The House of Cards | NC17 | The Devil Wears Prada (AU) | Co-written with Kitnkabootle
Title: The House of Cards
Authors: kitnkabootle and UbiquitousMixie
Rating: M/NC-17
Word Count: 39,970
Summary: "Welcome to the mysteriously queer tale none too welcome for the delicate or faint of heart. This is dark and twisted story about a young woman on her quest to self-discovery. Set in the eerie world of a traveling Sideshow, come hear the tales of freaks and fables, of friends and foes! Feast your eyes on the extraordinary as you leave the ordinary outside! It's all yours, ladies and gents, if you'll be so kind as to come this way! But beware! Once you've entered, there's no easy way out. Mind your step and mind your heart as you step inside The House of Cards."
Disclaimer: All characters resembling those of the novel/movie The Devil Wears Prada belong to Lauren Weisberger and 20th Century Fox. Everything else belongs to our twisted minds.
Dedication: A hopefully very happy belated birthday to Dragonwine
Authors' Notes:
kitnkabootle: So who's idea was this anyways?
ubiquitousmixie: Does it matter? Either way, it was genius.
kitnkabootle: Genius... and long. Very, very long.
ubiquitousmixie: But it was so much fun. Who knew when we decided to write a fic for our dear friend dragonwine that it would amount to something so...epic?
kitnkabootle: I'm sure I didn't know! I think, if I can recall correctly - a certain someone, not naming any names *points* was the one that said (while we were choosing our gift) that there was nothing better than a birthday erection.
ubiquitousmixie: Hey! Okay, so maybe I can't deny that...but it's true, isn't it? And I have to give us credit for actually giving it plot.
kitnkabootle: I know! A real, bonafide plot! A plot we actually had to... *gasps* research for! But just think, if we ever want to join a carnival, we know all the lingo.
ubiquitousmixie: We're freaks anyway, so we'll fit right in. (says the girl with the actual birth defect...)
kitnkabootle: Just cause you haven't seen my tail, doesn't mean it's not there.
ubiquitousmixie: *looks under your skirt*
kitnkabootle: *swats* Don't get fresh with me, sir! This is Dragonwine's birthday! Fondle him!
ubiquitousmixie: Well, since we couldn't fondle him or jump lewdly out of a giant birthday cake, at least we could do the next best thing and fondle his brain. Two lovely ladies offering porn WITH plot? What could be better? (I do have a birthday coming up soon, you know...*exaggerated wink*)
kitnkabootle: Me too!! Me too!! Ironically, the same day. Hey... wait a minute. Is it possible that we were somehow born as conjoined twins and separated at birth only to find one another and write this tale together as some sort of metaphorical moment where we both become joined again?
ubiquitousmixie: Man...I wish. Conjoined twins are identical and unfortunately, I don't look a thing like you...
kitnkabootle: Well there's that and you know, the whole - I would have to have been born a few years ahead of you. That would have made it awfully uncomfortable on our mother, now wouldn't it?
ubiquitousmixie: This is true. Anyway, I think it's also pretty awesome that, in our combined writing, you can't tell where one of us ends and the other begins.
kitnkabootle: Precisely! So without further ado, many birthday wishes to dragon from two of his favorite ladies!
ubiquitousmixie: *throws confetti* And, with any hope, his love of AU stories will stretch out onto the rest of the community.
kitnkabootle: We give you, drum roll please...
~The House of Cards~
And, for your amusement, please follow the cut below to see the graphics we've made to accompany our story.
Graphics by kitnkabootle:
Graphics by UbiquitousMixie:
Let us know what you think!