(no subject)
what a terrible, rotten fucking day
not only did i shatter my bowl into a thousand pieces AND break a pair of my glasses completely in half,
but i also discovered that one of my friends is now officially dating the guy i've had a crush on for 2+ years.
oh and she told me this while we were eating dinner together, so i had to sit there and keep talking to her like it was no big deal. just staring down at my sandwich, squeezing the seat cushion, fighting all my urges to freak out/cry/stab her with a fork.
she's beautiful and tiny and sassy and i'm sure they're extremely happy together. i feel like i'm in middle school again, watching pretty girls effortlessly live out my imaginary relationships
the worst part is, it's all my fault. maybe if i had a ounce of courage/self-confidence and had introduced myself to him A YEAR AGO when we lived right next to each other, things would be different. maybe if i had been reading a book instead of smoking in my bed today, i wouldn't have a cut on my hand from picking up broken, smelly pieces of glass.
i feel really, genuinely upset and trying to study for finals and write take-home exams is only worsening the pit in my stomach
p.s. walking in the snow, smoking cigarettes and listening to joni mitchell isn't a good way to try and make yourself feel better and it will probably just end with tears in front of the library
not only did i shatter my bowl into a thousand pieces AND break a pair of my glasses completely in half,
but i also discovered that one of my friends is now officially dating the guy i've had a crush on for 2+ years.
oh and she told me this while we were eating dinner together, so i had to sit there and keep talking to her like it was no big deal. just staring down at my sandwich, squeezing the seat cushion, fighting all my urges to freak out/cry/stab her with a fork.
she's beautiful and tiny and sassy and i'm sure they're extremely happy together. i feel like i'm in middle school again, watching pretty girls effortlessly live out my imaginary relationships
the worst part is, it's all my fault. maybe if i had a ounce of courage/self-confidence and had introduced myself to him A YEAR AGO when we lived right next to each other, things would be different. maybe if i had been reading a book instead of smoking in my bed today, i wouldn't have a cut on my hand from picking up broken, smelly pieces of glass.
i feel really, genuinely upset and trying to study for finals and write take-home exams is only worsening the pit in my stomach
p.s. walking in the snow, smoking cigarettes and listening to joni mitchell isn't a good way to try and make yourself feel better and it will probably just end with tears in front of the library