In which our protagonist wrestles with the era of Satanic mass hysteria which defined him...
A friend of mine whom I grew up with in church recently posted on Facebook about an old videotape we were made to watch repeatedly in Youth Group entitled Hell's Bells. In the 1980's, the events now snidely referred to as "The Satanic Panic" formed their own bizzare, through-the-looking-glass alternate world among churchgoing America and Hell's Bells was its cultural apex. During its three hour run time a softspoken, mulleted host played Virgil to our impressionable tween Dantes as we harrowed the Circles of Hell in the form of rock, pop, and heavy metal music.
Much has been said about Hell's Bells by others, from its status as the Satanic Panic's most prized cultural relic, to the way it hilariously backfired, exposing a generation of eager metalheads to a variety of incredibly dark non-mainstream bands whom they probably would never have heard otherwise. I do not intend to rehash that. Instead, I want to talk about the one part that stuck with me the most. You see, Hell's Bells climaxes with the grand reveal of the music you should be listening to. It is clearly intended to be the video's knockout punch: the final nail in the coffin of the Satanic music you are now ready to cast away forever. The song is "The Danse" by Kemper Crabb. If you want to skip to the song, it begins at 4:51.
My opinion might surprise you. I appreciate this song a lot more now than I did when I was 14 years old... and maybe that's the very problem with it. It's beautiful; it's a pretty song, and as far as worship music goes, I like it a whole lot better than what you'll hear in a typical non-Catholic church on any typical Sunday morning. But it's not just worship music; it's strummy medieval-style worship music. It makes you imagine it was played by a dour, aging man strumming a hilarious lute and wearing a black cassock.
Oh. Fuck...
This song is not in any way accessible. Unless you'd had a very musical upbringing, there was no way you were going to get it or know what to do with it. It was not going to wean anybody off of Slayer and all the negative-flipped footage from Jesus Of Nazareth in the world wasn't going to change that.
I have spent years wondering what the creators of Hell's Bells were thinking by unleashing that song as their secret weapon. It just... I can't even. It speaks for itself. And I say that as someone who likes that song. Now. When it is far, far too late for me.
Incidentally, I met Kemper Crabb at the last Cornerstone Music Festival I attended in 2000. Kemper Crabb had a very, very intense energy to him, like the force of his personality was just beating at you just by being in proximity to him. I didn't feel like he was a bad man in any sense, but he made me very uncomfortable.
Much has been said about Hell's Bells by others, from its status as the Satanic Panic's most prized cultural relic, to the way it hilariously backfired, exposing a generation of eager metalheads to a variety of incredibly dark non-mainstream bands whom they probably would never have heard otherwise. I do not intend to rehash that. Instead, I want to talk about the one part that stuck with me the most. You see, Hell's Bells climaxes with the grand reveal of the music you should be listening to. It is clearly intended to be the video's knockout punch: the final nail in the coffin of the Satanic music you are now ready to cast away forever. The song is "The Danse" by Kemper Crabb. If you want to skip to the song, it begins at 4:51.
Click to viewMy opinion might surprise you. I appreciate this song a lot more now than I did when I was 14 years old... and maybe that's the very problem with it. It's beautiful; it's a pretty song, and as far as worship music goes, I like it a whole lot better than what you'll hear in a typical non-Catholic church on any typical Sunday morning. But it's not just worship music; it's strummy medieval-style worship music. It makes you imagine it was played by a dour, aging man strumming a hilarious lute and wearing a black cassock.
Oh. Fuck...
This song is not in any way accessible. Unless you'd had a very musical upbringing, there was no way you were going to get it or know what to do with it. It was not going to wean anybody off of Slayer and all the negative-flipped footage from Jesus Of Nazareth in the world wasn't going to change that.
I have spent years wondering what the creators of Hell's Bells were thinking by unleashing that song as their secret weapon. It just... I can't even. It speaks for itself. And I say that as someone who likes that song. Now. When it is far, far too late for me.
Incidentally, I met Kemper Crabb at the last Cornerstone Music Festival I attended in 2000. Kemper Crabb had a very, very intense energy to him, like the force of his personality was just beating at you just by being in proximity to him. I didn't feel like he was a bad man in any sense, but he made me very uncomfortable.