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Mar 05, 2011 10:55

I failed my mid-term exam in cataloging. I am certain of it. It's a pretty picky subject, not something you can just make up if you aren't 100% sure. And for almost every question, I had no clue. I had all spring break to study, but of course I did no such thing! So it had been 2 weeks since I had even looked at my cataloging stuff. Incorrectly, I assumed since I did well on the other quizzes that this one would be fine. But it was worth 30%, not 10% like the others. So I did well on the wrong ones. There is no chance to make it up, since that exam marked the end of Dewey Decimal -- next class we begin LOC. Getting the exam back will only be interesting to see exactly how miserably I did. A pass is 60%. I'll cross my fingers and hope she'll be generous, but as it sits now I feel I more likely got a 40% or so.

More school woes... I have three projects all due in two weeks. One of them is the second part, and my teacher wants me to re-do the first part. Then after I re-do the first part, I have to do exercises from chapters 1-7 in our html text book, because you can't do the project without that info. And that's just one. Thursday was an awful, awful day, and since then I have this intense anxiety about everything school related. Thinking about those assignments leaves me ragged. Then thinking about where I'll be sent for my work placement and whether or not it will be horrible or I'll make a bad impression. Then worrying how I will possibly have time to make a portfolio. Then worrying about being jobless and having to find work and not finding it and what the future will hold. Every point in the future just seems like a worse position, like a downhill road with every stop getting more awful. If I try to ignore those thoughts and stay in the moment I'd temporarily okay, but that's why I failed my exam, I kept pushing it away because it was too anxiety laden. I feel suffocated, on all sides, by invisible walls, pushing closer and closer in while I struggle to get air.
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