a long time
it's been so long. i haven't written since november. lots of things have changed.
i actually have a job. and it's delivering mail in drexel hill, and okay it may only be my second day really being outside and delivering but still. it's kinda crazy, i like it, i just want to be real good at it. today i messed up a little and i almost started crying hahaha. ugh. and i really hate people who have mail slots, or no mailbox at all, and people who don't have an address on their house. i just want to rocket launch them. but other than that i like it. and im looking forward to spring and summer and fall. winter and snow aren't my favorite. but i guess its alright.
my parents decided that i should get a new car because the other one we had was a piece. so i got a new car and i mean that was cool because that's never happened before. all through high school and college and even for a year and a half after college i never had a car and now i do. its kinda weird, but i am thankful because getting around in something reliable is comforting and being able to visit and drive places is just reaaaaal great.
i got a new tattoo with carrie and my friend erin, who i met in new orleans but she is from lancaster, and it was a really great day when we got them. it was funny and carrie got this sweet ass tattoo on her side, it took a while and it prolly hurt her real bad, but it was sweet. and erin got a russian word on her foot, and i got the love sign on my forearm. i like it.
another new thing since getting back from new orleans is nicole. i prolly wrote about her before but i'm sure not in much detail because that was at the very beginning. i never expected to meet anyone when i got home, i was just planning on being alone and finding a job and hang out with all of my random friends in the area and just try to get used to being back at home. but clearly my plans didn't matter in the large scheme of things because somewhere in the universe someone had different plans. and nicole just appeared one day when i was least expecting it. since i met her things have been so great. she always makes me happy and listens when i have ridiculous things to say about thoughts i have no control over..like life and death, and getting older, and global warming. she is so supportive and continues to make me laugh everyday. we argue sometimes but so far its only been about dumb things and after a couple of mins i don't remember what we were arguing about. i want to do everything with her and her mom is really amazing too. everytime i go to visit her house in new jersey i feel welcome and loved and her dog, oakley, is the most kick ass dog i've ever seen. i just hope things always keep going well. right now i'm just loving every minute of it. im just thankful, everyday.
yesterday i was over jaime, sarah and ashley's apt in philly with nicole and some other people and we were all hanging out eating this sweet ass lasagna that jaime made. and jaime said something about new orleans..something like "how come when you were in new orleans you were like whatever and you wanted to leave and now when anyone mentions anything about it you get all excited about it?" (not a direct quote, but something along those lines) and i just thought about it..and she is right. i agree. but the thing is...when i was there it was really hard and exhausting and there was so much bullshit and there was a lot i was missing at home and and i need space from all of it. i don't know how to explain it but just being there makes you feel a certain way. seeing destruction everyday all the time kinda brings you down..and no that shouldn't be an excuse and i'm lucky because i could leave there and lots of people live there and cant leave, but seeing those houses, and the trash everywhere, and all of the homeless, and everyone struggling, and 6 people families living in fema trailers..its kind of a big downer. but at the same time there was hope, and tons of people helping each other and love everywhere. i told you..i just can't explain it. but the thing is..i needed space and time from all of it to actually see that. i miss so many things now. and i did at times take my ten months down there for granted..but doesn't that usually happen when we are somewhere. i miss the kids that used to throw pencils at me when i tried to teach them, i miss the annoying kids, the cute kids, the smart kids, the bitchy kids and all of the kids in between because i love the shit out of them and i taught them how to do math, and how to be creative and how to believe in themselves. i miss grandma and her kids, i miss the random neighbors, and hector who was prolly a dealer, and tommie, and uncle jessie, and ronald, and every other person in that neighborhood. i could go on and on about the things i miss. but i love being home too. i just wish i could bring both of those worlds together i suppose. so if you bring up new orleans and i get excited or get a sad face on..i prolly miss it and wish i could be there but you're right..when i was there i did want to come home. and i got what i wished for.
i'ma go play with my girlfriend now. i hope everyone is doing well.
dan, i just want to see you soon. i want to come eat dinner tomorrow night and i want you to be my server, okay? i love you.
