petty fights
Urg, I was feeling down today, and then something happened to make me feel even more like shit.
So I went to do my laundry, and someone's finished load was still sitting in the washer. It was weird, heavy carpet-y kind of stuff, and it was heavy and still wet. But, the other person wasn't there, it was turned off, so I took their load out and starting loading mine. The woman came in as I was doing this, and seemed perturbed by her laundry. I asked if she had another load to do, and she said no but was still complaining about her laundry. I offered to not do my other laundry and said she could come back after mine was finished, because the soap and some stuff was already in there, but she said no no. Anyway, I come back 25 minutes later, and she left a letter in my laundry basket, basically saying how she would *never* take someone else's wet laundry out of the washer, that I was rude and inconsiderate, and that because of me it she had to use the dryer more than she planned. I get it, if I hadn't shown up to do laundry, she would have come in, decided she needed to wash her stuff a second time or whatever, so I interrupted her and inconvenienced her. I was shocked and really hurt by her angry letter basically accusing me of being a bad person.
While waiting for my laundry to finish, I have probably written 15 different letters to leave her, some angry, some apologetic. I didn't leave any of them. I felt I should really have knocked on her door and talked to her directly, but honestly, I didn't want to face her. It really feels so stupid. I guess she is saying that I should have been more considerate to her. We have one washer for the whole building. And she didn't speak up when I was there. Instead she was all passive aggressive and left me an angry letter. The only time I'll likely see her will be at condo meetings, and by that time we will both have cemented in our minds what happened that I doubt she'd believe anything I told her.
The thing is, I've already spent too much time focused on this. I am trying to forget and pretend it didn't happen. But I really feel like I've got psychic claw marks on my soul from this incident. I go from feeling like I am a terrible person, to being defensive and angry. And there is nothing I can really do about the whole thing now. I just don't think I am going to forget this for a very long time. Which is too bad, because its laundry, just one of many stupid chores that everyone has to do every week. But somehow I feel like I don't want to have to interact with anyone. Tomorrow is monday and I have to go to school again. I am not happy there, and I am not making any friends there either. I just hate interacting with people and this is a good example as to why. All I was trying to do today was get a little more headway into all the things that are piled up for me to do. And somehow because of that two people are hurt and upset. Some days I just never want to go outside. It's all my fault, because I decided to go outside today. Basically, I was inconsiderate of her feelings, so she hurt mine.
So I went to do my laundry, and someone's finished load was still sitting in the washer. It was weird, heavy carpet-y kind of stuff, and it was heavy and still wet. But, the other person wasn't there, it was turned off, so I took their load out and starting loading mine. The woman came in as I was doing this, and seemed perturbed by her laundry. I asked if she had another load to do, and she said no but was still complaining about her laundry. I offered to not do my other laundry and said she could come back after mine was finished, because the soap and some stuff was already in there, but she said no no. Anyway, I come back 25 minutes later, and she left a letter in my laundry basket, basically saying how she would *never* take someone else's wet laundry out of the washer, that I was rude and inconsiderate, and that because of me it she had to use the dryer more than she planned. I get it, if I hadn't shown up to do laundry, she would have come in, decided she needed to wash her stuff a second time or whatever, so I interrupted her and inconvenienced her. I was shocked and really hurt by her angry letter basically accusing me of being a bad person.
While waiting for my laundry to finish, I have probably written 15 different letters to leave her, some angry, some apologetic. I didn't leave any of them. I felt I should really have knocked on her door and talked to her directly, but honestly, I didn't want to face her. It really feels so stupid. I guess she is saying that I should have been more considerate to her. We have one washer for the whole building. And she didn't speak up when I was there. Instead she was all passive aggressive and left me an angry letter. The only time I'll likely see her will be at condo meetings, and by that time we will both have cemented in our minds what happened that I doubt she'd believe anything I told her.
The thing is, I've already spent too much time focused on this. I am trying to forget and pretend it didn't happen. But I really feel like I've got psychic claw marks on my soul from this incident. I go from feeling like I am a terrible person, to being defensive and angry. And there is nothing I can really do about the whole thing now. I just don't think I am going to forget this for a very long time. Which is too bad, because its laundry, just one of many stupid chores that everyone has to do every week. But somehow I feel like I don't want to have to interact with anyone. Tomorrow is monday and I have to go to school again. I am not happy there, and I am not making any friends there either. I just hate interacting with people and this is a good example as to why. All I was trying to do today was get a little more headway into all the things that are piled up for me to do. And somehow because of that two people are hurt and upset. Some days I just never want to go outside. It's all my fault, because I decided to go outside today. Basically, I was inconsiderate of her feelings, so she hurt mine.