revalation
well, i've felt like crap since like 5:00 today. and i know exactly why, it came to me in the shower. the problem ive been having is that i've lost focus on things i should not lose focus on. its a very religious problem. everyone tells me that the key to a relationship is to abandon the outcome, and i really had done that. just recently, i started persuing "the girl" and jon said that was okay because i loved her. but.. i see now, it's not okay at all. see, when you start to persue something in a relationship, the thing you're persuing, the thing you're looking forward to, is the outcome you want. you CANNOT abandon the outcome if you are persuing the outcome. quite simple. this problem i was having led me, just today, to feeling really crappy because i was getting the idea that the outcome i want is never going to come. just a bad day, there's really no reason the outcome i want could still not happen. but i was quite upset.. and for a bad reason, i have to work very hard on abandoning the outcome and im going to have to stop persuing. this is going to be hard because, like jon said, i love her.
two final thoughts..
1) abandoning the outcome seems, to me, to boil down to just setting your standards for a situation extremely low, to the point of nothing, so if you do end up coming out with nothing, you won't be disappointed.
2) why doesn't god make hormones kick in at a later age, like when people are actually ABLE to get married and then lawfully (god's law, not mans) do somehting about those hormones? does not make sense to me.
two final thoughts..
1) abandoning the outcome seems, to me, to boil down to just setting your standards for a situation extremely low, to the point of nothing, so if you do end up coming out with nothing, you won't be disappointed.
2) why doesn't god make hormones kick in at a later age, like when people are actually ABLE to get married and then lawfully (god's law, not mans) do somehting about those hormones? does not make sense to me.