Intercomm - Epic Short Fic - "Alone...Together"
Title: Alone…Together
Author: wenrom31
Word Count: 7158 (I know, I know…that’s way too many words for a smut!fic. Blame my inner prude who simply would not let me get straight to the smut and insisted I build the illusion of a story around it instead. Pfft.)
Rating: It’s a bit stronger than your average “R” but I really don’t think it warrants an “NC-17” rating, so…let’s just call it a “Strong R” m-kay?
Characters/Pairings: Will/Djaq, various mentions of the other outlaws, brief mention of Marian
Warnings: Full of smut and definitely NSFW. ;)
Summary: Set between 2x12 and 2x13. Will and Djaq have been craving some ‘alone time’…they finally get it.
Notes: (A) Thank you to roh_wyn, as always, for the fantastic beta job! I've revised a bit (or a lot, lol) and so any mistakes you see are mine alone. (B) I actually wrote this ages ago and just couldn't work up the nerve to post it (yes, it's that damn inner prude of mine!). But...well...intercomm is almost over and so...here goes nothing.
They hadn't had more than a few moments alone together since before Nettlestone, and that had been weeks ago. At first, they hadn't really had the chance to think about it amid their mad dash to the port and their quest to find a boat that would get them across the sea quickly. Besides, they were all just grateful to be alive and together. Really together, considering Allan had finally rejoined them. So there was no time for thoughts of any other kind.
But once they'd boarded the ship and there was little to do but be together, Djaq had found that the constant presence of the others grew irritating rather quickly. She and Will had wanted so badly to be alone together. They’d needed time to finally explore this newly-declared “love” each had been harboring for the other. But the ship was rather small and they were not the only people on board, of course. And they'd known that, for safety's sake, they'd needed to keep together as a group as much as possible.
But it had been so difficult!
Every time she and Will would have a moment to themselves, one of the others-usually Allan or Much-would come along and spoil it. Djaq knew it wasn't exactly fair to think of it that way. After all, Allan had been away from them for a long time and he'd missed them very much. And they'd missed him. Terribly, in fact.
And Much, of course, was just being Much. He hated the rocking of the boat and the fact that every day took them farther away from England and closer to the land of his and Robin's nightmares. And he really hated the fact that Robin was so melancholy about the king...and Marian.
Therefore, Much stuck close to Djaq because she had always been able to put his mind at ease when he got too...well, too Much-like.
So it wasn't as if she or Will could legitimately object to the lack of privacy. But it would have been nice to have an hour or two to themselves once in a while, just to sit together quietly and maybe talk about everything that was going on. Alone. Without the constant interruptions. Like they'd always done in Sherwood.
But Sherwood seemed like a lifetime ago and they were two very different people now-two people in love. And they'd very quickly figured out that, for two people in love, being alone was not exactly the best idea.
Once they'd docked, disembarked, and started the land portion of their journey, they'd all begun to breathe a little easier. The solid earth under their feet was an enormous relief, of course, but not nearly as much as the sudden realization that they didn’t have to hide in the shadows. They were no longer hunted-not here where no one knew them or their status as English outlaws.
They'd still had to take some care, however, due to the seriousness of their mission. But there had been a sense of freedom to it all that most of them hadn't felt in a very long time. They'd moved at a very fast pace during the daylight hours and made camp at night. But when they'd happen to pass through a town or a small village, they'd felt relatively safe enough to venture into the markets and alehouses from time to time, just like any other travelers might.
And it was during these infrequent moments of normalcy that Will and Djaq had finally gotten a taste of the privacy they'd been craving. Those times were brief, but they were exhilarating. They would quietly slip away from the others, hand in hand, and find some hidden little spot to talk. Just talk. That was all. Really.
Except that it didn't take them long to go from talking and hand-holding to kissing and nuzzling. And things would only escalate from there.
Until one day when John had come to collect them-as it was time to be back on the road-at precisely the same moment Will was pinning Djaq up against the back wall of a barn. One of her legs was slung over his hip as he worked his hands under her blouse while applying very heated kisses to every part of her he could reach.
That was further than they'd ever gone before and the sound of John clearing his throat directly behind them had made both of them nearly jump out of their skin. They were mortified-all three of them. And Will had been especially contrite.
He felt as if he'd tainted Djaq in some way in the eyes of the others. Even though it had only been John who'd seen them-and he was the member of the gang least likely to ever mention it again-and no matter the fact that Will had always treated her with more respect than any man alive could have done, she knew that he felt horrible about it.
And, truth be told, Djaq wasn't exactly happy about John catching them in such an intimate position either. But, at the same time, she was actually enormously relieved that he'd come along when he had. And she had the sneaking suspicion that Will was too.
After all, if John had happened upon them even a few moments later, who knew what he would have interrupted!
No no. That would simply not do at all. That was when both of them had silently agreed that an extreme lack of privacy, as well as constant interruptions by their friends, might just be a very good thing after all. And things had been relatively tame between them since.
But the incident with John had been weeks ago, and they were now in Marseilles, aboard yet another ship. The final one. The one that would take them right into Acre's port, eventually.
Robin had secured a small cabin for the six of them to share, although Djaq had no idea how he'd managed such a thing given their serious lack of funds. But he'd spoken to the captain and the two had seemed to come to some sort of an agreement. The ship would depart in two days' time and the outlaws would be on board when it did.
So the others had decided to spend their last days on land actually on land.
Knowing that this sea voyage would be far longer and probably rougher than the last, made them all determined to enjoy the earth underfoot while they still could. They would partake of the bustling activity the port town had to offer, camp out for the night, and wouldn't board the ship until they absolutely had to. At least that's what Much, Allan and John had declared. Robin, of course, only spoke when he had to.
Will and Djaq had had every intention of joining their friends. Really they had. In fact, they'd been all set to do just that when the group was making their way merrily down the gangplank. But, for some reason, Djaq had heard herself suggesting to the others that someone should perhaps stay behind to guard some of their bulkier supplies, and she'd just as inexplicably heard Will agreeing.
So that had been that. The others had gone on without them and if any of their friends had thought Will and Djaq staying behind together was either curious, scandalous, or even just the butt of a good joke, they had let it pass without comment. And for that, Djaq was enormously grateful.
And now they were completely and blissfully alone. Really alone, in a way they had never been before-even in Sherwood. And they would be all night. Yet, strangely enough, there was none of the usual kissing and petting going on in the tiny cabin. There were no surprised gasps and no soft mewls of pleasure. In fact, they weren't even talking or holding hands.
They were just sitting there, on the floor.
She had her legs folded in front of her and her hands resting on her knees. Will was leaning against the opposite wall-which, given the size of the cabin, was not very far away from her at all-and his legs were stretched out across the floor. He was watching her intently and whenever she'd look up and catch his eye, he would smile sweetly at her. It was all very...respectable. She might even go so far as to call it chaste.
Except their intentions were anything but.
Djaq could only guess at what Will was thinking, but she knew perfectly well what was on her mind. She knew that she could dress it up any way she liked, but the honest truth of the matter was that she'd decided to stay behind with him today because she wanted him. All of him. She wanted and needed to be with him and she just didn't want to wait any more.
There was simply no reason to. Not really. It was not as if they would ever be able to marry properly anyway. That was forbidden to them and would always remain so.
And although she had been brought up to guard her virtue with as much vigilance and determination as she guarded her very life, she knew those rules simply did not apply with Will.
How could they?
For she was already his in every way that mattered. In some strange way, it felt as if she had always been his. Even long before they'd met. She sometimes had to remind herself that he hadn't always been there, a part of her life from the very start.
But he was here now...and so was she. And he loved her more than his own life. She knew that without even a single doubt.
He would never leave her, never betray her, never grow tired of her and move on to someone else. He would love and protect her and the children they would make together, and they would be a family and spend the rest of their days that way.
