Fic: A Sorta Fairytale | Part Two | Addison/Callie
It was quarter past eight when Addison walked through her front door, her keys landing on the small table in her foyer with a resounding clink. She flipped on light switches as she crossed the hallway and entered her kitchen. After placing her briefcase on the counter, she pulled out a stool and set down the stack of mail that she had retrieved from her mailbox. Bill. Bill. Give money to the AMA. Pennysaver. Postcard. Free razor.
Her breath caught as she looked at the postcard lying on her counter. The small rectangle displayed an image of the Space Needle. Who would send her a postcard? Holding her breath, she flipped the card over and recognized the handwriting immediately.
"Addie - I miss you more than you'll ever know. Seattle and I aren't the same without you. - C"
Addison reread the postcard thirteen times before setting it down, her heart pounding madly in her chest. If there was any scrap of evidence to support Naomi's theory, she was certain that this would be it. Platonic friends didn't say things like that, did they?
She tapped the postcard against her lip as she walked into her bedroom, pausing in the doorway to read it again. She grinned and felt her heart skip as she changed out of her work clothes and into an oversized t-shirt. She couldn't believe how much a simple two-line note meant to her. To know that Callie had been thinking about her enough to purchase the eighty-cent card, write this message, and take the time to send it--it was overwhelming.
What did Callie think about when her thoughts included her? Addison fell onto her bed, wondering if Callie Torres could actually have feelings for her too. The thought was too good to be true; she almost worried about giving in to considering it as a possibility for fear of being let down. It wouldn't be the first time that she loved someone who didn't feel the same, but it was much different to be pushing forty and have such a vast relationship history rather than a shy teenager in love with her biology teacher.
Callie Torres. She sighed, propping the postcard against the lamp on her nightstand. What would she say to her? She didn't anticipate bringing it up during tonight's conversation, but when she did work up the nerve…
What if she wrote a letter? No. That wouldn't work. Addison was positive that if she did tell her, she'd want an immediate reaction, not one that could have been processed over any amount of time. She could always wait until Callie came to visit…but no, that seemed so long away. She wasn't sure that she could keep her feelings contained for such a long time without combusting.
As she reached for the postcard the telephone rang. It was only 8:39. She pursed her lips in annoyance and prepared to dismiss whoever was calling and gasped when she saw Callie's name in the illuminated green screen.
"You're early tonight!"
"I got impatient," Callie laughed. "Actually, Cristina is forcing me to meet her at Joe's tonight. She says I'm one step away from becoming a spinster cat lady. I had to remind her that pets are not allowed at The Archfield."
Addison's smile faded immediately. "Oh, I see how it is. Ditching me for Yang? What did I tell you? Addison replacement is beginning."
"Don't be such a tool. You are not being replaced. I'm seriously going for a drink and a half and then I will promptly be returning to my hotel room."
"Oh you'll end up staying." Addison pinched her arm as if to physically force herself to sound supportive and enthusiastic. It didn't help that a jealous parasite was feasting upon her intestinal tract. "That's good…you should be getting out with real people…not sitting around on the phone with me."
"You are a real person, Addison. You know I wish I were going with you."
Addison sighed. "I know. I do too. What are you wearing on this little excursion?"
"Jeans and that blue and teal top we bought together."
The parasite closed in on her throat. "Don't forget the Do Me sign for your back."
"Oh come on, it's not that bad! You told me to get the damn thing!"
"Yea, because I liked how it looks on you but now all those men at the bar will be all over you."
"Well, I've gotta wear the top sometime. Once with you at the club is not enough. I'm not one of those divas who wears a top once and then chucks it for something new and original." Callie paused. "And you're not exactly here for me to wear it for, so alas, it's coming out of the closet."
Addison sighed, imagining the men that would be swarming around her. "If you must."
"Are you okay, Ad? You sound a little strange."
"No, no. Just…a long day."
