Almost Day #2 of the MC
Well I'm pleased to announce my completion of my second day on the MC (aka Master Cleanse). While I didn't follow the directions "by the book" today, I hope to get back on course with just a few corrections.
Here is a "by the book" description for one normal day:
1) When you awake, you mix 1 quart of water, 2 teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt together, and drink the whole thing all at once, on an empty stomach. Drink extra water at that time if desired.
2) Give yourself about an hour, or less depending on your body, and you should experience something which can only be described as "butt-pee". Obviously as you start, you'll get a little more substance, but ultimately, this is what you are going for: a clear, slightly tainted liquid. It means you are clear--literally.
3) Mix together 6-12 glasses of the lemonade mix, which consists of 2 tablespoons of lemon (or lime) freshly squeezed, 2 tablespoons of organic grade 2 maple syrup, 1/10 teaspoon of cayenne pepper, and (roughly) 8 ounces of filtered or distilled water.
4) Drink as much filtered / distilled water as you like during the day. Obviously, more is better; just drink the other mix to make sure you don't rid yourself of electrolytes.
5) End the day with some mild form of laxative to help encourage things during the night, so by morning you are "good to go". Again, see ultimate goal from #2.
6) In the AM repeat steps 1-5. Complete this for a minimum of 10 days. More days are optional, depending on personal goals, etc.
Now that you know how it should have gone, let me tell you how it went. ;)
Friday night--the day before day one--I completed my evening with black licorice tea. This tea is supposed to act as a laxative. I'm wondering about this now, since it didn't do that at all. Rather, nothing happened at all!
Flash forward to the morning. I mix up my ratio of sea salt and water, and chug the whole thing. I tried staying neutral on this, since I didn't find it offensive, yet it did take a little effort to get the whole damned thing down.
Afterwards, I head right to work on my Saturday schedule. Ok, there were strange noises, but I was anticipating some sort of signal from my body letting me know--Ok--time to hit the can.
I never got that signal. Quite the contrary, I sat there rather uncomfortably for several hours without much response from my body aside from general gurglings.
I sought backup help from curezone.com and quickly received a reply from several helpful people. They wanted to verify the Trader Joe's sea salt was white or not--I confirmed it was. They indicate that is the salt is white, it is iodized--something we don't want for the saltwater flush (aka SWF). Yet looking at the bottle with more detail, I didn't see iodine listed in the ingredients. Perhaps it's an OK brand of salt to use for the SWF--maybe not.
Well after some conflicting info (from Lewis and Bill) I've just opted not to do the SWF on day number two until I get a little more conclusive information. But alas I've forgotten about the cayenne.
Friday night in preparation for my adventure, I prepared a one gallon mix. Do the math at home with me. :)
1 gallon = 128 ounces. Each glass is supposed to be 10 ounces, so 1 gallon ~=~ 13 glasses.
1/2 lemon (or lime) is equal to 2 glasses worth of juice. Taking 7 lemons, juicing them all, I've created all the necessary juice needed for 1 gallon.
Since 2 tablespoons of liquid is equal to 1 ounce, I rounded up and used one cup for a 7/8 cups serving of the maple syrup. They recommended doing more syrup than less, especially in the beginning to stave off the hunger pangs.
Lastly, I thought: 1/10 teaspoons * 13 servings of cayenne should be about 1.33 teaspoons of cayenne pepper. I'll just go ahead and add the proper proportions...
Bad idea.
While the juice and maple syrup are amazingly good at keeping off the hunger, I absolutely can't stand the pepper. Yes it is intended to help break down things in the lower half of the body, but I just can't handle the pepper while trying to drink a glass of liquid. I don't mind the taste inherently; drinking it so it hits my throat tho? No way man.
People at curezone.com have recommended buying your own gel caps, putting the pepper in there, and taking them as appropriate. This idea I can handle--I just gotta find empty gel caps, a task I will under take tomorrow.
Since I didn't prepare anymore liquid before I went to work today, I've virtually drank water, and what few sips of the cayenne infested drink as I could. Water has been my staple for all of today thus far.
Did I mention that work, in honor of high VPs and client visiting, has purchased like 24 pizzas for the site? Ok, so talk about will power here--I've successfully avoided all of that pizza today.