And weren't those fears the very reasons a woman had to keep such careful watch over her virtue?
She also knew that she loved him more than she'd ever thought she could love anyone. So rather than something to be fiercely guarded, her body was now something to be shared. With him. And she intended to do just that.
Her heart was racing, just as it did each and every time she'd been alone with him since Nettlestone. She missed his touch, his warm breath on her neck, the way her body responded to his kisses. They'd had far too little contact recently and she needed him badly.
But she didn't know quite how to say all of that to him. And she hadn't really expected she would have to.
She assumed he knew and that he'd been thinking the exact same thing when he'd agreed to spend the night alone with her. After all, wasn't that what men supposedly spent the bulk of their time thinking about, wanting, and trying to get?
While she knew that Will wasn't exactly that type of man, he was still a man and she knew that he had normal, healthy urges just like any other. She'd seen the need simmering behind his eyes and felt the force of his pent-up hunger for her enough times to know the passion he must be holding back.
And if she was feeling the effects of restraint, she could only imagine how difficult it was for him. But she also knew that his love and respect for her outweighed everything else, even his desire.
But there was no further need to hold back, was there? He must be well aware that, after the two of them had been so careful with each other as of late, her sudden and decisive move to spend the night alone with him could only mean one thing.
And yet he was still just sitting there.
Although, in all fairness, so was she. Maybe he was just taking his cue from her, letting her set the pace of their interaction just in case he'd misunderstood her signals. Perhaps he was afraid of moving too fast for her, or of scaring her.
Now that she thought about it, hadn't he always been that way with her? Hadn't he always been patient and considerate, giving her the time and space she needed to figure out what she wanted, then letting her come to him when she was ready? Hadn't that been the entire basis of their relationship up to now? Wasn't that one of the main reasons she'd finally felt safe enough to allow herself to be loved by him in the first place?
So with a deep breath and a determined effort to stop her knees from shaking, she scooted over to where he sat and looked up at him, smiling. She was met with a warm smile in return as she folded into his welcoming arms and laid her head against his chest.
He kissed the top of her head and then rested his cheek against her temple. The sound and feel of his heartbeat went a long way towards calming some of her fears and she leaned up, craning her neck to kiss him firmly on the lips.
He responded immediately and drew her up to him as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. The caress of his tongue and the feel of his hands planted firmly at the small of her back emboldened her further and she lifted up on her knees, trying to press even closer to his body, straddling him. She settled on his lap and leaned into him, winding her arms about his neck and tangling her fingers in his hair.
He grunted softly, deepening the kiss and increasing the pressure of his hands on her back. She loved how secure he made her feel and she let herself get lost a bit in the moment as she ground her hips against him in an effort to get even closer.
But he stopped kissing her immediately and seized her wrists, wrenching her arms from round his neck and holding her out in front of him. He held her firmly in place-just far enough out of reach so that she couldn't kiss him-with a determined force he'd never used with her before. She just looked at him, puzzled.
“Will? What are you-” But she cut off almost instantly when he met her eyes and she saw the conflict there. And the...what? Regret?
“I don't-” he began but stopped, exhaling heavily instead and looking away from her.
What was this? Had she done something wrong? Behaved too impulsively? Been too aggressive? Could it be that he really didn't want her?
She pulled herself out of his grasp and stood up quickly, backing away from him. Her face burned with shame and she suddenly wished for the shadowed sanctuary of the forest. She wanted to hide. She wanted to be alone. Not here, in this too-small room, on this cursed ship, in this god-forsaken land with this man who did not want her!
“No, come here,” he said, on his feet and reaching for her at once. She pushed at him with all her might but he wouldn't back off. “I'm sorry,” he said as he finally succeeded in getting his arms around her despite her best efforts to keep him from doing so.
“Let go of me!” she demanded angrily-hot, shameful tears threatening to spill down her cheeks any second.
“No. Now stop fighting me and just let me explain. Please?” he implored, taking a firm hold of her wrists to keep her from striking out at him.
But she didn't want explanations. She was hurt and embarrassed. He'd rejected her. Will had rejected her. And at a moment like this.
So she continued to struggle against him, frustrated and mildly perplexed at the amount of strength he could muster to keep her in place and still not hurt her.
“Just listen,” he said in what was almost a whisper as he gently eased her back toward the wall. When they reached it, he loosened his grip on her wrists and brought them down to rest at her sides. Then he reached up and took her face gently in his hands, coaxing her to look up at him. “Djaq, I just...I...I want you to be sure about this.”
There was a seriousness in his eyes and his tone that commanded her attention, but she saw that there was love there too. There was always love when he looked at her, so she stilled her struggling and prepared herself to hear him out.
“I am sure about this,” she said defensively. “Or I was,” she added quietly, still feeling slightly bitter and more than a little embarrassed.
“But I want you to be positive.”
“Why would you think that I am not?” she asked, her anger subsiding and morphing into confusion.
“I just don't want you to think you have to. That I...expect this of you.”
She frowned. “I don't think that,” she said firmly. How could she ever possibly think that? He was always so respectful with her and she'd always appreciated it.
She allowed her body to slacken even further, letting him know that she was done fighting him, and he, in turn, softened his stance.
“I know that I've let things get...well, that I've gotten carried away with you at times. I know I shouldn't have, but I just...I've never felt this way, Djaq, and I-”
“I know. Me too,” she cut him off softly, bringing her hand up to rest against his cheek and keeping her eyes locked with his. “But Will, I love you and I...I trust you. We are together. There is no reason for us not to...be together,” she stammered. The words, while heartfelt, were awkward on her tongue.
“But are you s-”
“Do not ask me again if I am sure. I promise you that I am.” she stated.
And then his whole demeanor changed right before her eyes.
“Oh, Djaq,” he breathed, pulling her close to him and burying his face against her shoulder while he gently nuzzled her neck.
The sound of his voice as he said her name-filled with relief, gratitude, and want-set butterflies dancing in her belly and caused tingling heat to make its way down to settle between her thighs.
“I'll make it good for you, I promise,” he whispered huskily against her ear and she was struck with two thoughts at that moment. One was this was likely to be a painful experience for her. Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd known it would be, but she hadn't really considered it until now.
But the second thought was much more unsettling. There was something in the way he spoke the words that told her this would not be a first for him. He'd obviously done this with someone before. Maybe multiple times with multiple someones. It was a sobering and somewhat painful thought.
The possibility had never really occurred to her until now, though she didn't know why it shouldn't have. He was young and healthy, and he was the kind of man whose affections any woman would feel honored to capture.
But she'd never actually seen him with another woman since she'd known him. Not like that. In fact, she didn't think she'd ever seen him look at anyone else with anything even resembling interest or affection. And she realized that, even long before their confession of love, she had rather unconsciously come to consider him hers alone.
She must have tensed and he must have felt it because he leaned back to look at her then as he brought his face down close to hers and said, “I'll be careful, I promise. I'll make sure you feel as little discomfort as possible.”
He obviously assumed her apprehension was regarding the pain she would be facing and she was glad he didn't know the real reason. For she suddenly felt incredibly foolish for her thoughts of a moment before. Of course he was hers alone. This was Will. The man who loved her. The man who made her feel beautiful and happy and free.
She had no idea what he'd done before…or with whom, but she knew with complete certainty that he'd been absolutely faithful to her since the moment he'd begun loving her. And that was all that really mattered.
So she brought her palm up to cup his face and looked deep into his eyes. “I know you will,” she whispered. “I told you, I trust you. Completely.”
This seemed to be about as much as his willpower could take because his lips were on hers at once, sucking and caressing, driving away any lingering doubts or fears she had.
She felt her knees buckle from the force of his passion and she grabbed onto his waist to keep from pulling them both down to the floor.
