Dirty Talk...Clinically Speaking
I went out to the Cricket Cafe with my sister this morning and had quite the taboo conversation. Now I really don't think dirty talk is appropriate at the breakfast table, but we really aren't appropriate girls. I like to compare us to the Hilton sisters, but trashier. Which brings me to my question of the day... What kind of "dirty Talk" is acceptable, if any? Now we all have those sex horror stories that are more fun to tell drunk than sober, but they will always, nomatter state of mind, be considered a crowd pleaser. More often than not, your sexual horror stories revolve around "dirty talk" in its most detailed form of expression. I suppose the most common phrases are as follows: "Oh baby or oh-(insert name here)((That's a risky one though, be sure not to call out the wrong name, safer to stick with baby)), right there, oh oh oh, don't stop", and last but used most frequently by the masses, saying "fuck me" repeatedly. If you read those phrases the way I wrote them, you would be using the most monotone and robotic voice conceivable. I know you've heard those before... Don't you feel special? Sorry, boys, but most girls say those things to most of their sexual partners. All the important and most acceptable one's are on speed dial.
Maybe it's just me, but there's something about having my particular body parts referred to in a lewd manner that I just don't find sexy. A few words to the wise... It's a huge turn off, if, in the middle of humpin and pumpin, your not-so-significant other looks you in the eye and moans, "oh, girl, do you like it when I...." Now, why can't you just wait until we're finished for me to congradulate you on a performance well done? Save the self-gradifying monolague until you know there's a reason to gradify yourself. But I'm straying from the point a bit, let's get back on track, shall we? So Rachel and I decided it would be more interesting, if, instead of dirty talk, you used the most clinical termonology whilst you bone. It's simple, really, just do as I say (not as I do) and replace the following words with the words that follow the following: Instead of "fuck" use penetrate, "yes" use qui (yes in French)((Not exactly more clinical, but you would,inherently, be saying, "WEE-WEE", would be extremely funny, in its own right)), "wet pussy" use saturated labia, and "rock hard cock" use extaordinarily un-flacid penis or shaft. There you have it, folks. Now which do you consider to be more sexy? I, personally, would rather use and hear "clinical talk", but then again, I'm a leader, not a follower. I haven't yet had the splendid opportunity to use our new method of sexual arousal, but if you fine readers would do me the honor of trying out this highly erotic form of verbal sexual activity, I would be much obliged. All you have to do, is keep a record of how many times you get slapped as opposed to high-fived, give them to me, and I should be able to compute the results accordingly. Thank you for your cooperation and enthusiasm on our quirky and a bit unorthodox theories and methods. I hope all of you will paarticipate in our little experiment, so we can be sure to keep you updated on what's up and cuming in this crazy, sexed up world we live in. So, in conclusion, if you think you've hit the, preverbial, brick wall concerning your sex life and you want to kick it up a notch- take it from the Demy Sisters... this is your key to sexual success.
Get to it,
Savannah
Maybe it's just me, but there's something about having my particular body parts referred to in a lewd manner that I just don't find sexy. A few words to the wise... It's a huge turn off, if, in the middle of humpin and pumpin, your not-so-significant other looks you in the eye and moans, "oh, girl, do you like it when I...." Now, why can't you just wait until we're finished for me to congradulate you on a performance well done? Save the self-gradifying monolague until you know there's a reason to gradify yourself. But I'm straying from the point a bit, let's get back on track, shall we? So Rachel and I decided it would be more interesting, if, instead of dirty talk, you used the most clinical termonology whilst you bone. It's simple, really, just do as I say (not as I do) and replace the following words with the words that follow the following: Instead of "fuck" use penetrate, "yes" use qui (yes in French)((Not exactly more clinical, but you would,inherently, be saying, "WEE-WEE", would be extremely funny, in its own right)), "wet pussy" use saturated labia, and "rock hard cock" use extaordinarily un-flacid penis or shaft. There you have it, folks. Now which do you consider to be more sexy? I, personally, would rather use and hear "clinical talk", but then again, I'm a leader, not a follower. I haven't yet had the splendid opportunity to use our new method of sexual arousal, but if you fine readers would do me the honor of trying out this highly erotic form of verbal sexual activity, I would be much obliged. All you have to do, is keep a record of how many times you get slapped as opposed to high-fived, give them to me, and I should be able to compute the results accordingly. Thank you for your cooperation and enthusiasm on our quirky and a bit unorthodox theories and methods. I hope all of you will paarticipate in our little experiment, so we can be sure to keep you updated on what's up and cuming in this crazy, sexed up world we live in. So, in conclusion, if you think you've hit the, preverbial, brick wall concerning your sex life and you want to kick it up a notch- take it from the Demy Sisters... this is your key to sexual success.
Get to it,
Savannah