pointless
PG
(an universe in which jongin is actually younger than little sehun)
sehun barely speaks.
A/N: it's not only the title is pointless, but also the story. my highest level of mindfucking myself.
oh sehun will never forget the day kim jongin walked through his door and danced his way into the bedroom like it was the most natural thing in this world. the blonde boy sat on the mattress which sehun calls a bed, getting rid of his running shoes with a half bored and half exhausted expression then completely collapsed, taking most of the space to lie down. his back came in contact with the sheet and sehun received a hallucination that kim jongin will never raise himself from his inappropriate bed again,
he didn't say anything, because it was pointless to do so especially when jongin's uniform shirt's collar shoved up to the base of his neck although two buttons were down, making him look somehow wrecked but the thin sheen of sweat was slipping this thought into his mind that jongin really glowed under the dying light of early sunset through his old window. its wings were croaking gently and sehun drank in the sight of jongin shifting to get his sweating forehead closer to the electric fan, enjoying it like a cat after a good play time with everything in the yard. he was about to mind jongin that it could get him sick, but it was pointless again especially when kim jongin was on his bed, humming some tunes sehun couldn't recognize since they had different tastes in music. almost nothing mattered.
at one point when jongin thought he had had enough of taking up things sehun had, he rose from the sunken mattress and shifted closer to sehun sitting on the floor, taking a good look of the older dwelling in crochetting; something like a sock for indoor use in winter. sehun guessed something had to be really wrong in jongin's mind then, because they only knew each other for a month and that was the first time kim jongin was here in his personal territory and the reason of his visit was just jongin having felt like paying one to his hying and sehun only needed to be free for the situation to happen. because kim jongin decided to kiss him after pulling sehun closer by his hair which should be considered as rude, but screw it because it felt nice. screw the sock, because it was barely autumn.
sehun wanted to ask why, but it was pointless because he didn't think it should be a need to know the answer, so sehun sighed into the kiss, unable to hide his tenseness well. he could feel the other grinning against his worrying lips, like nothing mattered, but one month did.
kim jongin got into a fight with his classmate.
sehun sighs, just for acting with the younger's head teacher. a handshake and promises and he's secretly nudging jongin to bow and leave for home.
"it was luck I didn't beat him during activity time." jongin says, a corner of his lips perks up beautifully and sehun smiles back his best. "probably I should go for the back alley next time." he adds. sehun brings him down by wrapping his arms around the other's neck half threateningly and half enjoying the idea because he used to be like the boy at least once, years ago. but that doesn't mean jongin should repeat it, his eyes say, and the younger gives him an obeying nod.
why he himself is here sehun wanted to ask, but it's pointless as ever. they share the same high school, same head teacher, it's not a lie that sehun knows jongin and his family for a while now so it fits that he can take the boy out of the detention room to home. coincidence is how it spells. sometimes sehun still finds himself wondering how such a tiny connection of high school could bring him to jongin, also brought them to here at the moment, jongin being entrusted to him but all he does is taking up more things than sehun expected.
"I won't ask you to get me out next time. I promise." jongin tears his arms which are slacking down on his shoulder away, but leans in for a kiss right when they turned around a corner behind the building. sehun is about to step away, but he recalls that jongin will never act that recklessly to show his affection anywhere possible to be seen, so he sighs and lets the boy have his way.
"why do you always sigh?" the boy mutters, lips keep on caressing his. jongin's eyes say bored and uninterested but sehun knows his gaze is directing at his soul. eventually jongin softens as if he knows what sehun wants to reply. something like it's his nature and he doesn't know what to do first or he's just tense and it's not like sehun sighs every single time they kiss which is like a fact.