A deep growl rose in his throat as he backed her against the wall once again and ran his hands down over her sides as he continued devouring her lips. His own lips were soft and warm yet forceful in their exploration and she yielded to them easily. In her excitement she shivered against him, feeling her skin break out in goose-flesh, and she pushed closer to his body, coveting his warmth.
His hands slipped under her blouse and came to rest across her stomach as her own hands clawed at his tunic, searching for the hem. When she found it, she gathered both his outer tunic and his under shirt in her fists and yanked them mercilessly up over his back.
He released her lips breathlessly and stepped back from her enough to allow her to pull his clothing over his head. Then he finished the job himself by freeing his arms and flinging the garment aside, replanting his lips on hers as soon as he'd done so.
Her mind was whirling and her breath came out in short gasps around their frantic kisses. A low moan welled up inside of her as she ran her hands over the too-lean muscles of his now-bare chest. She pressed her own chest against him and felt her nipples peak and harden at the contact.
He must have felt them too, because he slid both his hands under her blouse again and this time she felt them come up slowly to take hold of her breasts. She moaned and shuddered as he caught her nipples between his fingers and lightly tweaked them.
“Oh Will,” she whimpered, breaking the kiss in favor of trailing her tongue across the base of his throat. He lifted his chin in order to give her better access as he groaned deeply and increased the pressure on her nipples.
She was pleased to find that even after so many weeks away from home, there were still traces of the forest on his skin. Wood, leaves, smoke, and English weather were now tinged with the dust from their travels and salt from the sea air. The taste of it as she lapped at his neck drove her absolutely mad with desire.
He was intoxicating! She didn't think she'd ever felt so...so connected to another person and she knew that Will felt it too. For he responded to every movement or sound she made, adjusting the pressure of his touch and the weight of his body against hers accordingly.
She grabbed hold of her shirt and tried to pull it up over her head without breaking contact with him, but it proved impossible. So she stopped kissing his neck and put all her effort into ridding herself of the garment instead.
Will stopped fondling her breasts just long enough to help her and then, as soon as her top was off, his mouth was on one of her nipples and her brain was suddenly nothing but a fuzzy mix of need and pleasure.
He wrapped his arms around her naked waist and pulled her tightly against him. She buried her fingers in his hair as he dragged his hot mouth from one breast to the other, up to her neck, and then back again. Sucking and licking and teasing.
His hands slowly made their way to the waistband of her trousers and a jolt of excitement shot through her whole body. He struggled with the ties for a moment until he loosened the knot and then he just stopped...everything. No kissing or caressing, no more frantic tugging at her trousers.
She opened her eyes, intending to protest, only to find him kneeling in front of her, ready to remove her boots. And as she lifted one foot and then the other to assist him, he looked up at her and smiled.
And that was it...her heart melted. He was so beautiful and he belonged to her! How had she ever managed to capture the heart of such a man?
She dropped to her knees along with him and took his face in her hands. “I love you so much,” she said, her voice cracking a little with emotion, before kissing him so deeply she nearly forgot to breathe.
He returned her kiss eagerly, wrapping his arms around her and slowly taking her backwards with him until he was lying on the floor with her on top of him.
The feeling of her bare upper body pressed against his and his hands moving up and down her back was more than she could take. She reached down, fumbling for the waistband of her trousers, wriggling against him as she eased them down over her hips and bottom, taking her undergarments along.
Will reached down and helped her tug them all the way off, leaving her completely exposed to him for the first time. Then he grabbed her around the waist again, ending their kiss and lifting her body off of him enough so that he could look her up and down. His eyes were dazed and unfocused, his breathing rough and uneven.
She watched him as his eyes traveled over her body, feeling her face burn at the attention. But at the same time, she found herself unable to look away. She sat up higher, leaning back seductively to give him a better view. His face was so intense, his eyes black pools of desire. It thrilled her and made her feel...wanted...needed...powerful.
He ran his hands up and down her entire body, filling her with heat and desire. Then he met her eyes and quickly drew her back down to him, kissing her hard and deeply.
“I love you,” he groaned against her mouth, sounding almost like a man in pain. “I love you, Djaq.”
Then all at once he slung one of his legs over hers, splayed one hand across her back and brought the other down to cradle her backside. He then tried to flip them both over in one fluid motion so that he was on top of her, but he must have miscalculated a bit because instead they ended up toppling over rather gracelessly.
Djaq couldn't help the giggle that escaped her at the look of surprise on Will's face. He'd obviously intended to be very smooth about the whole thing and now looked as though he couldn't quite figure out where he'd gone wrong.
“Oh you think that's funny, do you?” he demanded, but there was a twinkle in his eye that belied his serious tone.
“Oh yes. Very funny,” she quipped.
“Oh yeah?” he challenged, easing himself on top of her bit by bit.
“Yes,” she gasped, her breath hitching in her throat at his slow approach, his nearness.
Then he smiled, “Well I suppose it was a little funny.”
“Oh no,” she giggled again. “It was a lot funny,”
He growled and bent his head to kiss her cheek. “This is supposed to be a very serious matter you know,” he scolded playfully.
“Then perhaps you should stop being so very funny,” she teased.
“Oh yeah?”
She nodded, trying to stifle another giggle.
“Oh I'll show you funny,” he threatened.
“Well you had better show me something, Will Scarlett, because I just realized that I am the only one of us who is naked and I am fairly certain that is not how this is supposed to work,” she answered cheekily, feeling suddenly bolder.
“Hm. You're right about that,” he chuckled. “I'll just do something about that then, shall I?” he added in a husky voice and then leaned down to capture one of her nipples in his mouth.
She inhaled sharply and arched into him, surprised by how quickly the levity of a moment ago had dissolved back into passion.
She felt him kicking off his shoes and then he reached down to unlace his trousers, accidentally brushing her bare thigh as he did so. She hissed, soft and low, and wrapped her arms around his back as he wiggled out of his trousers and settled himself on top of her once again.
He held his weight up on his forearms with his hands planted alongside her shoulders. His stomach and hips were pressed snuggly against hers and one of his legs rested between her legs on the floor. He felt warm and strong, and she felt safe and protected lying there beneath him.
He released her breast and came up to kiss her mouth, shifting his body so that she could now feel the weight of his erection, hot and hard, pressing against her thigh. It startled her a little as it wasn't quite what she had been expecting. She'd thought it would be cold and maybe slippery...kind of like a serpent. But it wasn't that way at all.
She mentally chastised herself and tried to shut down that part of her brain that couldn't help analyzing every sensation as if it were all a part of some larger scientific experiment, and instead gave herself over to his kiss more fully. She ran her hands up and down his back, enjoying the way his chest just barely brushed against her breasts with every breath he took.
He moaned softly, deepening their kiss and shifting his weight over her once again. Then his hand was between their bodies, lightly stroking her inner thigh, and she bucked instinctively. So he repeated the action, this time with longer and more deliberate movements, and she gasped, loving the way it felt, but also a little fearful of the tingling tension that was coiling itself deep within her belly.
This was all so new to her and she tried to remember to breathe as she lost herself in his touch.
Then she let out a loud yelp, taken aback all of a sudden when his hand found its way between her delicate folds.
At once he stopped kissing and touching and raised his head to look down at her. “I'm sorry,” he said quickly, his face and voice laden with worry. “Did...did I hurt you?”
“No,” she answered sheepishly, casting her eyes away in an attempt to hide the mortification she felt over her childish reaction. But when she chanced a look back at him, she saw that he was still studying her intently, looking guilty and concerned.
That's when she realized that he was probably just as nervous about this new step in their relationship as she was. They knew each other so well in so many ways, and yet they were completely unfamiliar with one another when it came to this.
“Really,” she added sincerely. “I was just...surprised.”
