Icon says it all
I don't think I'm going to eat out anymore. Really. I seem to have very bad luck with getting seated near people who have no idea how to act in public with any kind of intelligence beyond basic motor skills.
Take for instance the incident that occurred just an hour ago at our local Sonny's.
The plumber broke a sewage pipe so our kitchen is out of commission for at least another day, so we had to go out for dinner. Mom decided she wanted barbecue. We got to the restaurant and first thing we heard when we walked in is a child screaming on the far side of the dining room. Now, this is Sonny's after all, so of course there are gonna be kids, so we wisely asked to sit on the other side where it appeared to be a bit less noisy. Once we were seated, a child across the isle and one booth away from us made a couple loud squeals, but it was nothing unbearable, and the mother tried to quiet him immediately, so that was good. However, the child across the dining room was still screaming long and loud at least once every couple of minutes, and I could see my mom getting rattled, so I decided to lighten the mood by telling my funny "TRAIN!" story from work.
It goes like this: We have a train table set up in the kid's section in our store. You can always tell when a kid is being pulled away from the kid's section by force from the screams of "TRAIN!!!!! Nooo!! NOOOO!! TRAIN!!!" echoing throughout the store at least once every hour. This is normally followed by the parent of said child dragging (often literally) the child out of the store, cooing promises of ice cream and cookies and McDonalds if the child (who isn't listening) behaves (which, of course, never, ever works).
Now, I wasn't telling this story loudly, nor directed toward anyone besides my parents. And yet, out of the corner of my eye, I notice the girl sitting at the table nearby (the one with the child who had squealed earlier) looking at me, then lean over and say something to the two older women with her. Not one to be caught staring, I quickly looked away, only to notice all three turn to look directly at me. Immediately, the oldest among them (who turns out to be the child's mother I had mentally thanked earlier for the quick shushing of her son) starts loudly piping off something along the lines of "...better shut her fucking mouth or I'll blah, blah, blah..." Realizing the girl must have been listening to what I'd been saying, had made the incorrect assumption that my story was somehow related to them, and then planted the bug in her mother's ear that I was talking poorly about her son, I quickly held up my hands apologetically and said, "Oh, no no. I wasn't talking about you guys! That kid over there reminded me of a story from work. Sorry!" and gestured to the other side of the room.
This heifer bobs her head at me (like high school girls posturing for a fight), and responds with "You'd better not be talkin about my son, cuz he's autistic!" To which the two equally heiferlike yeehaws sitting with her muttered their own not so polite responses.
My parents, instead of standing up for me like they did the last time something like this happened in the same damn restaurant (funny story: Some old lady got nasty with me when, after a surprise sneeze, I had to bend over, put my head BELOW the table line, you know, to be as polite as possible, and quietly blow my nose. Evidentially this was extremely rude in her view, more rude than it would have been to run through the restaraunt with snot running out of my nose. I'm so jealous of those who don't have to deal with the joy of allergies. Dad and I proceeded to give her hell by way of coughing and clearing our throats obnoxiously), decided to let the cows ruin our dinner and got all passive and quiet.
I quickly realized that I was on my own with this one, and made the decision not to further defend myself against these "women's" posturing and lack of willingness to listen. I didn't even see the point in trying to apologize further. Instead, I sat back and gave up on trying to salvage the situation altogether, responding to my parent's awkward attempts at conversation with one word answers, so as not to risk "offending" anyone else nearby.
Mind you, this was the same group of women whose sneering glares I willfully ignored when we first got in and sat down. I've found this happens a lot when I come across ignorant people who happen to be on the opposite end of the weight spectrum from me. I hear and have become used to mutterings of "anorexic" and "needs to eat more" all the time. Those who take the time to talk with me and learn that I'm actually quite cool to be around (and eat A LOT, tyvm) tend to quickly knock that shit off. Not this group though. They were quiet happy to judge me based on the first thing they observed.
And for being so sensitive about having an autistic child, she certainly didn't treat him with any extra care, smacking him and threatening him in angry growls, harsh whispers, and colorful language when he did something that annoyed her. I was too thoroughly immersed in my "I don't care and have no opinion" mindset by then to point that out, though. Besides, no one with me would have appreciated the irony anyway.
I was so incredibly surprised when my parents stood up for me that one time. Normally they just act embarrassed or pretend like nothing happened. It's that whole keep a low profile, blend in, and don't be confrontational thing that I have come to ABHOR from watching their example over the years. I don't understand why people don't stand up for themselves, especially when they've been misunderstood. I was trying to distract and entertain my parents in a stressful situation. I was trying to make them laugh. Instead I ended up looking like an asshole.
I really don't think I'm going to bother with dining out anymore. Between parents refusing to use babysitters anymore, insisting that an entire room full of strangers be the ones to make accommodations for them, and people who plain just won't accept that they're not the center of the universe, or who are unwilling to act like decent, compromising adults, it simply isn't worth the effort.
And my chicken wings were soggy! And they gave me a stomach ache!!
