime and I go home and think about it. He took that as a compliment and says he doesn't do it on purpose it just naturally happens that way.
Jesus lord...I can't get seriously involved with this guy because look: everytime I have any kind of interaction I go and livejournal about it for an hour...maybe it's different this time. I've seen him more in the past three months than I have the entire 2 years I've known him...maybe he's seeing me different these times around. Perhaps I AM different? Hmm... am I different? I'm sure I am. A year is a long time. I've been through some shit this year. I wonder what's different now. Who knows.
We have just been traveling down our paths and in the past our paths have only merely grazed each other and then took sharp lefts and rights and sparatically grazed again. Perhaps this time they are actually crossing or merging or maybe it's just another graze. Who fuckin knows.
So I just had a good 40 minute conversation with Burbank about nothing and everything. and surprise surfuckinprise, I'm in love with him...AGAIN! Or STILL if you wanna get technical...Or perhaps the most accurate: I am offically off of Bubank infatuation hiatus...I took about a year off of Burbank infatuation so I could have a serious relaionship with Tom and wow, ended that relationship with a nice round of Burbank....anyhoo. I saw him this weekend and it was a different Burbank that I was used to. A Burbank all over me and not me all over a Burbank. That's a nice little change. So Monday night after work I called him to ask him if he listens to Sinatra because thats all that plays there. The way he was trying to dance with me was very Sinatra appropriate. I just called to tell him that made me think of him...then he called me the next day for really no reason. We talked a little bit before I went to work about car registration and dogs.
And then he called me today! Whats kinda weird is he called while I was at Tom's seeing Cooper, my dog. Right before I got out of my car I thought "the only person I would even care to talk to or see tonight more than likely isn't gonna call and if he does I don't wanna answer in front of tom" and what do you mother fucking know, that person called! He called because his mom got him tickets to the Scintas and she wanted him to take a girl. And he thought of meeee! But I already told him I was going out with Chelsea tomorrow night...
so then we just kept on talking for freakin 40 minutes...it always blows me away when I can talk to any guy one on one for any extended amount of time especially on the phone. Tom and I were together for over 10 months and I can't think of any good converstions we've ever had... it was the first time since the first month I met burbank, that the conversation wasn't laced with a million unknown undertones. Everything he was saying was everything he was saying not something he was getting at. Maybe not everything, of course there was still a good amount of Burbank conversation but most of it was a REAL conversation that I wasn't wondering what we were REALLY talking about... We talked about my obnoxious drunk calls...and he DID call them obnoxious. We talked about how I've been trashed and threw myself at him. He says that he can only think of one time that I was drunk and tried to rape him. Apparently I have successfully blocked them out of my memory because i can't pinpoint the other times but I know there was a good at least a handful of other times. He said I have gotten much better on controling myself and my alcohol as he has not recieved any obnoxious drunk calls from me. We talked about how I can have a two minute exchange of words with him everytime and I go home and think about it. He took that as a compliment and says he doesn't do it on purpose it just naturally happens that way.
Jesus lord...I can't get seriously involved with this guy because look: everytime I have any kind of interaction I go and livejournal about it for an hour...maybe it's different this time. I've seen him more in the past three months than I have the entire 2 years I've known him...maybe he's seeing me different these times around. Perhaps I AM different? Hmm... am I different? I'm sure I am. A year is a long time. I've been through some shit this year. I wonder what's different now. Who knows.
We have just been traveling down our paths and in the past our paths have only merely grazed each other and then took sharp lefts and rights and sparatically grazed again. Perhaps this time they are actually crossing or merging or maybe it's just another graze. Who fuckin knows.