(no subject)
I saw josh tonight for probably the last time in a long time.
It honestly breaks my heart and I know he doesnt realize that..even though before he left my house i cried in his arms when he hugged me. I cant believe hes leaving. in a fucking week too on top of that. I told him i care about him very much..
I have honestly never felt so alone in my life. Seeing Josh leave tonight made everything final. I know that we wont be back together.
Everything has changed and not for the better.
I need my life to begin. Everyone is moving..going to school..starting to get real jobs and i took 2 steps back. I thought i was miserable when i worked..because I didnt go to school or anything.. and now i dont work at all.
I want to feel loved by the people that are in my life. I want to know that if something happened to me people would be there , I want to know that we can all seriously be there for eachother . Before i was lonely because i didnt have a boyfriend in my life but right now i just want true friendships. ones that wont let boys get in the way... ones that will be true and wont fade.
it fucking sucks. i never thought id be so concerned about my friendships with people..or so disapointed.
but i am.
I was the same way and i am ashamed at the way i acted. because i see the way people are acting and i know i was the same way.
It honestly breaks my heart and I know he doesnt realize that..even though before he left my house i cried in his arms when he hugged me. I cant believe hes leaving. in a fucking week too on top of that. I told him i care about him very much..
I have honestly never felt so alone in my life. Seeing Josh leave tonight made everything final. I know that we wont be back together.
Everything has changed and not for the better.
I need my life to begin. Everyone is moving..going to school..starting to get real jobs and i took 2 steps back. I thought i was miserable when i worked..because I didnt go to school or anything.. and now i dont work at all.
I want to feel loved by the people that are in my life. I want to know that if something happened to me people would be there , I want to know that we can all seriously be there for eachother . Before i was lonely because i didnt have a boyfriend in my life but right now i just want true friendships. ones that wont let boys get in the way... ones that will be true and wont fade.
it fucking sucks. i never thought id be so concerned about my friendships with people..or so disapointed.
but i am.
I was the same way and i am ashamed at the way i acted. because i see the way people are acting and i know i was the same way.