She felt her cheeks flame, but she ignored her embarrassment as she reached up to take his face in her palm and pull him down for a kiss.
He hesitated only briefly, perhaps still uncertain whether he'd caused her any discomfort, before giving in and sinking into the kiss completely.
For a long time he just kissed her-soft and slow and deep, breaking away only long enough to gaze at her lovingly before kissing her again.
Then slowly, so slowly, he slid his hand down between them again and touched her. There. And everything else was forgotten.
She could focus on nothing but the delicious feeling of his rough fingers dragging up and down, up and down through her increasingly slick warmth.
She spread her legs as wide as she could manage and pushed her pelvis forward, silently pleading for more.
More contact. More stroking. More heat.
And he complied eagerly, dropping his head to her shoulder and sucking on her neck as he did so.
The combined feeling of his tongue on her neck and his fingers down below made the warm feeling in her belly start to spread.
“Djaq?” he whispered in her ear, his voice ragged and hoarse. “Are-are you ready?”
Oh she was so ready and, clearly, so was he.
“Yes,” she answered breathlessly with a nod, trying to put aside all thoughts of the pain that was to come.
He stopped touching her then and moved to position himself at her entrance. He took a deep breath and then pushed, just a little, before stopping to look down at her face.
She nodded at the question in his eyes, incredibly touched by his concern for her comfort - especially given the difficulty he seemed to be having in holding back. His face was perspiring and his arms and legs were shaking a little from trying to maintain his position and not thrust into her with abandon.
“I'm okay, Will,” she said softly, doing her best to smile through her nervousness so he wouldn't worry.
“Would you tell me if you weren't?” he asked after studying her face for any sign that she wasn't being truthful.
She honestly didn't know if she would. After all, the discomfort was inevitable, and it probably wouldn't last long anyway. So what would be the point of making him feel bad about causing her pain, when she could just as easily grin and bear it without him ever being the wiser.
But it seemed horribly wrong somehow to lie to him when they were in such an intimate position.
“I...I do not know...but...I really am fine. It does not hurt.”
She gave him a little smile and wrapped her arms around his neck, slowly kissing him. Then she braced herself as he pushed into her a little more. Still there was no pain but this time she could feel some resistance and she willed herself to relax and take deep breaths, afraid the next push would be a painful one.
And it was...a little. And the next was even more so. And the next. Until even the tiniest push sent a jagged little twinge shooting up into her belly and down her legs.
But Will did everything he could to take her mind off of it by placing light, gentle kisses along her neck and chest while slowly caressing her nipples with the pads of his fingers. And it helped. A lot.
She closed her eyes and tried her best to focus on his tender attentions, knowing that she was very lucky to have a man who loved her so much. For many women, this experience was far worse, surely. But Will would never take his pleasure at the expense of her pain, and she was once again touched at the amount of self-control he was able to master for her sake.
Eventually, after what felt like a very long time, she felt him inhale deeply and give one final thrust, sending a stabbing pain shooting through her body as he finally pierced her maidenhead. She bit her lip and held her breath until the ache was reduced to a dull throb, and then she released her breath and opened her eyes to find Will staring down at her.
“Are you alright?” he asked, kissing her forehead softly. “Should I go on? Or...do you need a minute?”
Go on? That was not it?
She did not feel like that was the sort of question she could ask him though. Maybe someday it would be, but this experience had already been far too embarrassing.
“Go on,” she answered tentatively, wondering how she was supposed to know when it was actually over.
When he was once again moving inside of her, everything was still a bit sore, but there was now a definite feeling of belonging. Like everything was right. Just as it should be.
Will raised his body higher above her, and began to roll his hips against her in a more fluid rhythm. She found herself watching him in fascination, loving the way he closed his eyes and let the pleasure wash over his face.
He must have really been holding back, because now he was clearly letting go, punctuating each movement with a gasp, a sigh or a moan. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.
She felt foolish for thinking he had reached his release a moment before when, clearly, he was just getting started.
And when he opened his eyes and looked at her, she realized that she no longer felt any discomfort and she wondered when the pain had stopped.
She looked up at him and took a chance at rolling her hips against his, hoping she was doing it right.
He let out a shuddering groan and bent his head to look down between them at where their bodies were joined. She felt herself blush when she realized what he was doing, but also-maybe even more so-it excited her. So she rolled her hips again and reveled in the effect it had on him...and the way that made her feel.
The hot tingling from earlier was back and this time Djaq welcomed it, letting it wrap itself around her and slowly drive her toward...something. She didn't quite know what. But something wonderful and almost close enough to touch...something she needed…badly.
It took a few awkward tries before they were working together on their movements. Once they'd fallen into a steady rhythm, however, Will sank down into her arms and kissed her languidly, pausing only to whisper lovingly in her ear or to trail feather-light kisses across her neck and chest.
She could feel every part of him through every part of her, and she loved the sensation of being completely filled up by him. Every touch, every sound, every kiss made her want to push harder, faster. And the more she did, the more intense the feeling.
Her heart sped up and she was panting and sweating, but she didn't want to stop...she couldn't stop. She slid her hands down his back and tried her best to hold him there as she rocked against him, faster, faster, faster.
“Oh Djaq,” he breathed. “That's it. Just like that. Don't stop.”
His wicked words, the feel of his breath in her ear, his touch, his kiss, his scent, the way he moved over her...it was all just too much.
The blood was rushing through her body and thundering in her ears. Will was saying something, but all she could hear were the words beautiful and mine as she squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on the feel of his body and the way they rocked together.
Her skin was humming as heat and exhilaration and want flooded every part of her. It felt so good...he felt so good...above her, inside her.
And then there was nothing and everything all at the same time and she couldn't be bothered to remember what to do or how to move or even where she was. All she knew, through the haze of pleasure and love, was that she was with Will...and he was grunting against her shoulder and saying her name again and again.
It was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard, but he sounded so very far away, even though he was right there in her arms. And she couldn't quite manage to answer him because every ounce of energy she had was being used by her body to drown her in never-ending warmth and pleasure.
Then, when it was over, she spent several blissful moments just trying to catch her breath and marveling at how so much intensity had now subsided into a few tiny ripples of pleasure here and there. She felt Will's long fingers dragging through her hair and she opened her eyes to find him looking down at her.
“Are you alright?” he asked, still a little breathless himself.
She nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed at how carried away she'd gotten and wondering if it would always be this way...so frighteningly intense, so perfect.
“I'm so sorry I hurt you,” he said quietly, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
“I think that you have more than made up for it,” she teased, smiling up at him.
He chuckled softly and planted more kisses on her face. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Thank you,” she replied. “You know, we will not have many more opportunities to be alone this way for quite some time.”
He shook his head, gently shushing her. “I don't wanna think about that just now,” he said, carefully withdrawing himself from her and rolling over to settle at her back. “Tonight I just wanna hold you.”
“I would like that,” she answered with a yawn, snuggling back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him. “I love you, Will,” she added when they'd both gotten comfortable and he'd reached for his bedroll to toss over their sweaty bodies.
“I love you,” he whispered in her ear as he lay his head against her shoulder.
Djaq closed her eyes, lulled by the sound of Will's breathing, and tried not to think about all that was to come. But it was impossible to block out.
She was returning to a home that was no longer hers, to save the life of the king who had destroyed it. It was frightening and confusing and she didn't want to think about it.
Right now, she was snuggled into the arms of the man she loved. It was more than she'd ever hoped to have and she would not be greedy. She would not dwell on tomorrow with all of its unknowns. She would enjoy what Allah had given her today and let tomorrow come on its own, just as it always did.
Besides, the weight of Will's body at her back as he slept was all the assurance she needed. So she cast her fears aside for now and let the sound of him softly snoring and the feel of his warm breath on her neck carry her off to a peaceful slumber.
