(no subject)
Okay, I don't know what it is about birthdays, but I always get super excited about them and look forward to them for weeks, and then right before they actually happen I feel dread. When I am looking forward to them they are always imagined as these perfect, magical days, in which everything wrong in the world and in my life rights itself. But then always, directly before, I am brought back to reality and realize that in fact birthdays are just another day. Life keeps moving on as it did before and everything that is wrong stays wrong, it doesn't magically fix itself. So, on the eve of my 21st birthday I am sitting at home, cleaning, doing laundry, attempting to watch a movie and wondering who will call, who will remember and who will even care. It is in moments like these that I am glad that I don't live alone and I can look forward to somebody coming home. Okay, n/m, just talked to Elise and she made me excited again.