"silent. you. most of the time." jongin pulls away, scratching the back of his neck confusingly, head bowed and sehun swears he's about to say something, or assure the boy by away he'll figure out soon because he doesn't like, he doesn't want to leave jongin being like this. but the boy is smiling again, and sehun swallows down something he's not sure of. he has seen that smile way too many times, that lovely one but has him wondering, pondering, never peaceful. "it's okay, let's go home."
home suddenly feels so far away.
sunset is long gone and they're settled on the couch. basically everything jongin needs is scattered around the place, taking their seats on worn wooden floor or playing on the edge of some surfaces, any that locates higher than the ground. in sehun's lap laid a Spongebob cushion and rested jongin's head. Battle Los Angeles is on StarMovies again, when a soldier stabs stabs stabs an alien corpse to find out the weak point which kills the foreign army from outside the earth, jongin turns to look up at sehun, remaining silent until the older notices and takes a look.
his eyes ask what's the matter, jongin knows. he has become way too good at reading the older like a book, excellent to the point he doesn't feel right with himself. but he can't help asking, "do you ever speak?"
he never means to offend sehun, and sehun knows but crap it doesn't sound right at all does it? of course sehun does speak, just not that regularly, or evilly speaking he's near to mute himself. jongin reads the surprise and the slight pain and the effort to seek for a reason that could motivate jongin's question in his eyes. but there are like millions of them, and jongin feels terribly guilty to shove sehun into the dark sea of excuses and make him look for a needle which may be the key for whatever is stuck between them, but jongin tosses it to the back of his mind. he ignores the movie, instead ducks further into sehun's torso and locks the older still for the sake of his sleep.
"why did you fall in love with me?" jongin asks all of a sudden, throwing his PSP aside. sehun turns around from his writing desk, the little cactus in bright red holder stares at jongin over the frame of the laptop and sehun's bony arm. jongin thinks he saw the redness furrows its brows in a sarcasm, wow people need verbal statements more than actions and it's such a bad luck sehunnie has none of the first.
jongin thought he expected this, he even prepared reactions for possible reactions from sehun but when the older faces him, lips pursing in consideration and eyes blinking in wonder, his mind goes blank for a moment and drifts back to their early days when sehun allows him to read what he wrote. sehun had known him for longer than he knew. love started from the sight. he put the feelings in his writings and had been waiting for it to sink down until life turned and let them meet, let jongin the curious child grab the chance and find out why it felt so strange sehun had to turn up in his life.
jongin learned that love doesn't last forever, sehun wrote. a couple of years at most. like all of them out there sehun fell for his appearance first. the golden boy sehun refers to him. but in a slice of a moment things turned deeper and deeper like a man falling, so sehun is scared of how things will fade. his fright took away the urge to speak up, to make sure about something although the love jongin sees in his eyes goes infinite and it all contradicts so much that hurts.
it was nowhere near logical for jongin to came to sehun that day, allowing himself into the space of oh sehun where he lived and breathed and thought of jongin under the light of sunset. you don't show up surprisingly at the door of someone who secretly liked you. unless you liked him back. so you might kiss him like jongin did. sehun looks kissable concentrating on something so he reached out and tasted love, a shy one. different, and difference may cause addiction.
ah, it feels good having sehun sleeping soundly on his own ruffled sheet in jongin's shape too.
it's no longer a prior to know the answer. when jongin is finally back on earth, sehun is still there on his chair, lips now slightly opened in the preparation to say something but it's alright if he swallows things down again. "you know what? you don't need to... verbally explain it. I know. actually, nevermi-"
"it was your smile. lips' corners when ever you reward people for amusing you. nothing special or spiritual, but... yeah." sehun mumbles in one go, and he looks flustered finishing the sentence. he quickly resumes working as jongin is frozen. the longest he has ever heard, and it was about them not anyone else. quiet shocks run though the younger and jongin feels like exploding. the answer is right there sehun has it and oh sehun let it out kim jongin has finally done something right.
he wants to throw himself off the bed and clutch onto sehun until the older has to speak more - begging sounds good - but jongin makes a mental note instead, to lock sehun on the bed as long as possible once the laptop goes shut down.
jongin is leaning on his car, smoking his cigarettes and occasionally humming to his music which he never did before.
"your eyes."
he shoots questioning look, but his heart no longer has to slack down to find a trace of yearning for a verbal answer in jongin's expression.
"they're the best, you know, as you can't hide things from me." jongin flashes his teeth in a cheeky grin. sehun chuckles, eyes shut, heart gently squeezed and mentally jumps from its natural position. love is like death to oh sehun, but he guesses he's okay with that.
"what are you thinking now?"
"... how you're here."
"you're here that I'm here." jongin leans in, burying his young face and warming hands into sehun's hair and across his jaw. his breaths are as hot as steams and pale smokes ghosting all over sehun's soul. he squirms.