I feel better now that I've typed this out.
Stomach still hurts, though : /
Take for instance the incident that occurred just an hour ago at our local Sonny's.
The plumber broke a sewage pipe so our kitchen is out of commission for at least another day, so we had to go out for dinner. Mom decided she wanted barbecue. We got to the restaurant and first thing we heard when we walked in is a child screaming on the far side of the dining room. Now, this is Sonny's after all, so of course there are gonna be kids, so we wisely asked to sit on the other side where it appeared to be a bit less noisy. Once we were seated, a child across the isle and one booth away from us made a couple loud squeals, but it was nothing unbearable, and the mother tried to quiet him immediately, so that was good. However, the child across the dining room was still screaming long and loud at least once every couple of minutes, and I could see my mom getting rattled, so I decided to lighten the mood by telling my funny "TRAIN!" story from work.
It goes like this: We have a train table set up in the kid's section in our store. You can always tell when a kid is being pulled away from the kid's section by force from the screams of "TRAIN!!!!! Nooo!! NOOOO!! TRAIN!!!" echoing throughout the store at least once every hour. This is normally followed by the parent of said child dragging (often literally) the child out of the store, cooing promises of ice cream and cookies and McDonalds if the child (who isn't listening) behaves (which, of course, never, ever works).
Now, I wasn't telling this story loudly, nor directed toward anyone besides my parents. And yet, out of the corner of my eye, I notice the girl sitting at the table nearby (the one with the child who had squealed earlier) looking at me, then lean over and say something to the two older women with her. Not one to be caught staring, I quickly looked away, only to notice all three turn to look directly at me. Immediately, the oldest among them (who turns out to be the child's mother I had mentally thanked earlier for the quick shushing of her son) starts loudly piping off something along the lines of "...better shut her fucking mouth or I'll blah, blah, blah..." Realizing the girl must have been listening to what I'd been saying, had made the incorrect assumption that my story was somehow related to them, and then planted the bug in her mother's ear that I was talking poorly about her son, I quickly held up my hands apologetically and said, "Oh, no no. I wasn't talking about you guys! That kid over there reminded me of a story from work. Sorry!" and gestured to the other side of the room.
This heifer bobs her head at me (like high school girls posturing for a fight), and responds with "You'd better not be talkin about my son, cuz he's autistic!" To which the two equally heiferlike yeehaws sitting with her muttered their own not so polite responses.
My parents, instead of standing up for me like they did the last time something like this happened in the same damn restaurant (funny story: Some old lady got nasty with me when, after a surprise sneeze, I had to bend over, put my head BELOW the table line, you know, to be as polite as possible, and quietly blow my nose. Evidentially this was extremely rude in her view, more rude than it would have been to run through the restaraunt with snot running out of my nose. I'm so jealous of those who don't have to deal with the joy of allergies. Dad and I proceeded to give her hell by way of coughing and clearing our throats obnoxiously), decided to let the cows ruin our dinner and got all passive and quiet.
I quickly realized that I was on my own with this one, and made the decision not to further defend myself against these "women's" posturing and lack of willingness to listen. I didn't even see the point in trying to apologize further. Instead, I sat back and gave up on trying to salvage the situation altogether, responding to my parent's awkward attempts at conversation with one word answers, so as not to risk "offending" anyone else nearby.
Mind you, this was the same group of women whose sneering glares I willfully ignored when we first got in and sat down. I've found this happens a lot when I come across ignorant people who happen to be on the opposite end of the weight spectrum from me. I hear and have become used to mutterings of "anorexic" and "needs to eat more" all the time. Those who take the time to talk with me and learn that I'm actually quite cool to be around (and eat A LOT, tyvm) tend to quickly knock that shit off. Not this group though. They were quiet happy to judge me based on the first thing they observed.
And for being so sensitive about having an autistic child, she certainly didn't treat him with any extra care, smacking him and threatening him in angry growls, harsh whispers, and colorful language when he did something that annoyed her. I was too thoroughly immersed in my "I don't care and have no opinion" mindset by then to point that out, though. Besides, no one with me would have appreciated the irony anyway.
I was so incredibly surprised when my parents stood up for me that one time. Normally they just act embarrassed or pretend like nothing happened. It's that whole keep a low profile, blend in, and don't be confrontational thing that I have come to ABHOR from watching their example over the years. I don't understand why people don't stand up for themselves, especially when they've been misunderstood. I was trying to distract and entertain my parents in a stressful situation. I was trying to make them laugh. Instead I ended up looking like an asshole.
I really don't think I'm going to bother with dining out anymore. Between parents refusing to use babysitters anymore, insisting that an entire room full of strangers be the ones to make accommodations for them, and people who plain just won't accept that they're not the center of the universe, or who are unwilling to act like decent, compromising adults, it simply isn't worth the effort.
And my chicken wings were soggy! And they gave me a stomach ache!!
I feel better now that I've typed this out.
Stomach still hurts, though : /