stuff
So, I noticed today on my Facebook newsfeed that a certain person is graduating. I try not to think about her, or CLO, or any of the people still there, because I will inevitably start thinking about everything that went wrong, during the three years that I was there, and mostly towards the end of my time there. I will just keep thinking how things could have gone differently, but all that that does is make me upset that I cannot fix things. Everything that has happened there has given me a bad taste about the business aspect of anything I might ever be involved with. Whenever I watch The Apprentice (there's not much on tv here), the board room meetings give me flashbacks to the last few months at CLO, when procedure flew out the window whenever Vince had anything to say.
Those of you that know me well, know that those three years had a great impact on my life. Being at a point where I cannot think about anything that happened in those years without feeling sad and useless is very hard.
I don't really talk to the boys that went over to the dark side anymore(the ones corrupted by the girl who is graduating). And I still don't understand her pull. I know that she badmouthed me to the alumni, so I am sure that that went on with the boys too, so I don't wish them happy birthday on facebook, and I generally just feel sad whenever I see their names on my newsfeed.
I hate that I feel like this. Jorge was a good friend at one point. But now I don't talk to him. And I never want to be in a board room again. I am scared to care for something, and have it ripped away from me, and be told that it is partially because of me that things went wrong.
Now you see why I try not to think about it? Because this is what happens. And yes, I have been crying while writing this. Because I cared so much before. And I still care. Even though I can do nothing. And that is why it hurts.
Those of you that know me well, know that those three years had a great impact on my life. Being at a point where I cannot think about anything that happened in those years without feeling sad and useless is very hard.
I don't really talk to the boys that went over to the dark side anymore(the ones corrupted by the girl who is graduating). And I still don't understand her pull. I know that she badmouthed me to the alumni, so I am sure that that went on with the boys too, so I don't wish them happy birthday on facebook, and I generally just feel sad whenever I see their names on my newsfeed.
I hate that I feel like this. Jorge was a good friend at one point. But now I don't talk to him. And I never want to be in a board room again. I am scared to care for something, and have it ripped away from me, and be told that it is partially because of me that things went wrong.
Now you see why I try not to think about it? Because this is what happens. And yes, I have been crying while writing this. Because I cared so much before. And I still care. Even though I can do nothing. And that is why it hurts.