Author: wenrom31
Word Count: 7158 (I know, I know…that’s way too many words for a smut!fic. Blame my inner prude who simply would not let me get straight to the smut and insisted I build the illusion of a story around it instead. Pfft.)
Rating: It’s a bit stronger than your average “R” but I really don’t think it warrants an “NC-17” rating, so…let’s just call it a “Strong R” m-kay?
Characters/Pairings: Will/Djaq, various mentions of the other outlaws, brief mention of Marian
Warnings: Full of smut and definitely NSFW. ;)
Summary: Set between 2x12 and 2x13. Will and Djaq have been craving some ‘alone time’…they finally get it.
Notes: (A) Thank you to roh_wyn, as always, for the fantastic beta job! I've revised a bit (or a lot, lol) and so any mistakes you see are mine alone. (B) I actually wrote this ages ago and just couldn't work up the nerve to post it (yes, it's that damn inner prude of mine!). But...well...intercomm is almost over and so...here goes nothing.
They hadn't had more than a few moments alone together since before Nettlestone, and that had been weeks ago. At first, they hadn't really had the chance to think about it amid their mad dash to the port and their quest to find a boat that would get them across the sea quickly. Besides, they were all just grateful to be alive and together. Really together, considering Allan had finally rejoined them. So there was no time for thoughts of any other kind.
But once they'd boarded the ship and there was little to do but be together, Djaq had found that the constant presence of the others grew irritating rather quickly. She and Will had wanted so badly to be alone together. They’d needed time to finally explore this newly-declared “love” each had been harboring for the other. But the ship was rather small and they were not the only people on board, of course. And they'd known that, for safety's sake, they'd needed to keep together as a group as much as possible.
But it had been so difficult!
Every time she and Will would have a moment to themselves, one of the others-usually Allan or Much-would come along and spoil it. Djaq knew it wasn't exactly fair to think of it that way. After all, Allan had been away from them for a long time and he'd missed them very much. And they'd missed him. Terribly, in fact.
And Much, of course, was just being Much. He hated the rocking of the boat and the fact that every day took them farther away from England and closer to the land of his and Robin's nightmares. And he really hated the fact that Robin was so melancholy about the king...and Marian.
Therefore, Much stuck close to Djaq because she had always been able to put his mind at ease when he got too...well, too Much-like.
So it wasn't as if she or Will could legitimately object to the lack of privacy. But it would have been nice to have an hour or two to themselves once in a while, just to sit together quietly and maybe talk about everything that was going on. Alone. Without the constant interruptions. Like they'd always done in Sherwood.
But Sherwood seemed like a lifetime ago and they were two very different people now-two people in love. And they'd very quickly figured out that, for two people in love, being alone was not exactly the best idea.
Once they'd docked, disembarked, and started the land portion of their journey, they'd all begun to breathe a little easier. The solid earth under their feet was an enormous relief, of course, but not nearly as much as the sudden realization that they didn’t have to hide in the shadows. They were no longer hunted-not here where no one knew them or their status as English outlaws.
They'd still had to take some care, however, due to the seriousness of their mission. But there had been a sense of freedom to it all that most of them hadn't felt in a very long time. They'd moved at a very fast pace during the daylight hours and made camp at night. But when they'd happen to pass through a town or a small village, they'd felt relatively safe enough to venture into the markets and alehouses from time to time, just like any other travelers might.
And it was during these infrequent moments of normalcy that Will and Djaq had finally gotten a taste of the privacy they'd been craving. Those times were brief, but they were exhilarating. They would quietly slip away from the others, hand in hand, and find some hidden little spot to talk. Just talk. That was all. Really.
Except that it didn't take them long to go from talking and hand-holding to kissing and nuzzling. And things would only escalate from there.
Until one day when John had come to collect them-as it was time to be back on the road-at precisely the same moment Will was pinning Djaq up against the back wall of a barn. One of her legs was slung over his hip as he worked his hands under her blouse while applying very heated kisses to every part of her he could reach.
That was further than they'd ever gone before and the sound of John clearing his throat directly behind them had made both of them nearly jump out of their skin. They were mortified-all three of them. And Will had been especially contrite.
He felt as if he'd tainted Djaq in some way in the eyes of the others. Even though it had only been John who'd seen them-and he was the member of the gang least likely to ever mention it again-and no matter the fact that Will had always treated her with more respect than any man alive could have done, she knew that he felt horrible about it.
And, truth be told, Djaq wasn't exactly happy about John catching them in such an intimate position either. But, at the same time, she was actually enormously relieved that he'd come along when he had. And she had the sneaking suspicion that Will was too.
After all, if John had happened upon them even a few moments later, who knew what he would have interrupted!
No no. That would simply not do at all. That was when both of them had silently agreed that an extreme lack of privacy, as well as constant interruptions by their friends, might just be a very good thing after all. And things had been relatively tame between them since.
But the incident with John had been weeks ago, and they were now in Marseilles, aboard yet another ship. The final one. The one that would take them right into Acre's port, eventually.
Robin had secured a small cabin for the six of them to share, although Djaq had no idea how he'd managed such a thing given their serious lack of funds. But he'd spoken to the captain and the two had seemed to come to some sort of an agreement. The ship would depart in two days' time and the outlaws would be on board when it did.
So the others had decided to spend their last days on land actually on land.
Knowing that this sea voyage would be far longer and probably rougher than the last, made them all determined to enjoy the earth underfoot while they still could. They would partake of the bustling activity the port town had to offer, camp out for the night, and wouldn't board the ship until they absolutely had to. At least that's what Much, Allan and John had declared. Robin, of course, only spoke when he had to.
Will and Djaq had had every intention of joining their friends. Really they had. In fact, they'd been all set to do just that when the group was making their way merrily down the gangplank. But, for some reason, Djaq had heard herself suggesting to the others that someone should perhaps stay behind to guard some of their bulkier supplies, and she'd just as inexplicably heard Will agreeing.
So that had been that. The others had gone on without them and if any of their friends had thought Will and Djaq staying behind together was either curious, scandalous, or even just the butt of a good joke, they had let it pass without comment. And for that, Djaq was enormously grateful.
And now they were completely and blissfully alone. Really alone, in a way they had never been before-even in Sherwood. And they would be all night. Yet, strangely enough, there was none of the usual kissing and petting going on in the tiny cabin. There were no surprised gasps and no soft mewls of pleasure. In fact, they weren't even talking or holding hands.
They were just sitting there, on the floor.
She had her legs folded in front of her and her hands resting on her knees. Will was leaning against the opposite wall-which, given the size of the cabin, was not very far away from her at all-and his legs were stretched out across the floor. He was watching her intently and whenever she'd look up and catch his eye, he would smile sweetly at her. It was all very...respectable. She might even go so far as to call it chaste.
Except their intentions were anything but.
Djaq could only guess at what Will was thinking, but she knew perfectly well what was on her mind. She knew that she could dress it up any way she liked, but the honest truth of the matter was that she'd decided to stay behind with him today because she wanted him. All of him. She wanted and needed to be with him and she just didn't want to wait any more.
There was simply no reason to. Not really. It was not as if they would ever be able to marry properly anyway. That was forbidden to them and would always remain so.
And although she had been brought up to guard her virtue with as much vigilance and determination as she guarded her very life, she knew those rules simply did not apply with Will.
How could they?
For she was already his in every way that mattered. In some strange way, it felt as if she had always been his. Even long before they'd met. She sometimes had to remind herself that he hadn't always been there, a part of her life from the very start.
But he was here now...and so was she. And he loved her more than his own life. She knew that without even a single doubt.
He would never leave her, never betray her, never grow tired of her and move on to someone else. He would love and protect her and the children they would make together, and they would be a family and spend the rest of their days that way.
