All We Need in the War on Terror Is a Firm Roundhouse Kick
As I'm watching the speechification on CNN about the Iowa caucuses, I am suddenly awestruck by the sight of Chuck Norris hanging over Mike Huckabee's right shoulder. I think I've just figured out why Huckabee is going to be unstoppable in the coming primaries, and the subsequent general election. How can the rest of the Republican candidates withstand the dominance of Walker, Texas Ranger? Edwards' populism, Clinton's brilliance, and Obama's sheen will crumble in the wake of the star of Delta Force, to be sure, but what does this mean for the Huckabee administration?
One would think that Norris will be the obvious choice for Secretary of Defense. We certainly wouldn't need to pursue an anti-ballistic missile program, since he would just stare down the fiercest rogue silo. He could challenge the other cabinet members to a push-up contest if they tried to challenge his will. The roundhouse kick would become the greatest military advance since the machine gun in the fields of France, circa 1916. WMD would become WCN.
I do worry that the bible-thump of the Huckabee administration could become a scarier tactic. Although a roundhouse kick might wreck me, it probably wouldn't send me to h-e-double-hockey-sticks. Of course, if Louis Gossett, Jr. became the Attorney General, I would be completely without defense against invasions on my rights and my person.
One would think that Norris will be the obvious choice for Secretary of Defense. We certainly wouldn't need to pursue an anti-ballistic missile program, since he would just stare down the fiercest rogue silo. He could challenge the other cabinet members to a push-up contest if they tried to challenge his will. The roundhouse kick would become the greatest military advance since the machine gun in the fields of France, circa 1916. WMD would become WCN.
I do worry that the bible-thump of the Huckabee administration could become a scarier tactic. Although a roundhouse kick might wreck me, it probably wouldn't send me to h-e-double-hockey-sticks. Of course, if Louis Gossett, Jr. became the Attorney General, I would be completely without defense against invasions on my rights and my person.