(an universe in which jongin is actually younger than little sehun)
sehun barely speaks.
A/N: it's not only the title is pointless, but also the story. my highest level of mindfucking myself.
oh sehun will never forget the day kim jongin walked through his door and danced his way into the bedroom like it was the most natural thing in this world. the blonde boy sat on the mattress which sehun calls a bed, getting rid of his running shoes with a half bored and half exhausted expression then completely collapsed, taking most of the space to lie down. his back came in contact with the sheet and sehun received a hallucination that kim jongin will never raise himself from his inappropriate bed again,
he didn't say anything, because it was pointless to do so especially when jongin's uniform shirt's collar shoved up to the base of his neck although two buttons were down, making him look somehow wrecked but the thin sheen of sweat was slipping this thought into his mind that jongin really glowed under the dying light of early sunset through his old window. its wings were croaking gently and sehun drank in the sight of jongin shifting to get his sweating forehead closer to the electric fan, enjoying it like a cat after a good play time with everything in the yard. he was about to mind jongin that it could get him sick, but it was pointless again especially when kim jongin was on his bed, humming some tunes sehun couldn't recognize since they had different tastes in music. almost nothing mattered.
at one point when jongin thought he had had enough of taking up things sehun had, he rose from the sunken mattress and shifted closer to sehun sitting on the floor, taking a good look of the older dwelling in crochetting; something like a sock for indoor use in winter. sehun guessed something had to be really wrong in jongin's mind then, because they only knew each other for a month and that was the first time kim jongin was here in his personal territory and the reason of his visit was just jongin having felt like paying one to his hying and sehun only needed to be free for the situation to happen. because kim jongin decided to kiss him after pulling sehun closer by his hair which should be considered as rude, but screw it because it felt nice. screw the sock, because it was barely autumn.
sehun wanted to ask why, but it was pointless because he didn't think it should be a need to know the answer, so sehun sighed into the kiss, unable to hide his tenseness well. he could feel the other grinning against his worrying lips, like nothing mattered, but one month did.
kim jongin got into a fight with his classmate.
sehun sighs, just for acting with the younger's head teacher. a handshake and promises and he's secretly nudging jongin to bow and leave for home.
"it was luck I didn't beat him during activity time." jongin says, a corner of his lips perks up beautifully and sehun smiles back his best. "probably I should go for the back alley next time." he adds. sehun brings him down by wrapping his arms around the other's neck half threateningly and half enjoying the idea because he used to be like the boy at least once, years ago. but that doesn't mean jongin should repeat it, his eyes say, and the younger gives him an obeying nod.
why he himself is here sehun wanted to ask, but it's pointless as ever. they share the same high school, same head teacher, it's not a lie that sehun knows jongin and his family for a while now so it fits that he can take the boy out of the detention room to home. coincidence is how it spells. sometimes sehun still finds himself wondering how such a tiny connection of high school could bring him to jongin, also brought them to here at the moment, jongin being entrusted to him but all he does is taking up more things than sehun expected.
"I won't ask you to get me out next time. I promise." jongin tears his arms which are slacking down on his shoulder away, but leans in for a kiss right when they turned around a corner behind the building. sehun is about to step away, but he recalls that jongin will never act that recklessly to show his affection anywhere possible to be seen, so he sighs and lets the boy have his way.
"why do you always sigh?" the boy mutters, lips keep on caressing his. jongin's eyes say bored and uninterested but sehun knows his gaze is directing at his soul. eventually jongin softens as if he knows what sehun wants to reply. something like it's his nature and he doesn't know what to do first or he's just tense and it's not like sehun sighs every single time they kiss which is like a fact.
