Too Young, So Cynical...
Why gamble? It's risky, fun, and daring. But when you bet your heart, bet wisely. Saturday night, date night. Not me. Instead, I decided to stay in watch good/bad tv, drink Ice Tea (large consumption, of), and decline a party invite. Why? Old me would have dressed in my sub-par with my well over-par shoes and hit the town. That's what a failed love does to you. It makes you give more love to your cat than he actually wants, while laying around in your fabulous DKNY underwear that no one will see because sometimes it's just not worth it. I have recently found myself dwelling. Dwelling on past, present, and future. About 2 weeks ago I made a large wager on a small date. He was great and we had a fabulous time together, but very soon after he called my rather large bluff. I was too young for him and my bluff grew old, quick. Though I am disappointed in the fact that my lie hurt not only present company and not only did I lose the date guy... I inherently lost my bestie. The Ex. And don't get me wrong, it's not that I miss the semi-loving past relationship we once shared, but the times as bestfriends I saw in our future. Ex didn't like Date Guy and apparently wanted to make that very well known on a fateful night in a crowded bar. But I decided that ultimatums are very out this season, so I brushed it aside. Despite fair warning from Ex, I continued to see Date Guy. Well shortly after he called my age bluff, that ended and so did my best friendship with Ex. So is it better to stay at 19 (or to hit on a mid-twenty something) and lose the last year invested in a relationship. Or is it safer to stay in on a Saturday night, take your heart off your sleeve, and fold (it) so it sits neatly on the shelf where it belongs. This game's too rich for my blood.
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