(no subject)
starting the new year feeling this bad, this lost, this hurt, is going to be hard. i went to as far as promising change in my life, who i hang with, what i do, and what i don't do, just to gaurantee a good year for me. i really do deserve it, i had the worst year of my life 2005, so 2006 should hold good things, but this whole shit going on right now doenst really make 2006 look promising. i shouldn't let my happiness depend on him, but i do, and that hurts even more. he hasn't even made a decsion yet, so why i'm flipping i dont know, i guess its because i always had suspicions that she would want him back and that he'd say yes, and now the first part came true.
he was supposed to call on his new years and mine, i doubt that's going to happen now, i really need it too though, badly. but last night he called and hung up before even saying a word. i woke up at like 9 and finaly got out of bed at 11 and read his message, something along the lines of he has alot to think about. i'm his effin girlfriend shouldn't he come to me to help him think, to help him through wahtever the hell is going on.
anyway, i cant believe that 2006 will most likely be brought in with a tear.
he was supposed to call on his new years and mine, i doubt that's going to happen now, i really need it too though, badly. but last night he called and hung up before even saying a word. i woke up at like 9 and finaly got out of bed at 11 and read his message, something along the lines of he has alot to think about. i'm his effin girlfriend shouldn't he come to me to help him think, to help him through wahtever the hell is going on.
anyway, i cant believe that 2006 will most likely be brought in with a tear.