"silent. you. most of the time." jongin pulls away, scratching the back of his neck confusingly, head bowed and sehun swears he's about to say something, or assure the boy by away he'll figure out soon because he doesn't like, he doesn't want to leave jongin being like this. but the boy is smiling again, and sehun swallows down something he's not sure of. he has seen that smile way too many times, that lovely one but has him wondering, pondering, never peaceful. "it's okay, let's go home."
home suddenly feels so far away.
sunset is long gone and they're settled on the couch. basically everything jongin needs is scattered around the place, taking their seats on worn wooden floor or playing on the edge of some surfaces, any that locates higher than the ground. in sehun's lap laid a Spongebob cushion and rested jongin's head. Battle Los Angeles is on StarMovies again, when a soldier stabs stabs stabs an alien corpse to find out the weak point which kills the foreign army from outside the earth, jongin turns to look up at sehun, remaining silent until the older notices and takes a look.
his eyes ask what's the matter, jongin knows. he has become way too good at reading the older like a book, excellent to the point he doesn't feel right with himself. but he can't help asking, "do you ever speak?"
he never means to offend sehun, and sehun knows but crap it doesn't sound right at all does it? of course sehun does speak, just not that regularly, or evilly speaking he's near to mute himself. jongin reads the surprise and the slight pain and the effort to seek for a reason that could motivate jongin's question in his eyes. but there are like millions of them, and jongin feels terribly guilty to shove sehun into the dark sea of excuses and make him look for a needle which may be the key for whatever is stuck between them, but jongin tosses it to the back of his mind. he ignores the movie, instead ducks further into sehun's torso and locks the older still for the sake of his sleep.
"why did you fall in love with me?" jongin asks all of a sudden, throwing his PSP aside. sehun turns around from his writing desk, the little cactus in bright red holder stares at jongin over the frame of the laptop and sehun's bony arm. jongin thinks he saw the redness furrows its brows in a sarcasm, wow people need verbal statements more than actions and it's such a bad luck sehunnie has none of the first.
jongin thought he expected this, he even prepared reactions for possible reactions from sehun but when the older faces him, lips pursing in consideration and eyes blinking in wonder, his mind goes blank for a moment and drifts back to their early days when sehun allows him to read what he wrote. sehun had known him for longer than he knew. love started from the sight. he put the feelings in his writings and had been waiting for it to sink down until life turned and let them meet, let jongin the curious child grab the chance and find out why it felt so strange sehun had to turn up in his life.
jongin learned that love doesn't last forever, sehun wrote. a couple of years at most. like all of them out there sehun fell for his appearance first. the golden boy sehun refers to him. but in a slice of a moment things turned deeper and deeper like a man falling, so sehun is scared of how things will fade. his fright took away the urge to speak up, to make sure about something although the love jongin sees in his eyes goes infinite and it all contradicts so much that hurts.
it was nowhere near logical for jongin to came to sehun that day, allowing himself into the space of oh sehun where he lived and breathed and thought of jongin under the light of sunset. you don't show up surprisingly at the door of someone who secretly liked you. unless you liked him back. so you might kiss him like jongin did. sehun looks kissable concentrating on something so he reached out and tasted love, a shy one. different, and difference may cause addiction.
ah, it feels good having sehun sleeping soundly on his own ruffled sheet in jongin's shape too.
it's no longer a prior to know the answer. when jongin is finally back on earth, sehun is still there on his chair, lips now slightly opened in the preparation to say something but it's alright if he swallows things down again. "you know what? you don't need to... verbally explain it. I know. actually, nevermi-"
"it was your smile. lips' corners when ever you reward people for amusing you. nothing special or spiritual, but... yeah." sehun mumbles in one go, and he looks flustered finishing the sentence. he quickly resumes working as jongin is frozen. the longest he has ever heard, and it was about them not anyone else. quiet shocks run though the younger and jongin feels like exploding. the answer is right there sehun has it and oh sehun let it out kim jongin has finally done something right.
he wants to throw himself off the bed and clutch onto sehun until the older has to speak more - begging sounds good - but jongin makes a mental note instead, to lock sehun on the bed as long as possible once the laptop goes shut down.
jongin is leaning on his car, smoking his cigarettes and occasionally humming to his music which he never did before.
"your eyes."
he shoots questioning look, but his heart no longer has to slack down to find a trace of yearning for a verbal answer in jongin's expression.
"they're the best, you know, as you can't hide things from me." jongin flashes his teeth in a cheeky grin. sehun chuckles, eyes shut, heart gently squeezed and mentally jumps from its natural position. love is like death to oh sehun, but he guesses he's okay with that.
"what are you thinking now?"
"... how you're here."
"you're here that I'm here." jongin leans in, burying his young face and warming hands into sehun's hair and across his jaw. his breaths are as hot as steams and pale smokes ghosting all over sehun's soul. he squirms.