(no subject)
Its funny how somethings come back up and make you want to scream.
I cried at work today. Why? Cause I got an IM from a friend telling me that JT's dog Papa needs a new home...and would I be willing to help. Now it wasn't the friend trying to do anything stupid. He was just honestly worried about the dog and knew that I would be too...that Papa is my baby almost as much as Pieface is. So he wanted me to know.
I can't do anything about it. I don't even know if I want to. I mean yeah I do. My first instinct is to say I'll do it and to get back in contact with JT to take care of the dog. But I won't cause it would upset my little life. And it would cause a lot of trouble. It would give him an in back into my world and I don't want that. I have worked really hard at making sure that doesn't happen.
But it hurts.
And I cried and in that moment...I hated JT so fiercely that I probably would have spit in his face if he was in front of me. Or smacked him hard across the face. Cause that dog has been moved around, uprooted, ignored, abused and just generally treated like shit for most of his life. And he is the sweetest dog ever. My baby is a doll but he was the more agressive of the two (and for those of you that know Pie face...think about how sweet that must make Papa) and he is so smart...just as smart as Pie...and a big old goofy love. He doesn't deserve the things that have happened to him. No dog does but I know he has never done anything to warrent. Its just JT being more concerned at making sure he has a home (or three...or ten...or whatever) for his penis than one for his dog. It makes me sick. I haven't always been the best pet owner...I know that and I own that...but I try and I have gone thru hell to make sure my dog stays with me not with a stranger. And I will continue to make sure of that until his last breath.
I can't do anything about it. I wish I could. But if I did then I would take Papa period...there would be no give back...he has lost that priviledge. I will still ask M what she thinks but it will be known that if he does come into my backyard...he's mine. He will be home forever with me and loved...and spoiled...and sometimes not treated as well as I should. But always loved, and fed, and watered and have a chance to be with his brother and get to know papa C* (who Pie LOVES by the way...its soo cute C* doesn't know what to do with a big messy dog trying to give him love but man does Brownie like to give it to him!) and relearn what its like to have a forever home. That's what I wish I could do.
But we don't always get what we wish for...and I'm grown up enough to know that.
But just so you know...I hate you right now...what you have done to this dog is worse then anything you have done to me. Period. End of story. I can deal with anything being done to me...but to the dog? That's fucking unforgivable. He loves you. Utterly, totally and without reservation. Fucking learn to deserve it. Get out of the apartment. Stop being so dammed hedonistic and take responsiblity.
I cried at work today. Why? Cause I got an IM from a friend telling me that JT's dog Papa needs a new home...and would I be willing to help. Now it wasn't the friend trying to do anything stupid. He was just honestly worried about the dog and knew that I would be too...that Papa is my baby almost as much as Pieface is. So he wanted me to know.
I can't do anything about it. I don't even know if I want to. I mean yeah I do. My first instinct is to say I'll do it and to get back in contact with JT to take care of the dog. But I won't cause it would upset my little life. And it would cause a lot of trouble. It would give him an in back into my world and I don't want that. I have worked really hard at making sure that doesn't happen.
But it hurts.
And I cried and in that moment...I hated JT so fiercely that I probably would have spit in his face if he was in front of me. Or smacked him hard across the face. Cause that dog has been moved around, uprooted, ignored, abused and just generally treated like shit for most of his life. And he is the sweetest dog ever. My baby is a doll but he was the more agressive of the two (and for those of you that know Pie face...think about how sweet that must make Papa) and he is so smart...just as smart as Pie...and a big old goofy love. He doesn't deserve the things that have happened to him. No dog does but I know he has never done anything to warrent. Its just JT being more concerned at making sure he has a home (or three...or ten...or whatever) for his penis than one for his dog. It makes me sick. I haven't always been the best pet owner...I know that and I own that...but I try and I have gone thru hell to make sure my dog stays with me not with a stranger. And I will continue to make sure of that until his last breath.
I can't do anything about it. I wish I could. But if I did then I would take Papa period...there would be no give back...he has lost that priviledge. I will still ask M what she thinks but it will be known that if he does come into my backyard...he's mine. He will be home forever with me and loved...and spoiled...and sometimes not treated as well as I should. But always loved, and fed, and watered and have a chance to be with his brother and get to know papa C* (who Pie LOVES by the way...its soo cute C* doesn't know what to do with a big messy dog trying to give him love but man does Brownie like to give it to him!) and relearn what its like to have a forever home. That's what I wish I could do.
But we don't always get what we wish for...and I'm grown up enough to know that.
But just so you know...I hate you right now...what you have done to this dog is worse then anything you have done to me. Period. End of story. I can deal with anything being done to me...but to the dog? That's fucking unforgivable. He loves you. Utterly, totally and without reservation. Fucking learn to deserve it. Get out of the apartment. Stop being so dammed hedonistic and take responsiblity.