i always do this to my self..
i dont want to be chubby anymore..i feel so ugly. i want to look good in a swim suit..and i want to be able to wear skirts. ugh i make my self sick..i look at my self everyday and hate what i see.
and i know this is wrong..but sometimes i wish i had a different mother..a mother who didnt drink..a mother who likes to know whats going on in my life and how i feel about things..a mother who did stuff with me when i was little..maybe put me in dance lessons or something..i didnt go to disneyland until i was almost a freshman..and even then my moms not the one who took me..my mom wont even take me to my friends house's. my dad wont either..and now lauras got a new truck and her mom made a new rule..that shes not aloud to come up to my house and pick me up..and im like well im sorry we're never going to hang out..cuz my mom will never take me anywhere. when my sister lived here..she was the one that did everything for me..took me shopping for school..EVERYTHING. my mom hardly ever did that for me..and now my sisters moving to arizona..and i honestly dont know what im going to do with out her..i mean she hasnt lived with me for a year..but it was okay cuz when ever i need to escape from my stupid mother..i could stay at her house. my sister is like my bestfriend..when i was little i always looked up to her..and wanted to be just like her..even tho she got into trouble all the time. and shes made alot of mistakes..but ive always looked up to her..and sunday..it hit me..that she was moving..i started crying..even tho im going to see her..in like a few days..ahh i dont even know..
this was a really long entry..and i didnt even mean to write that much.
im off. peace
and i know this is wrong..but sometimes i wish i had a different mother..a mother who didnt drink..a mother who likes to know whats going on in my life and how i feel about things..a mother who did stuff with me when i was little..maybe put me in dance lessons or something..i didnt go to disneyland until i was almost a freshman..and even then my moms not the one who took me..my mom wont even take me to my friends house's. my dad wont either..and now lauras got a new truck and her mom made a new rule..that shes not aloud to come up to my house and pick me up..and im like well im sorry we're never going to hang out..cuz my mom will never take me anywhere. when my sister lived here..she was the one that did everything for me..took me shopping for school..EVERYTHING. my mom hardly ever did that for me..and now my sisters moving to arizona..and i honestly dont know what im going to do with out her..i mean she hasnt lived with me for a year..but it was okay cuz when ever i need to escape from my stupid mother..i could stay at her house. my sister is like my bestfriend..when i was little i always looked up to her..and wanted to be just like her..even tho she got into trouble all the time. and shes made alot of mistakes..but ive always looked up to her..and sunday..it hit me..that she was moving..i started crying..even tho im going to see her..in like a few days..ahh i dont even know..
this was a really long entry..and i didnt even mean to write that much.
im off. peace