But it gets better. At about 7PM tonight I noticed there was quite a bit left. I checked with Security to see if I could take some out if no one else minded. He agreed that it would be a waste to let--literally--a dozen or so pizzas go to waste tonight if no one eats them or takes them home. He essentially let me take some pizzas home, so I grabbed one hawaiian, one pepperoni, and one cheese. They had others--supreme style with a bunch of stuffs, some with various veggie and sausage, and I'm sure remnants of pepperoni here and there.
Welp, I openly took 3 out, after verifying with Security, and threw them in my car. I called up Lewis and Bill and let them know that I'm bringing home 3 medium pizzas. They were quite amused actually.
So picture this: I'm on day 2 of the MC; I've nursed what little of my drink of cayenne pepper, maple syrup, and lemon juice as I can; the rest of the time I've guzzled water. Enter into the picture 24 medium sized pizzas from Domino's, catered food for the clients, and general temptations to just go buy something from the machines, yet I've avoided them all. Did I mention me watching Simpsons for a small break and watching like 5 pizza commercials, several Arby's commercials and lots of general food commercials?? OMG my mouth was watering. ;)
I've even gone to lengths to take 3 pizzas outta here for the sake of Bill and Lewis, and I'm still unscathed from the ravages of hunger. Rar!
Damn. I just hope the next 8 days aren't like this. ;)
Well anyhow, those are my mild ordeals of day 1 and 2. I've been a good boy despite all the temptations. Oh, which reminds me of yet another disaster waiting to happen: The movie theatre!
Lewis "decided" last night that we need a date--just the two of us--since just a few days earlier I complained about not being able to go out to the theatres for reasons of money, and of time/company i.e. Bill, other visitors, etc.
So we went to see Haunted Mansion, the Disney produced flick which starred Eddie Murphy. The thought of movie theatres with wafts of popcorn, boxes of candy abound, huge drinks of soda, lots of ice cream varieties were all a temptation in and of itself too.
Normally, me and Lewis run to Wal-Mart, grab a few bags of candy there, and sneak them in using his backpack. As a former-employee of the movie theatre industry, he is aware that they have no right to search your backpack; if they see you with something, I suppose they can get upset. So while I've been nervous about putting candy, drinks and various snacks in a backpack and hauling it in guilty-as-sin, I've gotten over it for the most part.
"...and various snacks..." --That reminds me of the time we snuck in McDonalds with Steve and Lewis. We met up to go to the theatre, but had to do a McD's run beforehand due to hunger. At one point it was just decided to bring it all in, since the movie started soon. LOL, now THAT was funny. Imagine us just unwrapping our Big 'n Tastys, our Double Cheeseburgers, and just gorging ourselves in the middle of Century Theatre. I'm quite certain we got a look or two, but that only spurred me on even more. I just thought--yeah, for 2 bucks you idiots bought the smallest version of milk-duds on this planet. For 2 bucks, I got a 2 Doublecheese burgers! Ha! WhatdoyathinkofTHEMhamburgers?!
LOL, well anyhow; I digress (not a difficult thing tonight, apparently). The movie was quite amusing actually. I found it funny how Lewis jumped a few times from various things in the movie. From the get-go I was determined this to be a humorous movie, not a scary one. I mean, the opening words of the movie are: Welcome Foolish Mortals. Oh that's it I said: This is gonna be damned funny--screw the scary bit they so trying so hard to do. Bah.
Yeah so there you go; I wouldn't normally go spend full price on a movie like that, but I was still amused nevertheless. Definately a good matinee movie tho. Perhaps a date sorta movie since it got sappy at the end. Hmm.
Well so anyhow; there you have a quick summary. Most of those who read this and know me IRL, be weary. Christmas gifts are being purchased as we speak. Thus far, I'm amused with what I've gotten. Still have a few more people to do, most notably my Mom and Dad, Aunt Karen, Cindy & Colin and Vickie & Brian. The rest are pretty much accounted for, or some sort of plan is already in action. Do I cackle here, or wait a bit?
*waits*
*cackles!* =)
Anyhow, just kidding.