Callie sounded as if she had fallen back onto her mattress and was shifting to make herself comfortable. "I hear you. I thought I'd never be able to leave. Working with George was just as awkward as I thought it would be."
Addison groaned in support. "What happened?"
"The man couldn't even make eye contact with me. Not that he should've--I probably would have turned him to stone. But it's like, come the fuck on. Be professional! Don't walk around all fucking wounded like you're the one who's been totally betrayed. How dare he? Ugh. After all that I do feel like a drink but I wish I were just breaking into my stash rather than having to sit and pretend I want to be at the bar."
Addison relaxed a little. How could she honestly be jealous of Callie going to the bar with Cristina when she obviously didn't want to go? Rationally, she knew that Callie wouldn't tweak how she felt just to make Addison feel better, and she knew that she had no reason to. She couldn't expect Callie to sit home every night and be on the phone with her. But…she was out. She was moving on with her life while Addison was stuck at a standstill. "I'm sorry he proved to be the little troll that he is. Did we really expect anything more out of him?"
"No. But still, it's nice to dream, right?"
"Things will get less awkward with time, Cal. I know my role was slightly reversed when I went through this, but there's hope for friendship after divorce."
"You know, at this point I'd settle for being amiable acquaintances. I'm just sick of it. Things seemed so great when I got Chief Resident--I felt on top of the world. And then you left and I found out about George and I'm not pregnant and now it's all so foreign and weird. I'm beginning to think you had the right idea in starting fresh somewhere else."
"Word on the street is that LA is a pretty good place to start over."
Callie laughed. "I guess we'll have to see how things go here. Who knows, maybe you'll end up with a roommate."
Addison smiled. "Maybe I should get working on that guest bedroom after all, just in case."
"I don't hog the covers, I promise."
Addison laughed, blushing once more at the thought of Callie sharing her bed. "Good; if I get lazy on the room we'll be all set then."
"Good!"
Addison looked to her left and glanced the postcard. "So, I got something interesting in the mail today."
"Oh? Another invitation to join the NRA?"
"Better than that. A certain someone sent me a really amazing postcard."
Callie paused. "Amazing was it?"
"It was. It made my day."
"I'm really glad. You had been in my thoughts…you know, just wanted to make sure that you knew you were missed."
"I think I definitely know now."
"Cuz me telling you repeatedly hadn't been enough?"
"Well sure it was. But seeing it in a totally unexpected, thoughtful way…it meant a lot."
"Good. I'm glad. Oh, hang on." Pause. "Dammit. Cristina is texting; she said she would when she was ready to leave for the bar. I should probably head out so I can get out of there that much faster."
Addison sighed. "If you must."
"I must. But call me tomorrow."
"I will. Have fun. Be a good little girl and don't talk to strangers."
"All right, Mom," Callie said with a laugh. "Have a good rest of your night."
"You too, Cal. I miss you."
"I miss you too, Addison."
"Good night."
"Good night. Oh, Addison?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm gonna wear the gray shirt instead," she said quietly. The statement, as simple as it came across, impacted Addison with extreme force.
Addison's breath hitched in her throat. The gray one…the gray one. Aah, she remembered. It was modest and did little to accentuate Callie's figure. She had scolded her for owning it and forbade her from wearing it in public. She smiled, the hollow feeling left by the parasite feeling as though it were inflating. She bit her lip, contemplating what to say. "Have a good time," she said with honest enthusiasm.
Callie paused. It sounded as though she were smiling. "I will. Bye, Addie."
As Addison hung up the phone, she stared at the postcard, recounting the closing of the conversation. There were no tears that night before she fell asleep.
--
Several weeks later found Addison Montgomery in much higher spirits. She skipped through her front door with an extra spring in her step, her smile beaming as she found another postcard in the meager stack of mail. She averted her eyes, waiting to devour its message until she had made herself comfortable.
She quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a loose sweatshirt, pulling her red locks into a high ponytail. She grabbed a Diet Coke from the fridge, smiling at the picture of herself and Callie that adorned the otherwise blank stainless steel door, and picked up the postcard.
Addison laughed. The black and white image was of a beagle puppy, its eyes large and watery, its snout giving the appearance of a frown. She flipped it, glancing at the message on the back.
"A- This is me without you. -C"
Color flushed her cheeks and she brought the card to her lips, kissing it as she entered her office. Setting down the can of soda, she tacked the postcard to the bulletin board that was mounted above her desk. The blank inked message blended brilliantly with the three other cards that were tacked beside it. There was the first postcard she had received, which had been followed several days later by one bearing the message "You were in my thoughts today." A week later, she received another card which relayed the message "Seriously, A, this sucks."
Addison grinned, her heart pounding slightly as she surveyed the postcards. She had sent a few of her own to Callie, each one bearing similar messages of missing her and tempting images of sunny beaches. She had also sent, which she thought had been a clever idea on her part, a picture of herself pouting, which she had Photoshopped to include a thought bubble around Callie's face. Callie had loved it.
She had gotten no further in telling Callie how she felt than she had in the first night Naomi prompted her to do it. Somehow, the silence was allowing her to uncover more clues that contributed to the theory that the feelings were not entirely one-sided. Callie spoke little of George, and when she did, pain no longer tinged her voice. She spent increasingly more time in saying goodbye at night, as if the very thought of hanging up would physically hurt her. It wasn't much to go on, but Addison found herself convinced that Callie's feelings were more than just as a friend. And, if that weren't enough, the copious amount of flirtatious comments alluded to the teeming sexual tension that haunted Addison long after their phone conversations had ended each night.
As a familiar tingle began to spread across the back of her neck, Addison tore her mind away from Callie and glanced at her briefcase, the contents of which were the reason she had left work early to begin with. After an intense, near-problematic surgery earlier that morning, Addison had decided to take the rest of the day off to catch up on paperwork from home. Oh the joys of being in a private practice.
She seated herself at her desk, taking a mouthful of the caffeinated beverage and emptying the paperwork onto her desk. As she glanced at the stack of papers, her phone began to ring.
She groaned. No one called during the day besides her mother and telemarketers and she contemplated leaving it to the machine. She reached for it anyway and answered. "Hello?"
"Addie?"
Her insides chilled as she heard the scared, tearful voice on the other end of the receiver. "Callie? What's wrong? Are you okay?"
Callie cleared her throat, sniffing loudly. "I'm okay…I'm fine. There was an accident."
"Oh my God, Callie, what happened?" She felt as though the remaining breath in her lungs were suffocating her.
Callie took a deep breath and paused for several moments. "I was driving to work. I had a dentist appointment this morning, it was just a cleaning so I wasn't like drugged up or anything." She took another fortifying breath and continued. "I was driving, you know, just minding my business," her breath hitched as if she were trying to hold back a sob, "and this guy rams into the back of my car full force…it was so fucking fast and I swerved to miss the car in front of me and I ended up hitting a tree."
Addison gasped, clutching her throat as if to free herself from suffocating. Her eyes stung with tears and she held them back, attempting not to panic until she had heard the rest of what Callie had to say. "Are you okay, Cal? Were you examined?"
"Yes…yes. Bailey did the exam herself. I'm fine, just a bruise on my forehead." Callie began to cry again. "Ugh, I can't stop the tears, Addie. They came out of nowhere. When I crashed I hit my head against the window and when I got out of the car and I was more pissed than anything. The guy who hit me was some dumbass kid who wasn't paying attention. I'dve strangled the bastard if I hadn't gotten lightheaded and nearly fainted when I was checking to make sure I hadn't hit the other car in front of me before impacting with the tree. They towed the car, which I'm sure is totaled, and I was taken toGrace. Bailey checked me out…everyone was all concerned and I was just angry, y'know, 'cause that's my freakin' car and I've got this giant bruise and then I just started thinking, you know, like putting things in perspective and I started crying and I left and now I can't stop sobbing."
