Jul 28, 2005 09:11
it hurts so bad.
i honestly feel like he doesnt even think about it. he says he teries not to think about it and wow does he do a good job at it. i dont even think he thinks of even me from time to time. i wonder if he even misses me. he wont even tell me if he does or doesnt. i mean there are no signs of these things. NONE. it hurts. i feel like a chumnk of me has been ripped out. im back wehre i started, haveing an empty space in me. its amazing i can feel that in less than one day.
i mean over the break we had hed call and say he misses me and that hes htinking of me. the only time hes called is to verify about his cell phones rebate. we talked online last night and i mean from that hes gotta kno im not taking it well and yet, he still didnt call to check up.
i cant even begin to think of how to put it in words on hwo i feel hes taking this too well. that he doesnt think about it. i honestly dont kno how to put that pain in words.
i wonder what he'll say to his next girlfriend......will it be the same sweet nothings hed say to me, leaving me anything but special??? thatd mean he wasnt really in love wouldnt it? i wonder what girls hes seen lately and thought about fucking. hes probably looking at girls ad thinking wow im happy im single again i fool around with mor ethan oine girl.
i feel so empty.
dead.