(no subject)
I'll try to make my next entries in english, so more people can read it XD But, my english is not too good, so please excuse me for my mistakes (or, if you want, correct me XD).
Here we go.
And once again, I cant't stand my father. I've been at my parent's house just one day ago, and I can't stand it anymore, I want to come back to Murcia. Trying to reason with him is almost impossible. I can't tell him to speak a bit lower because loud sounds bother me, but he can tell me to quit my music because he doesn't like it. And I have to swallow his cigarette smoke, and if I don't want to do it, I have to go to another room. And he knows that I have to be right here because there isn't another place in that house to make my homework (if only I had my computer in my old bedroom... but it's in Murcia).
Yargh... and I have to be here until monday >_<
/No more complains about my father
Lately I've been feeling a bit sad. A mixture of missing things (and people) and thinking that I just can't do anything right at school.
I miss Eneko (and I feel stupid for this... dammit, he's just a doll!). I made so much things before being able to buy him, then spent one month with him, and after that, sold him... Now that I have again the money to recover him, I have to wait for Luts to send the fucking doll to me ò_ó. And, to be realist, I know I will not have him before Salón del Manga. And I miss him so much it hurts my heart, even if he is just a doll he is my little kitten and I want him here right now U_U...
In the last few days I've been missing "him" too. Fuck, I didn't have news from him since... four fucking years. And I know I will never have, but even with all this.... I can't forget him. I tried again and again, I tried not to think in him, I tried not to look for him everywhere, but I couldn't. He is so deep inside my heart that is even a part of me. And I can't tell my friends because half of them didn't know about him, and other half are just far away to talk to... I know I need Iván, the only one who knows all I ever think, and all I feel for "him" , but Madrid is so far... I wish I could tell him to come here right now, tell him "I need to talk with you like we used to do when you where here, in Torrevieja, I need to hugh you and forget everything, forget even him for a moment", but once again, this is another thing I just can't do.
Fuck, fuck, fuck...
Time to talk about school, heh... I don't know if I will be able to pass that year, sometimes I feel that it just surpass me, that I can't do what I am suposed to do at class. I'm not good at drawing, doesn't matter how hard I try it. I know, as Ken told me, that if I keep trying and drawing I'll be better with time... but it's difficult to think that way when something just don't come out well. I think sometimes I should just stop thinking >_<
And last, but no less important, there is another little thing that annoy me and put me in a sad mood. Maybe people can see as stupid or childish, but everytime I see some Miyavi vid, I become sad for the only reason that I can't understand him. Yeah, that's all. I don't know japanese and I can't understand what Miyavi says, and this make me feel sad and impotent.
Oh my god, this entry was so long... fortunately, my mother is telling me about go away to take a walk, and I think it will be good for me and my mood. So, I will finish this telling just one more thing: don't kick me for being so emo! XD I don't use to be that way, but sometimes I need to relieve myself that way.
I'll come back soon (I hope >_< and maybe, with Eneko!)
/ALma (I can't write japanese characters with my mother's laptop, I don't know why ;___; )
Here we go.
And once again, I cant't stand my father. I've been at my parent's house just one day ago, and I can't stand it anymore, I want to come back to Murcia. Trying to reason with him is almost impossible. I can't tell him to speak a bit lower because loud sounds bother me, but he can tell me to quit my music because he doesn't like it. And I have to swallow his cigarette smoke, and if I don't want to do it, I have to go to another room. And he knows that I have to be right here because there isn't another place in that house to make my homework (if only I had my computer in my old bedroom... but it's in Murcia).
Yargh... and I have to be here until monday >_<
/No more complains about my father
Lately I've been feeling a bit sad. A mixture of missing things (and people) and thinking that I just can't do anything right at school.
I miss Eneko (and I feel stupid for this... dammit, he's just a doll!). I made so much things before being able to buy him, then spent one month with him, and after that, sold him... Now that I have again the money to recover him, I have to wait for Luts to send the fucking doll to me ò_ó. And, to be realist, I know I will not have him before Salón del Manga. And I miss him so much it hurts my heart, even if he is just a doll he is my little kitten and I want him here right now U_U...
In the last few days I've been missing "him" too. Fuck, I didn't have news from him since... four fucking years. And I know I will never have, but even with all this.... I can't forget him. I tried again and again, I tried not to think in him, I tried not to look for him everywhere, but I couldn't. He is so deep inside my heart that is even a part of me. And I can't tell my friends because half of them didn't know about him, and other half are just far away to talk to... I know I need Iván, the only one who knows all I ever think, and all I feel for "him" , but Madrid is so far... I wish I could tell him to come here right now, tell him "I need to talk with you like we used to do when you where here, in Torrevieja, I need to hugh you and forget everything, forget even him for a moment", but once again, this is another thing I just can't do.
Fuck, fuck, fuck...
Time to talk about school, heh... I don't know if I will be able to pass that year, sometimes I feel that it just surpass me, that I can't do what I am suposed to do at class. I'm not good at drawing, doesn't matter how hard I try it. I know, as Ken told me, that if I keep trying and drawing I'll be better with time... but it's difficult to think that way when something just don't come out well. I think sometimes I should just stop thinking >_<
And last, but no less important, there is another little thing that annoy me and put me in a sad mood. Maybe people can see as stupid or childish, but everytime I see some Miyavi vid, I become sad for the only reason that I can't understand him. Yeah, that's all. I don't know japanese and I can't understand what Miyavi says, and this make me feel sad and impotent.
Oh my god, this entry was so long... fortunately, my mother is telling me about go away to take a walk, and I think it will be good for me and my mood. So, I will finish this telling just one more thing: don't kick me for being so emo! XD I don't use to be that way, but sometimes I need to relieve myself that way.
I'll come back soon (I hope >_< and maybe, with Eneko!)
/ALma (I can't write japanese characters with my mother's laptop, I don't know why ;___; )