The Best and Worst of Seattle | PG13 | 30 Rock
Title: The Best and Worst of Seattle
Prompt: Liz has to go to Seattle to find the new cast member and injures herself. Callie becomes an impromptu applicant for the job with her biting sarcasm as she treats our favorite clumsy comedy writer for her broken bones.
Challenge: 100 Fic Challenge (#37)
Fandom: Jack/Liz, 30 Rock, slight mention of Liz/Callie, Grey’s Anatomy
Requested by: mrschimpf
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 907
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were. Please don't sue.
Author's Note: I sort of butchered this prompt and did what I wanted with it. It wasn’t intentional; I had an idea in my head and ran with it. It was meant to be a crossover, but I only faintly mention the other character. Knowing Grey's Anatomy is not required to follow this story. I love cranky!Liz and couldn’t help but take full advantage of her in an injured state. Let me know what you think!
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Liz yelped in pain as Jack helped her onto the bed in the emergency room and snatched back the arm he was helpfully holding. “Watch it, buddy,” she said with a grimace. “I’m a soon-to-be invalid here…at least let me enjoy what remaining time I have with my arm.”
“They are not going to amputate your arm, Lemon.”
“How do you know? I don’t remember seeing M.D. attached to your name.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Pain makes you grouchy. Remind me to ask for extra vicodin.”
“Extra? They haven’t given me any to begin with.”
“I meant for me. It’s going to be a long flight back to New York.”
Liz rolled her eyes and coddled her arm. “Seattle is stupid.”
“Are you blaming Seattle for your little shower mishap?”
Liz sighed. “You’re right, Jack. I should be blaming Comfort Inn. Not very comfortable, is it?”
“This would have never happened if you hadn’t been reaching out of your shower for the open bag of Lays on the sink.”
Liz pouted. “I got hungry.”
“You couldn’t wait until you rinsed the shampoo from your hair?”
“No!”
Jack gave a stern, disapproving look. “Your over-active stomach and fierce need to constantly have something edible in your mouth is the culprit here, Lemon. Are you sure you didn’t grow up starving in a third-world country?”
Before Liz can respond, a disgruntled-looking doctor pushes aside the curtain. He introduces himself but Liz forgets his name almost instantly because he is prodding her arm and informing her that she needs five stitches. He tells her that an intern will be over to stitch her up in no time before he disappears again.
“Okay!” Liz called after him. “I’ll just be here bleeding to death while you go play doctor with some skanky nurse!”
Jack cleared his throat. “I’m pretty sure he is now treating a gunshot wound, Lemon.”
“My injury isn’t cool enough for him?” She huffs. “Seattle is lame.”
“So I’ve heard,” Jack replied impatiently.
A young, slightly-terrified-looking intern shuffled over holding a suture kit. She began to explain the process as she pulled over a tray upon which she set her things.
“Woah woah woah,” Liz said, holding up her uninjured arm. “You are an embryo.”
“Actually, I’m twenty-fi-“
Liz shook her head. “This is my arm here. I need this. I need…” She looked past the intern and saw a beautiful, dark-haired woman in a lab coat. “Her! Oooh…I want her.”
“That’s Doctor Torres,” the intern explained as she removed Jack’s tie from Liz’s arm, which had doubled as a makeshift bandage. “She’s our resident orthopedic surgeon.”
“Can I have her instead?”
“No,” Jack brusquely replied. “Let the intern to her job.”
The mousy girl reminded them of her name and began to prepare the area for her needle.
Liz whined. “But…she’s so pretty…You should get her for me as a get well present.”
Jack smirked. “I always knew-“
“Not that kind of present,” Liz added. “Wouldn’t she be nice to look at on TGS?”
“She may not even speak English.”
“So?”
“Jenna would kill you.”
Liz watched the gorgeous doctor smile at a nurse. “It would be so worth it.”
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell?” Jack questioned, raising a stern eyebrow.
