(no subject)
Okay I think I'm better now. I went to karaoke and had so much fun. I just need to go all the time even if I don't feel like it because I ALWAYS have a GOOOD TIME! I sang some super fun songs. Tom was there and I could feel him like not staring but glancing ALL night and I loved it. Not that I want anything to do with Tom's loser ass but it's just feels good to know that he's staring at me and I'm not having it. Especially after all the crap I went through this weekend. Oh, now that I think of it, I pretty much got dumped and rejected twice in one weekend.
Well I didn't get dumped by Chase. He's just fucking another girl and probably would still be trying to fuck me too hadn't the dumb slut told me herself they were sleeping together. Perhaps that's the everything happens for a reason thing. Because look...if Chase didn't start screwing that ugly girl we probably would have done the hibbity dibbity Friday or Saturday. Then Burbank called me Sunday and I would have felt ewie if I went and hung out with Burbank the day after I did some other dude. And I still would have gone too because I like Burbank, Chase was always Mr. Right Now. Not that I did Burbank again but I want to. Better yet, not that he wants to do me...he just wants to lay in my lap til he falls asleep while I play with his hair every other month. I think I decided I'm gonna stop being such a little kid about liking him and call him in a week or so and ask him to go to a movie with me. That's not lame is it?
I think I should feel a lot stupider around Burbank than I do. He has to know that I like him, I stuck my tongue in his ear and sucked on his neck. Yes, I was drunk but still! Fuck, no, I'm not gonna feel stupid. He's the one who invited me over. And honestly, how many platonic, heterosexual, male/female relationships are there? Nnno, better yet how many people are just friends with someone who they have slept with in the past that they call every blue moon to hang out. Seriously, what am I supposed to think? See...journals solve my problems and make me feel better. He's just sending crazy mixed signals and I have no idea what to make of them. They are so few and far between that I don't know. I'm not gonna trip about it.
I think all these events of the past days neutralized my emotions. Burbanks call neutralized my HINT of bitterness toward Chase. And Tom's drooling neutralized how crazy Burbank makes me. So now I'm at a neutral state....now Mike will call me and say something crazy and fuck my shit up. Which is fine. I'd rather Mike fuck me up where I can't do anything about it since he's 40000 miles away than stressing about stupid local boys.
Well I didn't get dumped by Chase. He's just fucking another girl and probably would still be trying to fuck me too hadn't the dumb slut told me herself they were sleeping together. Perhaps that's the everything happens for a reason thing. Because look...if Chase didn't start screwing that ugly girl we probably would have done the hibbity dibbity Friday or Saturday. Then Burbank called me Sunday and I would have felt ewie if I went and hung out with Burbank the day after I did some other dude. And I still would have gone too because I like Burbank, Chase was always Mr. Right Now. Not that I did Burbank again but I want to. Better yet, not that he wants to do me...he just wants to lay in my lap til he falls asleep while I play with his hair every other month. I think I decided I'm gonna stop being such a little kid about liking him and call him in a week or so and ask him to go to a movie with me. That's not lame is it?
I think I should feel a lot stupider around Burbank than I do. He has to know that I like him, I stuck my tongue in his ear and sucked on his neck. Yes, I was drunk but still! Fuck, no, I'm not gonna feel stupid. He's the one who invited me over. And honestly, how many platonic, heterosexual, male/female relationships are there? Nnno, better yet how many people are just friends with someone who they have slept with in the past that they call every blue moon to hang out. Seriously, what am I supposed to think? See...journals solve my problems and make me feel better. He's just sending crazy mixed signals and I have no idea what to make of them. They are so few and far between that I don't know. I'm not gonna trip about it.
I think all these events of the past days neutralized my emotions. Burbanks call neutralized my HINT of bitterness toward Chase. And Tom's drooling neutralized how crazy Burbank makes me. So now I'm at a neutral state....now Mike will call me and say something crazy and fuck my shit up. Which is fine. I'd rather Mike fuck me up where I can't do anything about it since he's 40000 miles away than stressing about stupid local boys.