During Callie's recount of the accident Addison had somehow made her way into her living room and was seated on her couch, her hand still pressed tightly to her throat, her heart pounding violently against her chest. "Cal…Fuck…are you sure you're okay? Do you need me to come? I'll start driving right now, I can be there in--"
"No, no, just talk to me. I couldn't handle you not being on the phone during the drive. I need you, Addie…" She began to sob.
"I'm here, Cal. I'm here…I'm not going anywhere." Addison listened to Callie cry for several minutes, soothing her as best she could as she attempted to calm herself down. Her own tears fell before she could stop them, and the two women's crying intermingled for several long moments.
What if Callie had died in that accident? What if she had been seriously injured, had suffered brain damage? Would anyone have thought to call her to let her know?
"Oh Callie…if anything had happened to you…" She cried a little harder, wiping away tears with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "I don't know what I'd do. You mean so much to me, Cal…so much."
The sound of Callie blowing her nose sounded in Addison's ear. "Addison…I feel the same way. I got so scared thinking that I'd never see you again and it just….I need you in my life so much, Ad."
Addison had sat upright on her couch, leaning against her legs. Naomi had told her to wait for the right moment, that it would present itself and shouldn't be wasted. Any hesitation, any fear that she had harbored had vanished, replaced now with a certainty that fueled her courage.
"Callie," she began, her voice shaking slightly. "I've been wanting to tell you something for so long now and it took the reality of possibility losing you from my life forever to finally work up the courage to say it. I just…Wow. Okay, this is harder to say than I thought it would be but, here goes…" She took a deep breath. "Callie Torres, I love you. I have loved you since I don't even know when. I know it's ridiculous to say it was the moment I met you, because all I knew you as was the woman who slept with the manwhore, but the first time I looked into your eyes I was a goner and didn't even realize it. You've been my best friend, my rock, the only person I want to share every good and bad thing with that happens in my life. Leaving Seattle killed me because it meant leaving you and I've cried so much because I never thought you could love me and I've tried to ignore it, fight it, pretend it didn't exist, but that's the thing, Cal. Ignoring it or fighting it means ignoring you, because you are love. You've made me feel like a whole person…I can't even explain it…I was all torn and broken after Derek and you came along and band-aided my heart and you just…you just became the cure. If I lost you, Callie, so much of me would have died because you are so much of me. I love you, Callie, and I don't expect you to feel the same but I can't help but feel that you do and I don't want to sound all presumptuous but I couldn't possibly be this happy if it were unrequited love. But even if it is…even if you don't love me and you just think of me as your best friend, it wouldn't matter because you're still here, you're still living, and that fucking teenage brat won't have to experience an untimely death." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "So…yes."
Addison concentrated on breathing and listening for any reaction from Callie. At once she was consumed by an intense loathing for the small black phone, hating it for its artificiality, its coldness. It wasn't Callie. She listened to Callie's renewed, softened crying and attempted to swallow the lump forming in her throat.
"Cal…this is where I need you to say something. Even if it's that you think I've said too much…even if it's that you don't feel the same way …even if--"
"Addison."