“Nope. No….hear me out. We don’t have any people of color on the show. She would be perfect! The network would be all over that shizz.”
“Have you forgotten Tracey?”
Liz frowned. “Maybe I did hit my head….for a few carefree minutes, life was simple without knowing I have to babysit him everyday…”
“It’s possible that you have a concussion,” the intern said after completing the second stitch.
“Does that mean you can call that doc over here to give me a physical or whatever?”
“Definite concussion,” Jack concluded. “Liz, you are not attracted to women.”
“Maybe I am…to her…”
“Or, consider this option: in your rush to reach your oily potato chips, you slipped, cut your arm, and hit your head on the floor.”
“Oooh…y’know…I did slip when I was getting up…”
“There you do. Though I much enjoy your new appreciation for women, I’m fairly certain that I’d prefer your mind intact to write your show.”
Liz’s shoulders slumped. “It woulda been funny to see Jenna’s face though, wouldn’t it?”
Jack nodded in agreement.
Liz sighed heavily. “I enjoyed my Tracey-less, hot lady filled-world while it lasted.”
“Look at it this way, Lemon,” Jack said, patting her shoulder consolingly, “if I get her number, perhaps you’ll still be able to enjoy looking at her.”
The writer’s mouth dropped. “Don’t you dare!”
Jack chuckled. “I won’t steal your girlfriend.”
Liz winced as the intern completed the final stitch. “What a pal. When can we get out of here? I want to kick Seattle in the shins before we leave.”
“Soon, Lemon. Soon.”
Liz watched Dr. Torres as she signed off on a chart. The doctor glanced around the emergency room, spotted Liz, smiled, and headed down a hallway. She sighed. She could feel her stress level climbing already and her head beginning to throb. She hated Lays for not being shower friendly. She hated Tracey for being stupid. She hated Jenna for being jealous. She hated Jack for watching Dr. Torres’s ass as she walked away. She hated the intern for bandaging her arm too tightly. Most of all, Liz hated that she wasn’t really a lesbian.
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Prompt: Liz has to go to Seattle to find the new cast member and injures herself. Callie becomes an impromptu applicant for the job with her biting sarcasm as she treats our favorite clumsy comedy writer for her broken bones.
Challenge: 100 Fic Challenge (#37)
Fandom: Jack/Liz, 30 Rock, slight mention of Liz/Callie, Grey’s Anatomy
Requested by: mrschimpf
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 907
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were. Please don't sue.
Author's Note: I sort of butchered this prompt and did what I wanted with it. It wasn’t intentional; I had an idea in my head and ran with it. It was meant to be a crossover, but I only faintly mention the other character. Knowing Grey's Anatomy is not required to follow this story. I love cranky!Liz and couldn’t help but take full advantage of her in an injured state. Let me know what you think!
-
Liz yelped in pain as Jack helped her onto the bed in the emergency room and snatched back the arm he was helpfully holding. “Watch it, buddy,” she said with a grimace. “I’m a soon-to-be invalid here…at least let me enjoy what remaining time I have with my arm.”
“They are not going to amputate your arm, Lemon.”
“How do you know? I don’t remember seeing M.D. attached to your name.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Pain makes you grouchy. Remind me to ask for extra vicodin.”
“Extra? They haven’t given me any to begin with.”
“I meant for me. It’s going to be a long flight back to New York.”
Liz rolled her eyes and coddled her arm. “Seattle is stupid.”
“Are you blaming Seattle for your little shower mishap?”
Liz sighed. “You’re right, Jack. I should be blaming Comfort Inn. Not very comfortable, is it?”
“This would have never happened if you hadn’t been reaching out of your shower for the open bag of Lays on the sink.”
Liz pouted. “I got hungry.”
“You couldn’t wait until you rinsed the shampoo from your hair?”
“No!”
Jack gave a stern, disapproving look. “Your over-active stomach and fierce need to constantly have something edible in your mouth is the culprit here, Lemon. Are you sure you didn’t grow up starving in a third-world country?”