i actually have a job. and it's delivering mail in drexel hill, and okay it may only be my second day really being outside and delivering but still. it's kinda crazy, i like it, i just want to be real good at it. today i messed up a little and i almost started crying hahaha. ugh. and i really hate people who have mail slots, or no mailbox at all, and people who don't have an address on their house. i just want to rocket launch them. but other than that i like it. and im looking forward to spring and summer and fall. winter and snow aren't my favorite. but i guess its alright.
my parents decided that i should get a new car because the other one we had was a piece. so i got a new car and i mean that was cool because that's never happened before. all through high school and college and even for a year and a half after college i never had a car and now i do. its kinda weird, but i am thankful because getting around in something reliable is comforting and being able to visit and drive places is just reaaaaal great.
i got a new tattoo with carrie and my friend erin, who i met in new orleans but she is from lancaster, and it was a really great day when we got them. it was funny and carrie got this sweet ass tattoo on her side, it took a while and it prolly hurt her real bad, but it was sweet. and erin got a russian word on her foot, and i got the love sign on my forearm. i like it.
another new thing since getting back from new orleans is nicole. i prolly wrote about her before but i'm sure not in much detail because that was at the very beginning. i never expected to meet anyone when i got home, i was just planning on being alone and finding a job and hang out with all of my random friends in the area and just try to get used to being back at home. but clearly my plans didn't matter in the large scheme of things because somewhere in the universe someone had different plans. and nicole just appeared one day when i was least expecting it. since i met her things have been so great. she always makes me happy and listens when i have ridiculous things to say about thoughts i have no control over..like life and death, and getting older, and global warming. she is so supportive and continues to make me laugh everyday. we argue sometimes but so far its only been about dumb things and after a couple of mins i don't remember what we were arguing about. i want to do everything with her and her mom is really amazing too. everytime i go to visit her house in new jersey i feel welcome and loved and her dog, oakley, is the most kick ass dog i've ever seen. i just hope things always keep going well. right now i'm just loving every minute of it. im just thankful, everyday.
yesterday i was over jaime, sarah and ashley's apt in philly with nicole and some other people and we were all hanging out eating this sweet ass lasagna that jaime made. and jaime said something about new orleans..something like "how come when you were in new orleans you were like whatever and you wanted to leave and now when anyone mentions anything about it you get all excited about it?" (not a direct quote, but something along those lines) and i just thought about it..and she is right. i agree. but the thing is...when i was there it was really hard and exhausting and there was so much bullshit and there was a lot i was missing at home and and i need space from all of it. i don't know how to explain it but just being there makes you feel a certain way. seeing destruction everyday all the time kinda brings you down..and no that shouldn't be an excuse and i'm lucky because i could leave there and lots of people live there and cant leave, but seeing those houses, and the trash everywhere, and all of the homeless, and everyone struggling, and 6 people families living in fema trailers..its kind of a big downer. but at the same time there was hope, and tons of people helping each other and love everywhere. i told you..i just can't explain it. but the thing is..i needed space and time from all of it to actually see that. i miss so many things now. and i did at times take my ten months down there for granted..but doesn't that usually happen when we are somewhere. i miss the kids that used to throw pencils at me when i tried to teach them, i miss the annoying kids, the cute kids, the smart kids, the bitchy kids and all of the kids in between because i love the shit out of them and i taught them how to do math, and how to be creative and how to believe in themselves. i miss grandma and her kids, i miss the random neighbors, and hector who was prolly a dealer, and tommie, and uncle jessie, and ronald, and every other person in that neighborhood. i could go on and on about the things i miss. but i love being home too. i just wish i could bring both of those worlds together i suppose. so if you bring up new orleans and i get excited or get a sad face on..i prolly miss it and wish i could be there but you're right..when i was there i did want to come home. and i got what i wished for.
i'ma go play with my girlfriend now. i hope everyone is doing well.
dan, i just want to see you soon. i want to come eat dinner tomorrow night and i want you to be my server, okay? i love you.