"I'm rambling. I know. I'm sorry. I'm just--"
"Addison. It's my turn now." Callie sniffed and cleared her throat, a small thud against the phone making Addison wonder if she were drying her eyes. "You know how I am. With love. It doesn't come easily and George…God, I thought George had ruined me. And…since you left…I felt lonelier than ever. I never thought anything of it. I thought it was just me missing my best friend and being sad over losing my husband to McTrailer Trash…I dunno. I thought about trying to date, I thought about listening to Cristina, who urged me to start dating so she wouldn't be trying to meet men alone. But something always held me back, something I couldn't explain. I'd find myself thinking about you all the time, missing you so much that I felt physically ill. I just attributed it, again, to not being with my best friend. I'll admit that even when I was with George that I had a bit of a crush on you…how could I not? You're gorgeous, and funny, and caring…you're more than anyone could wish for. But those thoughts were just…with me all the time. But it wasn't until I cracked the window with my forehead and wrapped my car around a tree that I realized that it's not a crush, Addison. It's not some fleeting thing…it's love, Addison. It terrifies me and it consumes me and," Callie began to cry again, "the thought of never telling you terrified me even more than actually being in love. What I'm trying to say, Addison, is that I love you too. It's not one-sided. It's nothing but me loving you back. It scares me how much I need you and love you, Ad, but I don't want to hide it anymore. Hearing you say what you just said…especially when I know how much of a chickenshit you are…I don't want anything but you."
Addison wiped her nose with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, catching the consistently falling tears with her thumbs as happiness pooled within her. She heard Callie sniffle and imagined the strong, beautiful woman sitting on her bed, wiping away her own tears. She longed to be there with her, longed to dry her tears since she had been the one to cause them…
And then Addison paused in the middle of her thought. She loved Callie. Callie loved her back. This love, this glorious, amazing, euphoric feeling, was something that people died for, killed for, searched their entire lives for. And they were crying.
Addison began to giggle softly to herself until laughter erupted from the pit of her belly. She couldn't control it; she gasped for breath, rolling on her couch as she let the pent up happiness and giddiness spill out of her.
"Addison? What? Why are you laughing??" Callie shrieked.
Addison knew Callie must beginning to worry that she was laughing at her, rather than the hilarity of the situation, but found difficulty calming herself enough to speak an entire sentence. "I--I'm laughing at us!" She pictured Callie's tear-stained face and quizzical glare and laughed harder. Callie could not stop herself from giggling along with Addison, finally laughing nearly as hard as the redhead.
Addison took several large breaths to calm herself, dabbing away at a laugh-induced tear. "Oh Cal…honestly…we love each other and we're crying! How messed up are we?"
"It's an emotional thing, you insensitive boob!"
Addison laughed. "You did not just call me a boob."
"I believe I did. And you deserved it. It's your fault I'm like this!"
"It's that kid's fault, technically. You would have stayed all stealth about your feelings for me otherwise."
"Like you would've ever confessed!"
"Lies! I was going to tell you. I've just been waiting for the right moment."
"Well…in that case, I'm glad that boy chose today to stick his head up his ass…because, malfunctioning tear ducts be damned, I'm really happy right now."
Addison smiled. "So am I, Callie. I just hate hearing you cry! It doesn't happen very often, so when it does…"
"Like I said…it's some malfunction or something. Named Addison. You've made me all gushy and wet and yea…"
Addison's eyes buldged slightly.
"Wait! No! Okay, I did not mean wet like that! I mean from crying….Oh shut up!"
Addison laughed. "I didn't say anything!"
"You didn't have to. I can hear from the tone of your silence or whatever what you're thinking. If I were there right now I'd smack you with a pillow."
"I wish you were here right now."
"Me too." Callie cleared her throat. "Um, Ad?"
"Yes?"
"What are you doing two weeks from Wednesday?"
Addison's heart began to thump madly in her chest. "What are you trying to say, Callie?"
There was that sound of Callie grinning again. "I'm saying that I bought a ticket before I called you. I can be in Santa Monica from Wednesday afternoon until Sunday night. That's all the free time I had but…"
"It's perfect. Callie! Oh my God. You're going to be here!"
"It doesn't seem like enough time…"
"It never is…but it will be amazing. And you know what? If I have to start breaking some bones in the practice that require your expertise, I'm sure Cooper and Pete would be happy to oblige. Then you'll have to stay. Or some back. For purely professional purposes, of course."
Callie laughed. "Or you could, I dunno, use your own vacation time."
