I just got back in town from three days of intensive training on how to support Apple Computers without the use of a hammer. Steve Jobs has no sense of humor when it comes to performance art.
The experience was just like being in those Mac commercials, a non-stop emo geek masturbatory fantasy with the small difference that John Hodgeson was a hostile 350 lb asshole in combat boots, swinging an aluminum folding chair like a WWE headliner. I fear that was my best behavior. You see, there was every brand of Apple geek in attendence, brandishing their slim little iphones and expensive thrift store style and shaggy textured haircuts.
After three days I might concede to wanting one, but I fear if just one emo douchebag walked by and commented on how cool I was I’d probably fling the slim little powerhouse in an attempt to decapitate the pretentious fucker like OddJob in that James Bond movie. Noone ever thinks my Dell is badass.
The one thing I did learn over the last three days is if you eat here….
You will be getting exactly what they advertise.
Excuse me, I gotta make a run to the ‘library’.
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