And weren't those fears the very reasons a woman had to keep such careful watch over her virtue?
She also knew that she loved him more than she'd ever thought she could love anyone. So rather than something to be fiercely guarded, her body was now something to be shared. With him. And she intended to do just that.
Her heart was racing, just as it did each and every time she'd been alone with him since Nettlestone. She missed his touch, his warm breath on her neck, the way her body responded to his kisses. They'd had far too little contact recently and she needed him badly.
But she didn't know quite how to say all of that to him. And she hadn't really expected she would have to.
She assumed he knew and that he'd been thinking the exact same thing when he'd agreed to spend the night alone with her. After all, wasn't that what men supposedly spent the bulk of their time thinking about, wanting, and trying to get?
While she knew that Will wasn't exactly that type of man, he was still a man and she knew that he had normal, healthy urges just like any other. She'd seen the need simmering behind his eyes and felt the force of his pent-up hunger for her enough times to know the passion he must be holding back.
And if she was feeling the effects of restraint, she could only imagine how difficult it was for him. But she also knew that his love and respect for her outweighed everything else, even his desire.
But there was no further need to hold back, was there? He must be well aware that, after the two of them had been so careful with each other as of late, her sudden and decisive move to spend the night alone with him could only mean one thing.
And yet he was still just sitting there.
Although, in all fairness, so was she. Maybe he was just taking his cue from her, letting her set the pace of their interaction just in case he'd misunderstood her signals. Perhaps he was afraid of moving too fast for her, or of scaring her.
Now that she thought about it, hadn't he always been that way with her? Hadn't he always been patient and considerate, giving her the time and space she needed to figure out what she wanted, then letting her come to him when she was ready? Hadn't that been the entire basis of their relationship up to now? Wasn't that one of the main reasons she'd finally felt safe enough to allow herself to be loved by him in the first place?
So with a deep breath and a determined effort to stop her knees from shaking, she scooted over to where he sat and looked up at him, smiling. She was met with a warm smile in return as she folded into his welcoming arms and laid her head against his chest.
He kissed the top of her head and then rested his cheek against her temple. The sound and feel of his heartbeat went a long way towards calming some of her fears and she leaned up, craning her neck to kiss him firmly on the lips.
He responded immediately and drew her up to him as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. The caress of his tongue and the feel of his hands planted firmly at the small of her back emboldened her further and she lifted up on her knees, trying to press even closer to his body, straddling him. She settled on his lap and leaned into him, winding her arms about his neck and tangling her fingers in his hair.
He grunted softly, deepening the kiss and increasing the pressure of his hands on her back. She loved how secure he made her feel and she let herself get lost a bit in the moment as she ground her hips against him in an effort to get even closer.
But he stopped kissing her immediately and seized her wrists, wrenching her arms from round his neck and holding her out in front of him. He held her firmly in place-just far enough out of reach so that she couldn't kiss him-with a determined force he'd never used with her before. She just looked at him, puzzled.
“Will? What are you-” But she cut off almost instantly when he met her eyes and she saw the conflict there. And the...what? Regret?
“I don't-” he began but stopped, exhaling heavily instead and looking away from her.
What was this? Had she done something wrong? Behaved too impulsively? Been too aggressive? Could it be that he really didn't want her?
She pulled herself out of his grasp and stood up quickly, backing away from him. Her face burned with shame and she suddenly wished for the shadowed sanctuary of the forest. She wanted to hide. She wanted to be alone. Not here, in this too-small room, on this cursed ship, in this god-forsaken land with this man who did not want her!
“No, come here,” he said, on his feet and reaching for her at once. She pushed at him with all her might but he wouldn't back off. “I'm sorry,” he said as he finally succeeded in getting his arms around her despite her best efforts to keep him from doing so.
“Let go of me!” she demanded angrily-hot, shameful tears threatening to spill down her cheeks any second.
“No. Now stop fighting me and just let me explain. Please?” he implored, taking a firm hold of her wrists to keep her from striking out at him.
But she didn't want explanations. She was hurt and embarrassed. He'd rejected her. Will had rejected her. And at a moment like this.
So she continued to struggle against him, frustrated and mildly perplexed at the amount of strength he could muster to keep her in place and still not hurt her.
“Just listen,” he said in what was almost a whisper as he gently eased her back toward the wall. When they reached it, he loosened his grip on her wrists and brought them down to rest at her sides. Then he reached up and took her face gently in his hands, coaxing her to look up at him. “Djaq, I just...I...I want you to be sure about this.”
There was a seriousness in his eyes and his tone that commanded her attention, but she saw that there was love there too. There was always love when he looked at her, so she stilled her struggling and prepared herself to hear him out.
“I am sure about this,” she said defensively. “Or I was,” she added quietly, still feeling slightly bitter and more than a little embarrassed.
“But I want you to be positive.”
“Why would you think that I am not?” she asked, her anger subsiding and morphing into confusion.
“I just don't want you to think you have to. That I...expect this of you.”
She frowned. “I don't think that,” she said firmly. How could she ever possibly think that? He was always so respectful with her and she'd always appreciated it.
She allowed her body to slacken even further, letting him know that she was done fighting him, and he, in turn, softened his stance.
“I know that I've let things get...well, that I've gotten carried away with you at times. I know I shouldn't have, but I just...I've never felt this way, Djaq, and I-”
“I know. Me too,” she cut him off softly, bringing her hand up to rest against his cheek and keeping her eyes locked with his. “But Will, I love you and I...I trust you. We are together. There is no reason for us not to...be together,” she stammered. The words, while heartfelt, were awkward on her tongue.
“But are you s-”
“Do not ask me again if I am sure. I promise you that I am.” she stated.
And then his whole demeanor changed right before her eyes.
“Oh, Djaq,” he breathed, pulling her close to him and burying his face against her shoulder while he gently nuzzled her neck.
The sound of his voice as he said her name-filled with relief, gratitude, and want-set butterflies dancing in her belly and caused tingling heat to make its way down to settle between her thighs.
“I'll make it good for you, I promise,” he whispered huskily against her ear and she was struck with two thoughts at that moment. One was this was likely to be a painful experience for her. Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd known it would be, but she hadn't really considered it until now.
But the second thought was much more unsettling. There was something in the way he spoke the words that told her this would not be a first for him. He'd obviously done this with someone before. Maybe multiple times with multiple someones. It was a sobering and somewhat painful thought.
The possibility had never really occurred to her until now, though she didn't know why it shouldn't have. He was young and healthy, and he was the kind of man whose affections any woman would feel honored to capture.
But she'd never actually seen him with another woman since she'd known him. Not like that. In fact, she didn't think she'd ever seen him look at anyone else with anything even resembling interest or affection. And she realized that, even long before their confession of love, she had rather unconsciously come to consider him hers alone.
She must have tensed and he must have felt it because he leaned back to look at her then as he brought his face down close to hers and said, “I'll be careful, I promise. I'll make sure you feel as little discomfort as possible.”
He obviously assumed her apprehension was regarding the pain she would be facing and she was glad he didn't know the real reason. For she suddenly felt incredibly foolish for her thoughts of a moment before. Of course he was hers alone. This was Will. The man who loved her. The man who made her feel beautiful and happy and free.
She had no idea what he'd done before…or with whom, but she knew with complete certainty that he'd been absolutely faithful to her since the moment he'd begun loving her. And that was all that really mattered.
So she brought her palm up to cup his face and looked deep into his eyes. “I know you will,” she whispered. “I told you, I trust you. Completely.”
This seemed to be about as much as his willpower could take because his lips were on hers at once, sucking and caressing, driving away any lingering doubts or fears she had.
She felt her knees buckle from the force of his passion and she grabbed onto his waist to keep from pulling them both down to the floor.
