Late Night Thoughts
For the past few weeks, I have been dealing with pretty bad insomnia. It's not that I'm not tired; it's that I cannot fall asleep. My body is tired, my mind is tired, I can't even keep my eyes open because I'm so exhausted - but for whatever reason, I cannot get to sleep at a decent hour. I have tried so many things - reading, not eating after a certain time, eating less carbs/protein at dinner, exercising more, and "shutting off" my thoughts. Nothing has worked. Unfortunately, as part of my anxiety, I have racing thoughts that make it impossible for me to fall asleep. They don't stop. And it's not like I'm worried about anything or anxious about anything! For example, the other night I was thinking about when I get married (whenever that will be). I decided that I do want a wedding in my church at home. I was thinking about the reason why I wanted a wedding at St. Jerome's - because my grandmother is deceased and I know that she would have wanted me to have one in the church. And, my mom got remarried there, when my grandmother was alive. Next I started thinking about sentimental things like wanting the Ave Maria to be played at the wedding because that was my grandmother's favorite song (she passed that onto me.... ever since she passed in 2004 and it was played at her funeral, I get so emotional. I absolutely adore that song). I mean come on, how random are those thoughts?! If I was planning a wedding or even ENGAGED I would think those thoughts as normal, but they're just so .... random.
This weekend Jodi is coming to stay with me. I invited Colleen but unfortunately she already had plans. I thought it would be fun to have a girls weekend, but I know Jodi and I will have lots of fun. We don't have anything specific planned other than getting lots of homework/studying done and just spending some sisterly time together. I'm excited :) She'll be here in a few hours.
This week has been SO relaxing for me since we haven't had class. It's the break between Summer A and Summer B. It'll be interesting now, all the freshmen are starting on Monday, so campus will be filled with freshies with maps and being totally lost. That cracks me up because I remember being like that (minus the map... I NEVER put myself in that position!!).
It has been raining all week on and off; one minute it's sunny and the next it's totally nasty outside. Of course, I JUST swept all the dirt/leaves off of my patio area; just in time for the rain to bring it all back (I'm at the end of a slope so everything drains to my patio - how nice).
Hopefully it won't be raining so much this weekend and Jodi and I can hit the pool. Have a great weekend! :)