proper updateage
I'm making time to update, because I think I actually need to use this to reflect for once, instead of just randomly saying like 2 sentences and leaving it at that.
I've been informed that I need to have a "girls' night out" with some of my friends...and god, I wish I had time. I feel like I'm growing apart from all my friends, and it really sucks. I hardly have classes with anyone anymore, and I'm not home often enough to have time to just call someone and chat for hours. I think that's what I miss the most, just being able to chat about anything and everything.
I think the worst part of this is...I feel like I'm losing my best friend. I mean, yeah, I still tell her more than I tell anyone else (including my own mother), but it's just not the same. Part of it is just that neither of us has time to talk anymore...but there's so much more than that. I know she doesn't consider me to be her best friend, but I've considered her to be mine since like 8th grade or so. sometimes I just feel so...ignored. like, just a couple days ago, I was talking to her in class about stuff, then one of her other good friends came over and joined the conversation...and within 30 seconds, I was totally pushed out of the conversation. I don't think she even realized that she did it. Mind you, I'm not objecting to her having other friends, not by a long shot...I just wish that I could manage to have a conversation with her that lasts more than a minute and a half. Especially since...she seems like she needs to talk to someone at least...I can't even pretend to truly understand what she's going through right now, but I want to be able to talk to her, because I feel like I hardly even know what's going on in her life anymore. (out of politeness for everyone involved, I'm not going to write her name here, but I think that she can probably figure out who she is.)
god. I feel like I don't even see my friends at all anymore...and I hardly have time to talk to them either. it's like I'm losing them...I worry that by the end of the year I'm not going to have any friends left.
I've been worrying lately. worrying about my English stuff, worrying I'm going to lose all my friends, worrying about what's going on in my best friend's life, worrying about Bry...I just worry.
I feel like there was something else I wanted to add to this, but now I can't remember it. drat.
I've been informed that I need to have a "girls' night out" with some of my friends...and god, I wish I had time. I feel like I'm growing apart from all my friends, and it really sucks. I hardly have classes with anyone anymore, and I'm not home often enough to have time to just call someone and chat for hours. I think that's what I miss the most, just being able to chat about anything and everything.
I think the worst part of this is...I feel like I'm losing my best friend. I mean, yeah, I still tell her more than I tell anyone else (including my own mother), but it's just not the same. Part of it is just that neither of us has time to talk anymore...but there's so much more than that. I know she doesn't consider me to be her best friend, but I've considered her to be mine since like 8th grade or so. sometimes I just feel so...ignored. like, just a couple days ago, I was talking to her in class about stuff, then one of her other good friends came over and joined the conversation...and within 30 seconds, I was totally pushed out of the conversation. I don't think she even realized that she did it. Mind you, I'm not objecting to her having other friends, not by a long shot...I just wish that I could manage to have a conversation with her that lasts more than a minute and a half. Especially since...she seems like she needs to talk to someone at least...I can't even pretend to truly understand what she's going through right now, but I want to be able to talk to her, because I feel like I hardly even know what's going on in her life anymore. (out of politeness for everyone involved, I'm not going to write her name here, but I think that she can probably figure out who she is.)
god. I feel like I don't even see my friends at all anymore...and I hardly have time to talk to them either. it's like I'm losing them...I worry that by the end of the year I'm not going to have any friends left.
I've been worrying lately. worrying about my English stuff, worrying I'm going to lose all my friends, worrying about what's going on in my best friend's life, worrying about Bry...I just worry.
I feel like there was something else I wanted to add to this, but now I can't remember it. drat.