A deep growl rose in his throat as he backed her against the wall once again and ran his hands down over her sides as he continued devouring her lips. His own lips were soft and warm yet forceful in their exploration and she yielded to them easily. In her excitement she shivered against him, feeling her skin break out in goose-flesh, and she pushed closer to his body, coveting his warmth.
His hands slipped under her blouse and came to rest across her stomach as her own hands clawed at his tunic, searching for the hem. When she found it, she gathered both his outer tunic and his under shirt in her fists and yanked them mercilessly up over his back.
He released her lips breathlessly and stepped back from her enough to allow her to pull his clothing over his head. Then he finished the job himself by freeing his arms and flinging the garment aside, replanting his lips on hers as soon as he'd done so.
Her mind was whirling and her breath came out in short gasps around their frantic kisses. A low moan welled up inside of her as she ran her hands over the too-lean muscles of his now-bare chest. She pressed her own chest against him and felt her nipples peak and harden at the contact.
He must have felt them too, because he slid both his hands under her blouse again and this time she felt them come up slowly to take hold of her breasts. She moaned and shuddered as he caught her nipples between his fingers and lightly tweaked them.
“Oh Will,” she whimpered, breaking the kiss in favor of trailing her tongue across the base of his throat. He lifted his chin in order to give her better access as he groaned deeply and increased the pressure on her nipples.
She was pleased to find that even after so many weeks away from home, there were still traces of the forest on his skin. Wood, leaves, smoke, and English weather were now tinged with the dust from their travels and salt from the sea air. The taste of it as she lapped at his neck drove her absolutely mad with desire.
He was intoxicating! She didn't think she'd ever felt so...so connected to another person and she knew that Will felt it too. For he responded to every movement or sound she made, adjusting the pressure of his touch and the weight of his body against hers accordingly.
She grabbed hold of her shirt and tried to pull it up over her head without breaking contact with him, but it proved impossible. So she stopped kissing his neck and put all her effort into ridding herself of the garment instead.
Will stopped fondling her breasts just long enough to help her and then, as soon as her top was off, his mouth was on one of her nipples and her brain was suddenly nothing but a fuzzy mix of need and pleasure.
He wrapped his arms around her naked waist and pulled her tightly against him. She buried her fingers in his hair as he dragged his hot mouth from one breast to the other, up to her neck, and then back again. Sucking and licking and teasing.
His hands slowly made their way to the waistband of her trousers and a jolt of excitement shot through her whole body. He struggled with the ties for a moment until he loosened the knot and then he just stopped...everything. No kissing or caressing, no more frantic tugging at her trousers.
She opened her eyes, intending to protest, only to find him kneeling in front of her, ready to remove her boots. And as she lifted one foot and then the other to assist him, he looked up at her and smiled.
And that was it...her heart melted. He was so beautiful and he belonged to her! How had she ever managed to capture the heart of such a man?
She dropped to her knees along with him and took his face in her hands. “I love you so much,” she said, her voice cracking a little with emotion, before kissing him so deeply she nearly forgot to breathe.
He returned her kiss eagerly, wrapping his arms around her and slowly taking her backwards with him until he was lying on the floor with her on top of him.
The feeling of her bare upper body pressed against his and his hands moving up and down her back was more than she could take. She reached down, fumbling for the waistband of her trousers, wriggling against him as she eased them down over her hips and bottom, taking her undergarments along.
Will reached down and helped her tug them all the way off, leaving her completely exposed to him for the first time. Then he grabbed her around the waist again, ending their kiss and lifting her body off of him enough so that he could look her up and down. His eyes were dazed and unfocused, his breathing rough and uneven.
She watched him as his eyes traveled over her body, feeling her face burn at the attention. But at the same time, she found herself unable to look away. She sat up higher, leaning back seductively to give him a better view. His face was so intense, his eyes black pools of desire. It thrilled her and made her feel...wanted...needed...powerful.
He ran his hands up and down her entire body, filling her with heat and desire. Then he met her eyes and quickly drew her back down to him, kissing her hard and deeply.
“I love you,” he groaned against her mouth, sounding almost like a man in pain. “I love you, Djaq.”
Then all at once he slung one of his legs over hers, splayed one hand across her back and brought the other down to cradle her backside. He then tried to flip them both over in one fluid motion so that he was on top of her, but he must have miscalculated a bit because instead they ended up toppling over rather gracelessly.
Djaq couldn't help the giggle that escaped her at the look of surprise on Will's face. He'd obviously intended to be very smooth about the whole thing and now looked as though he couldn't quite figure out where he'd gone wrong.
“Oh you think that's funny, do you?” he demanded, but there was a twinkle in his eye that belied his serious tone.
“Oh yes. Very funny,” she quipped.
“Oh yeah?” he challenged, easing himself on top of her bit by bit.
“Yes,” she gasped, her breath hitching in her throat at his slow approach, his nearness.
Then he smiled, “Well I suppose it was a little funny.”
“Oh no,” she giggled again. “It was a lot funny,”
He growled and bent his head to kiss her cheek. “This is supposed to be a very serious matter you know,” he scolded playfully.
“Then perhaps you should stop being so very funny,” she teased.
“Oh yeah?”
She nodded, trying to stifle another giggle.
“Oh I'll show you funny,” he threatened.
“Well you had better show me something, Will Scarlett, because I just realized that I am the only one of us who is naked and I am fairly certain that is not how this is supposed to work,” she answered cheekily, feeling suddenly bolder.
“Hm. You're right about that,” he chuckled. “I'll just do something about that then, shall I?” he added in a husky voice and then leaned down to capture one of her nipples in his mouth.
She inhaled sharply and arched into him, surprised by how quickly the levity of a moment ago had dissolved back into passion.
She felt him kicking off his shoes and then he reached down to unlace his trousers, accidentally brushing her bare thigh as he did so. She hissed, soft and low, and wrapped her arms around his back as he wiggled out of his trousers and settled himself on top of her once again.
He held his weight up on his forearms with his hands planted alongside her shoulders. His stomach and hips were pressed snuggly against hers and one of his legs rested between her legs on the floor. He felt warm and strong, and she felt safe and protected lying there beneath him.
He released her breast and came up to kiss her mouth, shifting his body so that she could now feel the weight of his erection, hot and hard, pressing against her thigh. It startled her a little as it wasn't quite what she had been expecting. She'd thought it would be cold and maybe slippery...kind of like a serpent. But it wasn't that way at all.
She mentally chastised herself and tried to shut down that part of her brain that couldn't help analyzing every sensation as if it were all a part of some larger scientific experiment, and instead gave herself over to his kiss more fully. She ran her hands up and down his back, enjoying the way his chest just barely brushed against her breasts with every breath he took.
He moaned softly, deepening their kiss and shifting his weight over her once again. Then his hand was between their bodies, lightly stroking her inner thigh, and she bucked instinctively. So he repeated the action, this time with longer and more deliberate movements, and she gasped, loving the way it felt, but also a little fearful of the tingling tension that was coiling itself deep within her belly.
This was all so new to her and she tried to remember to breathe as she lost herself in his touch.
Then she let out a loud yelp, taken aback all of a sudden when his hand found its way between her delicate folds.
At once he stopped kissing and touching and raised his head to look down at her. “I'm sorry,” he said quickly, his face and voice laden with worry. “Did...did I hurt you?”
“No,” she answered sheepishly, casting her eyes away in an attempt to hide the mortification she felt over her childish reaction. But when she chanced a look back at him, she saw that he was still studying her intently, looking guilty and concerned.
That's when she realized that he was probably just as nervous about this new step in their relationship as she was. They knew each other so well in so many ways, and yet they were completely unfamiliar with one another when it came to this.
“Really,” she added sincerely. “I was just...surprised.”
