(no subject)
It's been a hard week. I've been sick, and sick and tired and questioning everything. It's been a hard week because I don't know what I want from life, let alone do I know how to tap into the sap of the life.
It doesn't help that every day has been accompanied by a faint nausea and dizziness. I'm feeling better today, though. So thank god.
Today is a much better day. I've dropped the stress for now. Now all I have to do is clean the room and sit and contemplate missing my beau. It's weird that we see less of eachother now that we live together. I think we're both putting in valiant effort to get our shit together, though the shit and the routes we take to fixing ourselves seem to be separate. So while he's upstairs studying, I'm contemplating, crying, talking or passing out from the exhaustion of it all. All in all, it's not too bad. I just want to have some mutual time just for me to look into his eyes.
I've been spending a lot of time with Brett lately. I was so sad the other night, and he played me "tomorrow" on the piano, followed by a rockin rendition of Gershwin's "Summertime." It's weird, but I think he's good for me in a lot of ways. We come from entirely different backgrounds but our situations are still somehow comparable. Beyond that, sometimes I just have to spew bitter or beautiful honesty and not have to watch for being criticized or judged for it. The struggles are in many ways the same and he's a good guy. Sometimes I miss our big group of last year, but I feel like things are just fundamentally different in a lot of ways, this year. I think a lot of mental energy, at least for me and brett, is going in to keeping sane and not dropping out. I do wish I could just have the lighthearted and silly group interactions of last year, but I think for most of us the sophomore slump has set in. Not to say that I'm in the slump. I don't know that all of this is strictly attributable to something like a slump, but I suppose only time will tell.
Tonight Jen is taking on French Gabe in a drinking contest. We'll see how that goes. Tomorrow is the drive-in-movie, where they will be showing Newsies and V for Vendetta, then serving cotton candy.
Happy friday,
Lucy
It doesn't help that every day has been accompanied by a faint nausea and dizziness. I'm feeling better today, though. So thank god.
Today is a much better day. I've dropped the stress for now. Now all I have to do is clean the room and sit and contemplate missing my beau. It's weird that we see less of eachother now that we live together. I think we're both putting in valiant effort to get our shit together, though the shit and the routes we take to fixing ourselves seem to be separate. So while he's upstairs studying, I'm contemplating, crying, talking or passing out from the exhaustion of it all. All in all, it's not too bad. I just want to have some mutual time just for me to look into his eyes.
I've been spending a lot of time with Brett lately. I was so sad the other night, and he played me "tomorrow" on the piano, followed by a rockin rendition of Gershwin's "Summertime." It's weird, but I think he's good for me in a lot of ways. We come from entirely different backgrounds but our situations are still somehow comparable. Beyond that, sometimes I just have to spew bitter or beautiful honesty and not have to watch for being criticized or judged for it. The struggles are in many ways the same and he's a good guy. Sometimes I miss our big group of last year, but I feel like things are just fundamentally different in a lot of ways, this year. I think a lot of mental energy, at least for me and brett, is going in to keeping sane and not dropping out. I do wish I could just have the lighthearted and silly group interactions of last year, but I think for most of us the sophomore slump has set in. Not to say that I'm in the slump. I don't know that all of this is strictly attributable to something like a slump, but I suppose only time will tell.
Tonight Jen is taking on French Gabe in a drinking contest. We'll see how that goes. Tomorrow is the drive-in-movie, where they will be showing Newsies and V for Vendetta, then serving cotton candy.
Happy friday,
Lucy