nonsensical gaming quotes, as per usual
"Unless someone wants to borrow me a pencil..."
"The camels have become much, much flatter."
"Tastes like ectoplasm...just like momma used to make."
"I don't plan on making any offensive actions...well, other than giving the hydra the finger."
"No dying! At least not by natural causes..."
"Fine. I take some cheese."
"You get about 60 gold worth of cheese."
"Secret documents of a secret nature."
"You tumble out of Dodge."
"That was a hydra puppet."
"Does his goo look valuable?"
"It WILL throw gelatinous cubes at you."
"I bet it's larger than a barn."
"That depends. Is it an Amish barn?"
"Great. We have an arch-nemesis hydra."
"You've critically distracted it."
"I'm an epic hero, but apparently I bruise very easily."
"Well that's...relatively...ow."
"Its immune system beats the crap out of you."
"You were killed by a hydra's T-cells, congratulations."
"...for debriefing. And rebriefing."
"He's like the Jehovah's Witness of necromancers."
"I like spellbooks."
"I like shiny things."
"I like dead companions."
"I'm Schrodinger's necromancer."
"Proving once again that AD&D stands for attention deficit disorder."
"You have AOE positive energy? What spell does that? ...Positive energy aura. That would do it."
"I consider frying sustenance on my head."
"Pull him out, you evil wolverine you."
"Featherfall!"
"You're polymorphed."
"...Shh!"
"Can you grab Jim?"
"I'm a wizard. No."
"No, I don't think the sand monster is going to wait for it. I think the sand monster is going to say, 'Oh, lunch! OMNOMNOM.'"
"It's a huge-sized dragon. Its fingers are much, much larger than ours."
"Some kind of weird-ass undead. I'm gonna rebuke the shit out of it."
"I summon a fiendish deinonychus."
"Brendan Fraser is our only hope."
"God help us all."
"Take 10 points of claw-in-the-face damage."
"That's not cool."
"You have a bell. And because you are a minotaur, this makes you part cow. Therefore, it is a cowbell."
"Die, cacti, die!"
"What, my mother's a whore? Well, you're buried alive."
"I will call him Imhotep."
"Emo-tep?"
"Going mad is like jumping into a lake. Do it all at once, get it over with."
"The next day is hot. Because it's a desert. ...It's sunny; the not-birds are singing."
"Illithid poetry."
"That's gotta be almost as bad as Vogon poetry."
"...Oh, and he only writes haiku."
"You come to a Very Large Valley."
"TM."
"So what's the plan for this again?"
"You didn't have one."
"...That sounds like us."
"Mordor Lite."
"I Can't Believe It's Not Mordor. ...Less-door!"
"All of you will have to make me will saves at some point in time."
"Okay. Get back to me in 20 years."
"I'm going to lay eggs in all of your brains."
"Jungles are a lot like mazes. They both have like...angles, and...floors...and things."
"Diablos ex machina."
"He'll sic the jungle on Joseph."
"Attack, foliage, attack!"
"You are NOT attacked by a dinosaur."
"Oh, is this the plane I'm summoning them from?"
"You guys got your laudanum?"
"I prefer River Tam. She can kill people with her brain. My character finds that sexy."
"The dragon has hands."
"You are a strange, strange shaggy beast, do you know that?"
"Stop blowing holes in my dragon!"
"Godspeed, One Fucking Skeleton."
We can has funny tonight. YAYYY.