She felt her cheeks flame, but she ignored her embarrassment as she reached up to take his face in her palm and pull him down for a kiss.
He hesitated only briefly, perhaps still uncertain whether he'd caused her any discomfort, before giving in and sinking into the kiss completely.
For a long time he just kissed her-soft and slow and deep, breaking away only long enough to gaze at her lovingly before kissing her again.
Then slowly, so slowly, he slid his hand down between them again and touched her. There. And everything else was forgotten.
She could focus on nothing but the delicious feeling of his rough fingers dragging up and down, up and down through her increasingly slick warmth.
She spread her legs as wide as she could manage and pushed her pelvis forward, silently pleading for more.
More contact. More stroking. More heat.
And he complied eagerly, dropping his head to her shoulder and sucking on her neck as he did so.
The combined feeling of his tongue on her neck and his fingers down below made the warm feeling in her belly start to spread.
“Djaq?” he whispered in her ear, his voice ragged and hoarse. “Are-are you ready?”
Oh she was so ready and, clearly, so was he.
“Yes,” she answered breathlessly with a nod, trying to put aside all thoughts of the pain that was to come.
He stopped touching her then and moved to position himself at her entrance. He took a deep breath and then pushed, just a little, before stopping to look down at her face.
She nodded at the question in his eyes, incredibly touched by his concern for her comfort - especially given the difficulty he seemed to be having in holding back. His face was perspiring and his arms and legs were shaking a little from trying to maintain his position and not thrust into her with abandon.
“I'm okay, Will,” she said softly, doing her best to smile through her nervousness so he wouldn't worry.
“Would you tell me if you weren't?” he asked after studying her face for any sign that she wasn't being truthful.
She honestly didn't know if she would. After all, the discomfort was inevitable, and it probably wouldn't last long anyway. So what would be the point of making him feel bad about causing her pain, when she could just as easily grin and bear it without him ever being the wiser.
But it seemed horribly wrong somehow to lie to him when they were in such an intimate position.
“I...I do not know...but...I really am fine. It does not hurt.”
She gave him a little smile and wrapped her arms around his neck, slowly kissing him. Then she braced herself as he pushed into her a little more. Still there was no pain but this time she could feel some resistance and she willed herself to relax and take deep breaths, afraid the next push would be a painful one.
And it was...a little. And the next was even more so. And the next. Until even the tiniest push sent a jagged little twinge shooting up into her belly and down her legs.
But Will did everything he could to take her mind off of it by placing light, gentle kisses along her neck and chest while slowly caressing her nipples with the pads of his fingers. And it helped. A lot.
She closed her eyes and tried her best to focus on his tender attentions, knowing that she was very lucky to have a man who loved her so much. For many women, this experience was far worse, surely. But Will would never take his pleasure at the expense of her pain, and she was once again touched at the amount of self-control he was able to master for her sake.
Eventually, after what felt like a very long time, she felt him inhale deeply and give one final thrust, sending a stabbing pain shooting through her body as he finally pierced her maidenhead. She bit her lip and held her breath until the ache was reduced to a dull throb, and then she released her breath and opened her eyes to find Will staring down at her.
“Are you alright?” he asked, kissing her forehead softly. “Should I go on? Or...do you need a minute?”
Go on? That was not it?
She did not feel like that was the sort of question she could ask him though. Maybe someday it would be, but this experience had already been far too embarrassing.
“Go on,” she answered tentatively, wondering how she was supposed to know when it was actually over.
When he was once again moving inside of her, everything was still a bit sore, but there was now a definite feeling of belonging. Like everything was right. Just as it should be.
Will raised his body higher above her, and began to roll his hips against her in a more fluid rhythm. She found herself watching him in fascination, loving the way he closed his eyes and let the pleasure wash over his face.
He must have really been holding back, because now he was clearly letting go, punctuating each movement with a gasp, a sigh or a moan. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.
She felt foolish for thinking he had reached his release a moment before when, clearly, he was just getting started.
And when he opened his eyes and looked at her, she realized that she no longer felt any discomfort and she wondered when the pain had stopped.
She looked up at him and took a chance at rolling her hips against his, hoping she was doing it right.
He let out a shuddering groan and bent his head to look down between them at where their bodies were joined. She felt herself blush when she realized what he was doing, but also-maybe even more so-it excited her. So she rolled her hips again and reveled in the effect it had on him...and the way that made her feel.
The hot tingling from earlier was back and this time Djaq welcomed it, letting it wrap itself around her and slowly drive her toward...something. She didn't quite know what. But something wonderful and almost close enough to touch...something she needed…badly.
It took a few awkward tries before they were working together on their movements. Once they'd fallen into a steady rhythm, however, Will sank down into her arms and kissed her languidly, pausing only to whisper lovingly in her ear or to trail feather-light kisses across her neck and chest.
She could feel every part of him through every part of her, and she loved the sensation of being completely filled up by him. Every touch, every sound, every kiss made her want to push harder, faster. And the more she did, the more intense the feeling.
Her heart sped up and she was panting and sweating, but she didn't want to stop...she couldn't stop. She slid her hands down his back and tried her best to hold him there as she rocked against him, faster, faster, faster.
“Oh Djaq,” he breathed. “That's it. Just like that. Don't stop.”
His wicked words, the feel of his breath in her ear, his touch, his kiss, his scent, the way he moved over her...it was all just too much.
The blood was rushing through her body and thundering in her ears. Will was saying something, but all she could hear were the words beautiful and mine as she squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on the feel of his body and the way they rocked together.
Her skin was humming as heat and exhilaration and want flooded every part of her. It felt so good...he felt so good...above her, inside her.
And then there was nothing and everything all at the same time and she couldn't be bothered to remember what to do or how to move or even where she was. All she knew, through the haze of pleasure and love, was that she was with Will...and he was grunting against her shoulder and saying her name again and again.
It was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard, but he sounded so very far away, even though he was right there in her arms. And she couldn't quite manage to answer him because every ounce of energy she had was being used by her body to drown her in never-ending warmth and pleasure.
Then, when it was over, she spent several blissful moments just trying to catch her breath and marveling at how so much intensity had now subsided into a few tiny ripples of pleasure here and there. She felt Will's long fingers dragging through her hair and she opened her eyes to find him looking down at her.
“Are you alright?” he asked, still a little breathless himself.
She nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed at how carried away she'd gotten and wondering if it would always be this way...so frighteningly intense, so perfect.
“I'm so sorry I hurt you,” he said quietly, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
“I think that you have more than made up for it,” she teased, smiling up at him.
He chuckled softly and planted more kisses on her face. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Thank you,” she replied. “You know, we will not have many more opportunities to be alone this way for quite some time.”
He shook his head, gently shushing her. “I don't wanna think about that just now,” he said, carefully withdrawing himself from her and rolling over to settle at her back. “Tonight I just wanna hold you.”
“I would like that,” she answered with a yawn, snuggling back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him. “I love you, Will,” she added when they'd both gotten comfortable and he'd reached for his bedroll to toss over their sweaty bodies.
“I love you,” he whispered in her ear as he lay his head against her shoulder.
Djaq closed her eyes, lulled by the sound of Will's breathing, and tried not to think about all that was to come. But it was impossible to block out.
She was returning to a home that was no longer hers, to save the life of the king who had destroyed it. It was frightening and confusing and she didn't want to think about it.
Right now, she was snuggled into the arms of the man she loved. It was more than she'd ever hoped to have and she would not be greedy. She would not dwell on tomorrow with all of its unknowns. She would enjoy what Allah had given her today and let tomorrow come on its own, just as it always did.
Besides, the weight of Will's body at her back as he slept was all the assurance she needed. So she cast her fears aside for now and let the sound of him softly snoring and the feel of his warm breath on her neck carry her off to a peaceful slumber.