I guess that's about it for now. Good lord what a long post. Guess the guy at Random Reviews was right. Oh well; fuck him and the horse he rode in on. :)
Talk to you all later.
Here is a "by the book" description for one normal day:
1) When you awake, you mix 1 quart of water, 2 teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt together, and drink the whole thing all at once, on an empty stomach. Drink extra water at that time if desired.
2) Give yourself about an hour, or less depending on your body, and you should experience something which can only be described as "butt-pee". Obviously as you start, you'll get a little more substance, but ultimately, this is what you are going for: a clear, slightly tainted liquid. It means you are clear--literally.
3) Mix together 6-12 glasses of the lemonade mix, which consists of 2 tablespoons of lemon (or lime) freshly squeezed, 2 tablespoons of organic grade 2 maple syrup, 1/10 teaspoon of cayenne pepper, and (roughly) 8 ounces of filtered or distilled water.
4) Drink as much filtered / distilled water as you like during the day. Obviously, more is better; just drink the other mix to make sure you don't rid yourself of electrolytes.
5) End the day with some mild form of laxative to help encourage things during the night, so by morning you are "good to go". Again, see ultimate goal from #2.
6) In the AM repeat steps 1-5. Complete this for a minimum of 10 days. More days are optional, depending on personal goals, etc.
Now that you know how it should have gone, let me tell you how it went. ;)
Friday night--the day before day one--I completed my evening with black licorice tea. This tea is supposed to act as a laxative. I'm wondering about this now, since it didn't do that at all. Rather, nothing happened at all!
Flash forward to the morning. I mix up my ratio of sea salt and water, and chug the whole thing. I tried staying neutral on this, since I didn't find it offensive, yet it did take a little effort to get the whole damned thing down.
Afterwards, I head right to work on my Saturday schedule. Ok, there were strange noises, but I was anticipating some sort of signal from my body letting me know--Ok--time to hit the can.
I never got that signal. Quite the contrary, I sat there rather uncomfortably for several hours without much response from my body aside from general gurglings.
I sought backup help from curezone.com and quickly received a reply from several helpful people. They wanted to verify the Trader Joe's sea salt was white or not--I confirmed it was. They indicate that is the salt is white, it is iodized--something we don't want for the saltwater flush (aka SWF). Yet looking at the bottle with more detail, I didn't see iodine listed in the ingredients. Perhaps it's an OK brand of salt to use for the SWF--maybe not.
Well after some conflicting info (from Lewis and Bill) I've just opted not to do the SWF on day number two until I get a little more conclusive information. But alas I've forgotten about the cayenne.
Friday night in preparation for my adventure, I prepared a one gallon mix. Do the math at home with me. :)
1 gallon = 128 ounces. Each glass is supposed to be 10 ounces, so 1 gallon ~=~ 13 glasses.
1/2 lemon (or lime) is equal to 2 glasses worth of juice. Taking 7 lemons, juicing them all, I've created all the necessary juice needed for 1 gallon.
Since 2 tablespoons of liquid is equal to 1 ounce, I rounded up and used one cup for a 7/8 cups serving of the maple syrup. They recommended doing more syrup than less, especially in the beginning to stave off the hunger pangs.
Lastly, I thought: 1/10 teaspoons * 13 servings of cayenne should be about 1.33 teaspoons of cayenne pepper. I'll just go ahead and add the proper proportions...
Bad idea.
While the juice and maple syrup are amazingly good at keeping off the hunger, I absolutely can't stand the pepper. Yes it is intended to help break down things in the lower half of the body, but I just can't handle the pepper while trying to drink a glass of liquid. I don't mind the taste inherently; drinking it so it hits my throat tho? No way man.
People at curezone.com have recommended buying your own gel caps, putting the pepper in there, and taking them as appropriate. This idea I can handle--I just gotta find empty gel caps, a task I will under take tomorrow.
Since I didn't prepare anymore liquid before I went to work today, I've virtually drank water, and what few sips of the cayenne infested drink as I could. Water has been my staple for all of today thus far.
Did I mention that work, in honor of high VPs and client visiting, has purchased like 24 pizzas for the site? Ok, so talk about will power here--I've successfully avoided all of that pizza today.