"Hmm…I suppose I could do that too." Addison breathed in, imagining she could smell Callie's perfume. "I can't wait to see you. I need it."
"So do I, babe."
"Have two weeks passed yet?"
Callie sighed. "No."
"How about now?"
Callie laughed. "Actually yes. I'm outside the door right now."
Addison pouted and then smiled. "I love you, Callie."
"I love you too, Addison."
--
Addison's pale pink Prada pumps clicked along the hall as she made her way out of the examination room and headed for the break room. She walked into the blissfully empty room and inhaled deeply. She was shaking.
In six hours, thirty-four minutes, and twenty-five seconds, Callie's flight would arrive. A chill ran down her spine. She could just picture that first moment when they'd meet in the concourse lobby. There would be people milling around in every direction but Callie would stand out instantly. She'd run to her, envelope her in a hug…perhaps kiss her. She hadn't completely decided if the first time they kissed should be in the middle of a crowded airport, but she also wasn't sure if she could help herself from tasting her lips. That moment, their first kiss, was all she could think about. Her legs felt unsteady.
Kissing Callie was certainly not Addison's primary focus. Just being in the same state, the same room, would be enough to send Addison into cardiac arrest. Her heart was pounding just at the thought of it. But there was something about sealing the fact that they loved each other with a kiss that had every nerve in her body taut with anticipation. And what would happen after that first kiss? She closed her eyes, imagining for the millionth time that Callie was touching her--
"Earth to Addison," Naomi said, causing Addison to jump.
"Naomi. Uh, hi. How are you?" Addison responded, running her fingers through her hair and busying herself with a bottle of water that she pulled out of the fridge.
"Like you care. You're in Callieland."
Addison looked around, shushing her immediately. "Naomi, I really, really don't want the entire office to know about us, okay? Not yet, anyway."
"I haven't told anyone and you know it. If anyone's going to spill, it'll be you and that dreamy look you've had on your face for the last two weeks."
Addison grinned, looking at Naomi. "Am I that obvious?"
"You're a woman in love. You'd have to be dead not to notice."
"I can't wait to see her, Naomi. Just a few more hours of pretending that I care about babies and vaginas and then…"
"I'm not even gonna touch that one, Ad."
Addison laughed. "Okay, how do I look? Seriously…I want to look good." She stepped back, holding out her arms and spinning for Naomi's scrutiny.
"For the third time, you look beautiful."
"Really?"
"You know you look good. God, you're insufferable. You need to get laid like yesterday."
Addison feigned a hurt expression. "You think my wanting to look good for Callie only has to do with my shagableness? I just…want things to be perfect."
"They will be, but you need to stop trying to control everything. See where things take you. You can't plan everything."
"You're right. I know."
"Good. That's my girl. Now don't you have a ten o'clock?"
"What? No, I cancelled that."
Naomi raised an eyebrow. "No, you didn’t. Dell just sent a couple into your office."
"Are you kidding me? I wanted this to be a stress-free day."
"Then stop making more out of your job than there should be, see your patient, and twiddle your thumbs until you can leave for the airport."
Addison sighed and headed for the door. As she reached it, she paused and turned back. "I'm so happy, Naomi."
Naomi smiled warmly. "I know. Now go."
Addison contemplated making a pit stop at Dell's desk to berate him for not canceling the appointment but decided against it. What good would it do? Wise, all-knowing Naomi warned against becoming too stressed and Addison had to agree. She couldn't very well pick up Callie from the airport with an agitated, work-related chip on her shoulder. So, she took a deep, calming breath and walked into her office, shutting the door behind her.
"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs.--"
She stopped, noting the two empty chairs before her desk, and swore under her breath. Had Naomi been mistaken? Sighing, she made to turn around but jumped when her chair, which had been facing the window, began to turn.
She completely lost her breath when Callie Torres grinned back at her.
--
((Part Three))