Before Liz can respond, a disgruntled-looking doctor pushes aside the curtain. He introduces himself but Liz forgets his name almost instantly because he is prodding her arm and informing her that she needs five stitches. He tells her that an intern will be over to stitch her up in no time before he disappears again.
“Okay!” Liz called after him. “I’ll just be here bleeding to death while you go play doctor with some skanky nurse!”
Jack cleared his throat. “I’m pretty sure he is now treating a gunshot wound, Lemon.”
“My injury isn’t cool enough for him?” She huffs. “Seattle is lame.”
“So I’ve heard,” Jack replied impatiently.
A young, slightly-terrified-looking intern shuffled over holding a suture kit. She began to explain the process as she pulled over a tray upon which she set her things.
“Woah woah woah,” Liz said, holding up her uninjured arm. “You are an embryo.”
“Actually, I’m twenty-fi-“
Liz shook her head. “This is my arm here. I need this. I need…” She looked past the intern and saw a beautiful, dark-haired woman in a lab coat. “Her! Oooh…I want her.”
“That’s Doctor Torres,” the intern explained as she removed Jack’s tie from Liz’s arm, which had doubled as a makeshift bandage. “She’s our resident orthopedic surgeon.”
“Can I have her instead?”
“No,” Jack brusquely replied. “Let the intern to her job.”
The mousy girl reminded them of her name and began to prepare the area for her needle.
Liz whined. “But…she’s so pretty…You should get her for me as a get well present.”
Jack smirked. “I always knew-“
“Not that kind of present,” Liz added. “Wouldn’t she be nice to look at on TGS?”
“She may not even speak English.”
“So?”
“Jenna would kill you.”
Liz watched the gorgeous doctor smile at a nurse. “It would be so worth it.”
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell?” Jack questioned, raising a stern eyebrow.
“Nope. No….hear me out. We don’t have any people of color on the show. She would be perfect! The network would be all over that shizz.”
“Have you forgotten Tracey?”
Liz frowned. “Maybe I did hit my head….for a few carefree minutes, life was simple without knowing I have to babysit him everyday…”
“It’s possible that you have a concussion,” the intern said after completing the second stitch.
“Does that mean you can call that doc over here to give me a physical or whatever?”
“Definite concussion,” Jack concluded. “Liz, you are not attracted to women.”
“Maybe I am…to her…”
“Or, consider this option: in your rush to reach your oily potato chips, you slipped, cut your arm, and hit your head on the floor.”
“Oooh…y’know…I did slip when I was getting up…”
“There you do. Though I much enjoy your new appreciation for women, I’m fairly certain that I’d prefer your mind intact to write your show.”
Liz’s shoulders slumped. “It woulda been funny to see Jenna’s face though, wouldn’t it?”
Jack nodded in agreement.
Liz sighed heavily. “I enjoyed my Tracey-less, hot lady filled-world while it lasted.”
“Look at it this way, Lemon,” Jack said, patting her shoulder consolingly, “if I get her number, perhaps you’ll still be able to enjoy looking at her.”
The writer’s mouth dropped. “Don’t you dare!”
Jack chuckled. “I won’t steal your girlfriend.”
Liz winced as the intern completed the final stitch. “What a pal. When can we get out of here? I want to kick Seattle in the shins before we leave.”
“Soon, Lemon. Soon.”
Liz watched Dr. Torres as she signed off on a chart. The doctor glanced around the emergency room, spotted Liz, smiled, and headed down a hallway. She sighed. She could feel her stress level climbing already and her head beginning to throb. She hated Lays for not being shower friendly. She hated Tracey for being stupid. She hated Jenna for being jealous. She hated Jack for watching Dr. Torres’s ass as she walked away. She hated the intern for bandaging her arm too tightly. Most of all, Liz hated that she wasn’t really a lesbian.
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