torn & broken... kids... life & love... and making decisions
random thoughts from the day...
being torn apart by changes in ones life can really break a friendship apart. 2 friends for 10 years are going differnet directions in their lives. i don't know if they will remain or go their own ways but i know that they both have been good guys to me. i hate to see them end b/c theres so much history. when things like this happen if truly want to remain friends then u have to accept or deal with the others changes if one chooses to smoke or drink then the other must just either deal with that or make a compromise or walk and if the other chooses not to smoke or drink then the one who does can compromise like not drink in front of the other.... don't get wrong i'm not saying these are things that they have to do i'm just saying that this is something that can be done but if the differences are to far gone then i guess that the friendship is over.
ok on to other things... i have found some really good friends... danielle, dj, carl, tucker, leigha, becky, ryan, and david when we can get along and then of coarse chris is still with me. everybody has their place in the group and their own thing that they do. some of us have a child and some don't. all of us that do have a boy. i have ben, carl has christopher, david has hunter, becky has alex, danielle has gabe. its nice having friends that have kids.
i wonder if i'll ever find the love of my life, i have only ever loved one. for all the relationships i have had, one was a diamond compared to the rest that were like chocolate. for a woman in love wants diamonds but a woman in lust wants chocolate. i have only wanted a diamond from one man. and i don't know if i'll have that feeling with him again but i know that no matter where he and i are he will always be a wonderful father. he loves his son and don't nor will i ever doubt that. i feel so alone some days, but then i see my benjamin and i know that i'm not for his love is unconditional. i wouldn't trade him for anything in this world for he is my world. i would love to have the fairytale life but its not going to happen, every girl wants to live happily ever after but i just want to live.
and then there is making the decision of staying in macon or moving to florida. its a big decision and so i'm having to weigh my options and all of that good stuff.
well now that i've gotten out my thoughts for the day i'm gonna go to sleep since ben is such an early riser.
being torn apart by changes in ones life can really break a friendship apart. 2 friends for 10 years are going differnet directions in their lives. i don't know if they will remain or go their own ways but i know that they both have been good guys to me. i hate to see them end b/c theres so much history. when things like this happen if truly want to remain friends then u have to accept or deal with the others changes if one chooses to smoke or drink then the other must just either deal with that or make a compromise or walk and if the other chooses not to smoke or drink then the one who does can compromise like not drink in front of the other.... don't get wrong i'm not saying these are things that they have to do i'm just saying that this is something that can be done but if the differences are to far gone then i guess that the friendship is over.
ok on to other things... i have found some really good friends... danielle, dj, carl, tucker, leigha, becky, ryan, and david when we can get along and then of coarse chris is still with me. everybody has their place in the group and their own thing that they do. some of us have a child and some don't. all of us that do have a boy. i have ben, carl has christopher, david has hunter, becky has alex, danielle has gabe. its nice having friends that have kids.
i wonder if i'll ever find the love of my life, i have only ever loved one. for all the relationships i have had, one was a diamond compared to the rest that were like chocolate. for a woman in love wants diamonds but a woman in lust wants chocolate. i have only wanted a diamond from one man. and i don't know if i'll have that feeling with him again but i know that no matter where he and i are he will always be a wonderful father. he loves his son and don't nor will i ever doubt that. i feel so alone some days, but then i see my benjamin and i know that i'm not for his love is unconditional. i wouldn't trade him for anything in this world for he is my world. i would love to have the fairytale life but its not going to happen, every girl wants to live happily ever after but i just want to live.
and then there is making the decision of staying in macon or moving to florida. its a big decision and so i'm having to weigh my options and all of that good stuff.
well now that i've gotten out my thoughts for the day i'm gonna go to sleep since ben is such an early riser.