OH my EFFING GOD.
What the FUCK?!? ****RANT INCOMING****
So I get a call from Joe's dad, very pleasent. He wants to talk about the wedding. He called sometime between 7 and 8 and I didn't get done with guard till later. I actually left around 8:15 so i could spend some time with my parents, and Elijah. I haven't really seen Elijah a lot in the past two days, so I wanted to spend more time with him. So before I got to my parents house I called Joe and asked him to call David (Joe's dad) about what he needed. I got a call shortly after I left my parents -- around 9:15 from Joe. He had his dad and step mom on the line. Joe says they want to know how many people will be in from out of town on Friday night..
Honestly, no freaking answer to that. They have agreed to set up the rehearsal dinner and that has been set all along, but it was to be direct family (grandparents, parents, brothers and sisters) and attendants with their significant others. We did it this way because A. they are on a budget, B. we don't know when people are going to be arriving because most people will be able to come in the day of and make it on time, and C. if we invite all out of town guests the rehearsal dinner will be almost 100 people... not kidding here. That was the deal set TWO MONTHS ago, so I kinda start to get a little frustrated that I am explaining this again.
I hang up with Joe and I call David and Patty(stepmom) directly. Joe doesn't know too much about the arrangements because he works so much, he hasn't had a lot of time lately to be involved in it, and you can hear him getting frustrated with the same questions. Patty starts laying into me... how I am being rude, and its inappropriate, and on and on. Look, my family know its a budget thing, they understand. I don't think anyone will find it rude, or tacky... they will be enjoying themselves. David starts to get worked up, because Patty is now getting loud and yelling, and she has stopped listening. She is asking the same question over and over. Well, he starts to get loud with me, and in the background she starts blaming this shit on me. She asks why I can't call. LET ME TELL YOU WHY I CAN'T CALL YOU IDIOT. Monday through Friday I am at school or working with the band from 11A-9P. I get to spend one hour at home everyday, and I take that time to just sit with Elijah, eat a snack, and watch a TV show together (I think its usually some show about savannah animals). That is our time together. I get one hour of it a day. When I get home from band/school I put Elijah to bed, spend an hour relaxing usually catching up on the news, and then I start school work. I fall asleep IN my school work around 2 AM... then I start it all over again. Saturday and Sunday, I get reprieve but its just me and Elijah, so I take care of groceries, or other errands throughout the week I have neglected. Yes I could call then, but honestly, I had all this shit resolved by the beginning of August so I could use my weekends to myself. Not to spend time dealing with this.
She keeps going on, progressively yelling more and more, and not listening. She starts saying how RUDE we are being, and how INAPPROPRIATE we are. *eye rolls* I finally stop her and say listen, all of this was handled over a month ago for a reason, and I don't have time to deal with this. She says something about not being involved in any of that stuff, and I just broke and I said "THIS IS THE REASON YOU WEREN'T INVOLVED." She starts going off, and finally says "YOU PULLED ME OUT OF MY MOTHER'S WAKE AND I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT."
Now let me take a side moment here. I had not attended the funeral because I cannot handle them. I am an atheist, and honestly the end of a life is very hard for me. Because to me, there isn't anything after that. When Joe's maternal grandmother died I went to the internment. I wept like a baby. I had never met the woman and I cried worse than Joe. So I didn't attend Patty's wake, and when Joe came to pick me up he asked Patty to come talk to me because I was very upset with the way she treated me and called me a whore. I did not ASK for Patty to come away. I actually told Joe I wouldn't do it then because she needed to deal with the family stuff. I even said that to her, but she and he agreed we should talk.
I was boiling at this point, and my whole body is shaking, and I am trying to drive, but it is just not working. I was at a stop light when she said that and thank goodness. I just screamed "YOU CALLED ME A WHORE AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT." I took a breath and said to David, "I am sorry. I thank you for the attempt you made, but I don't want your help anymore. I didn't want this to happen, and I am sorry it did, but I just can't handle this anymore." I am sure he tried to reply something about taking a breath, but I was about to cry and I wasn't going to let them hear that. I just yelled I didn't want the help anymore, and I hung up. I started shaking and crying, and I am so frustrated.
Why was this call even made to begin with in the first place?!?! All the actual information discussed was already discussed over 2 months ago!?!??! I sent him a calm email after I got home explaining everything that SHOULD have been discussed in the phone call, and advising that between me and him this was already resolved a month ago. I told him how he could get in touch with me, and how I can understand if he doesn't want to continue doing this, but in the case he continues to, I will not be speaking to her at all.
I am so upset, and I am so frustrated. I had intended to come home and do more schoolwork, and try to find a baker. But now I am ranting on because I just can't fathom why someone would start this shit up, when A. they were asked not to be involved in conversations... and have still inserted themselves and B. HAD ALL THE INFORMATION THEY WERE SO ANGRY THEY WEREN'T GETTING ANSWERS TO! Right now, Joe may not have any parents attending his wedding. I hate that. because of his stupid stepmother and his fucking jerk of a stepfather.