But it gets better. At about 7PM tonight I noticed there was quite a bit left. I checked with Security to see if I could take some out if no one else minded. He agreed that it would be a waste to let--literally--a dozen or so pizzas go to waste tonight if no one eats them or takes them home. He essentially let me take some pizzas home, so I grabbed one hawaiian, one pepperoni, and one cheese. They had others--supreme style with a bunch of stuffs, some with various veggie and sausage, and I'm sure remnants of pepperoni here and there.
Welp, I openly took 3 out, after verifying with Security, and threw them in my car. I called up Lewis and Bill and let them know that I'm bringing home 3 medium pizzas. They were quite amused actually.
So picture this: I'm on day 2 of the MC; I've nursed what little of my drink of cayenne pepper, maple syrup, and lemon juice as I can; the rest of the time I've guzzled water. Enter into the picture 24 medium sized pizzas from Domino's, catered food for the clients, and general temptations to just go buy something from the machines, yet I've avoided them all. Did I mention me watching Simpsons for a small break and watching like 5 pizza commercials, several Arby's commercials and lots of general food commercials?? OMG my mouth was watering. ;)
I've even gone to lengths to take 3 pizzas outta here for the sake of Bill and Lewis, and I'm still unscathed from the ravages of hunger. Rar!
Damn. I just hope the next 8 days aren't like this. ;)
Well anyhow, those are my mild ordeals of day 1 and 2. I've been a good boy despite all the temptations. Oh, which reminds me of yet another disaster waiting to happen: The movie theatre!
Lewis "decided" last night that we need a date--just the two of us--since just a few days earlier I complained about not being able to go out to the theatres for reasons of money, and of time/company i.e. Bill, other visitors, etc.
So we went to see Haunted Mansion, the Disney produced flick which starred Eddie Murphy. The thought of movie theatres with wafts of popcorn, boxes of candy abound, huge drinks of soda, lots of ice cream varieties were all a temptation in and of itself too.
Normally, me and Lewis run to Wal-Mart, grab a few bags of candy there, and sneak them in using his backpack. As a former-employee of the movie theatre industry, he is aware that they have no right to search your backpack; if they see you with something, I suppose they can get upset. So while I've been nervous about putting candy, drinks and various snacks in a backpack and hauling it in guilty-as-sin, I've gotten over it for the most part.
"...and various snacks..." --That reminds me of the time we snuck in McDonalds with Steve and Lewis. We met up to go to the theatre, but had to do a McD's run beforehand due to hunger. At one point it was just decided to bring it all in, since the movie started soon. LOL, now THAT was funny. Imagine us just unwrapping our Big 'n Tastys, our Double Cheeseburgers, and just gorging ourselves in the middle of Century Theatre. I'm quite certain we got a look or two, but that only spurred me on even more. I just thought--yeah, for 2 bucks you idiots bought the smallest version of milk-duds on this planet. For 2 bucks, I got a 2 Doublecheese burgers! Ha! WhatdoyathinkofTHEMhamburgers?!
LOL, well anyhow; I digress (not a difficult thing tonight, apparently). The movie was quite amusing actually. I found it funny how Lewis jumped a few times from various things in the movie. From the get-go I was determined this to be a humorous movie, not a scary one. I mean, the opening words of the movie are: Welcome Foolish Mortals. Oh that's it I said: This is gonna be damned funny--screw the scary bit they so trying so hard to do. Bah.
Yeah so there you go; I wouldn't normally go spend full price on a movie like that, but I was still amused nevertheless. Definately a good matinee movie tho. Perhaps a date sorta movie since it got sappy at the end. Hmm.
Well so anyhow; there you have a quick summary. Most of those who read this and know me IRL, be weary. Christmas gifts are being purchased as we speak. Thus far, I'm amused with what I've gotten. Still have a few more people to do, most notably my Mom and Dad, Aunt Karen, Cindy & Colin and Vickie & Brian. The rest are pretty much accounted for, or some sort of plan is already in action. Do I cackle here, or wait a bit?
*waits*
*cackles!* =)
Anyhow, just kidding.
I guess that's about it for now. Good lord what a long post. Guess the guy at Random Reviews was right. Oh well; fuck him and the horse he rode in on. :)
Talk to you all later.