DAMNIT! I wish I had something more positive to post about. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
So I get a call from Joe's dad, very pleasent. He wants to talk about the wedding. He called sometime between 7 and 8 and I didn't get done with guard till later. I actually left around 8:15 so i could spend some time with my parents, and Elijah. I haven't really seen Elijah a lot in the past two days, so I wanted to spend more time with him. So before I got to my parents house I called Joe and asked him to call David (Joe's dad) about what he needed. I got a call shortly after I left my parents -- around 9:15 from Joe. He had his dad and step mom on the line. Joe says they want to know how many people will be in from out of town on Friday night..
Honestly, no freaking answer to that. They have agreed to set up the rehearsal dinner and that has been set all along, but it was to be direct family (grandparents, parents, brothers and sisters) and attendants with their significant others. We did it this way because A. they are on a budget, B. we don't know when people are going to be arriving because most people will be able to come in the day of and make it on time, and C. if we invite all out of town guests the rehearsal dinner will be almost 100 people... not kidding here. That was the deal set TWO MONTHS ago, so I kinda start to get a little frustrated that I am explaining this again.
I hang up with Joe and I call David and Patty(stepmom) directly. Joe doesn't know too much about the arrangements because he works so much, he hasn't had a lot of time lately to be involved in it, and you can hear him getting frustrated with the same questions. Patty starts laying into me... how I am being rude, and its inappropriate, and on and on. Look, my family know its a budget thing, they understand. I don't think anyone will find it rude, or tacky... they will be enjoying themselves. David starts to get worked up, because Patty is now getting loud and yelling, and she has stopped listening. She is asking the same question over and over. Well, he starts to get loud with me, and in the background she starts blaming this shit on me. She asks why I can't call. LET ME TELL YOU WHY I CAN'T CALL YOU IDIOT. Monday through Friday I am at school or working with the band from 11A-9P. I get to spend one hour at home everyday, and I take that time to just sit with Elijah, eat a snack, and watch a TV show together (I think its usually some show about savannah animals). That is our time together. I get one hour of it a day. When I get home from band/school I put Elijah to bed, spend an hour relaxing usually catching up on the news, and then I start school work. I fall asleep IN my school work around 2 AM... then I start it all over again. Saturday and Sunday, I get reprieve but its just me and Elijah, so I take care of groceries, or other errands throughout the week I have neglected. Yes I could call then, but honestly, I had all this shit resolved by the beginning of August so I could use my weekends to myself. Not to spend time dealing with this.
She keeps going on, progressively yelling more and more, and not listening. She starts saying how RUDE we are being, and how INAPPROPRIATE we are. *eye rolls* I finally stop her and say listen, all of this was handled over a month ago for a reason, and I don't have time to deal with this. She says something about not being involved in any of that stuff, and I just broke and I said "THIS IS THE REASON YOU WEREN'T INVOLVED." She starts going off, and finally says "YOU PULLED ME OUT OF MY MOTHER'S WAKE AND I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT."
Now let me take a side moment here. I had not attended the funeral because I cannot handle them. I am an atheist, and honestly the end of a life is very hard for me. Because to me, there isn't anything after that. When Joe's maternal grandmother died I went to the internment. I wept like a baby. I had never met the woman and I cried worse than Joe. So I didn't attend Patty's wake, and when Joe came to pick me up he asked Patty to come talk to me because I was very upset with the way she treated me and called me a whore. I did not ASK for Patty to come away. I actually told Joe I wouldn't do it then because she needed to deal with the family stuff. I even said that to her, but she and he agreed we should talk.
I was boiling at this point, and my whole body is shaking, and I am trying to drive, but it is just not working. I was at a stop light when she said that and thank goodness. I just screamed "YOU CALLED ME A WHORE AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT." I took a breath and said to David, "I am sorry. I thank you for the attempt you made, but I don't want your help anymore. I didn't want this to happen, and I am sorry it did, but I just can't handle this anymore." I am sure he tried to reply something about taking a breath, but I was about to cry and I wasn't going to let them hear that. I just yelled I didn't want the help anymore, and I hung up. I started shaking and crying, and I am so frustrated.
Why was this call even made to begin with in the first place?!?! All the actual information discussed was already discussed over 2 months ago!?!??! I sent him a calm email after I got home explaining everything that SHOULD have been discussed in the phone call, and advising that between me and him this was already resolved a month ago. I told him how he could get in touch with me, and how I can understand if he doesn't want to continue doing this, but in the case he continues to, I will not be speaking to her at all.
I am so upset, and I am so frustrated. I had intended to come home and do more schoolwork, and try to find a baker. But now I am ranting on because I just can't fathom why someone would start this shit up, when A. they were asked not to be involved in conversations... and have still inserted themselves and B. HAD ALL THE INFORMATION THEY WERE SO ANGRY THEY WEREN'T GETTING ANSWERS TO! Right now, Joe may not have any parents attending his wedding. I hate that. because of his stupid stepmother and his fucking jerk of a stepfather.
DAMNIT! I wish I had something more positive to post about. Maybe tomorrow will be better.