LFM 3
Title: Lovers, Fools, and Madmen
Rating: PG-13 for a bit of language
Warnings: Gratuitous hoof-shots and innuendo galore.
Summary: AU; loosely based on A Midsummer Night's Dream. When Lord Touya seeks the Queen's counsel to forbid his sister to wed her childhood love, he isn't prepared for the interference wrought by two disgraced fairies to thwart his plans. Which is probably just as well; it’s not as if they have a clue in heaven or hell how to deal with these foolish mortals…
Ay me! For aught that I could ever read,
Could ever hear by tale of history,
The course of true love never did run smooth…
-A Midsummer Night's Dream, I;i
Kurogane had never suffered from allergies. Even the annual hay-fever which seemed to plague the rest of the fairy village had always given him a miss. So it was with no small bit of consternation that he now passed off the damnable white ball of fuzz (which had insisted upon riding his shoulder like a rodeo clown) to his air-headed companion in order to spare his watering eyes and stinging nostrils that suddenly seemed full beyond what their size should allow.
"Aww…Kuro-nub is allergic to love!"
He had also ordered the idiot to maintain a ten-pace following distance, but that part seemed to have bypassed Fay's consciousness entirely.
"I told you to stay - ACHOO - stay the hell away from me with that thing!" Kurogane glared and rubbed furiously at his nose.
"Mokona is hypo-allergenic!" she announced, wriggling desperately in Fay's grasp to get back to her previous perch.
"I said-"
"But Kuro-buck, it's getting dark and I don't want to get separated!"
"What; you can't find your way home now?"
"It's you I'm worried about," Fay replied, "All these allergies seem to have gone to your head! I wouldn't trust you to find the sugar plums on a succubus in this state!"
"The what on a what?"
"Oh sorry, not your bag?" Fay snickered, "The ice-pop on an incubus, then?"
"Oh, just shu-" Kurogane trailed off as an explosion of surprisingly colorful lights erupted over the tree tops. "What the hell was that?" he demanded as the spectacle faded away.
"Waa-aa-aa," Fay breathed, "Looks like someone's having a bit of fun."
Kurogane lifted an eyebrow. "Fairy magic?"
"Mmm…" Fay screwed up his face, "Though I didn't expect to see that spell again. Doesn't it seem familiar, Kuro-pan?"
Kurogane glared. "No. Magic was your thing. What spell was it?" Certainly not the one the moron had used to destroy half the forest (they didn't seem to be in imminent danger of bursting into flame, at any rate), but that didn't mean Kurogane didn't feel a sharp pang of anxiety over the gleam in Fay's eyes…
Fay only grinned. "I'm going to see what happened," he called over his shoulder as he headed away toward the source of the commotion, "You coming?"
"No!" Kurogane stamped at the ground, "And neither are you! Get back here!"
"I'll be back in a few minutes, Kuro-tan! I'll meet you at home if you'd like!"
"Mokona is coming too!"
Kurogane snarled, "What happened to sugar plums and ice-pops?"
"Don't go licking either without me!" was all the reply Kurogane received as Fay disappeared into the darkness.
It took a full five minutes and three gawking passers-by for Kurogane to realize that he was standing in the middle of public pathway, scowling at nothing in particular. He cast a death glare at the last of the travelers and shuffled toward home.
The tavern on the lower floor of their rooms was busy tonight, he noted with a hint of distain. If he had a choice, he would have liked nothing better than to collapse into his bed and sleep straight through till morning; however, the sheer amount of noise drifting up through the floor boards was all but guaranteed to quash any attempt at slumber. He eyed the back-stairs longingly, but opted to head through the tavern entrance in the end.
Inside was just as noisy as the lights and clatter from outside had suggested, and Kurogane waded through the sea of revelers with a huff and took a seat at the bar. As per usual, Umi had his drink poured and ready before he had ordered and winked as she slid it the short distance down the bar to land at his fingertips. She followed the glass a few moments later, a sly smile on her face.
"No boyfriend tonight?" she asked casually, leaning on her elbow and grinning from ear to ear.
"No what?" Kurogane's glass clattered against the counter, "Dammit, Umi - I'm not in the mood for your jokes tonight."
"Oh come now, Kurogane," she said, swiftly mopping up the small puddle of ale that had sloshed over the rim of Kurogane's abused cup, "The two of you and your constant love-squabbles have made a bigger splash in the local gossip than Hikaru and her husbands."
Kurogane wrinkled his nose at this and glanced suspiciously over at the trio in question. They were snuggled together in the far corner, staring into the fireplace, sharing out a steaming mug of something, and generally radiating a particularly obnoxious variety of cute. He snorted, "If that's the worst the gossip mill has to say about me, then it would seem I'm moving up in the world."
Umi winked. "Not that you pay attention," she teased, snatching his glass, "Same?"
"Uh, sure," he hadn't realized he had drained the glass already, "Actually, give me something stronger." With a little luck a nightcap would be just the thing to drown out the clamor and push him over the brink into sleep. With a little more luck, he could be asleep before Fay returned to keep him awake with inane babble for the rest of the night. "Three fingers of scotch should do nicely."
It was the frenzied braying of a mule, rather than any remnants of the rather spectacular pyrotechnic magic exhibition that drew Fay toward the clearing. He seemed bound for disappointment tonight; whomever it was that had cast the spell had long since vanished, the spooked beast was the only indication anyone had been there at all. He quickly untied the mule and sent it on its way; there seemed no evidence of its owner lurking anywhere nearby, either - only a centaur (who had apparently managed to sleep through the entirety of the blitz and now continued to snore loudly at the edge of the clearing), and the thought of one equine hybrid keeping another tethered captive seemed laughable at best.
Fay watched the mule run off and felt a sharp pang of disappointment. There were very few things he missed about his life as a fairy, but magic definitely topped that list. And that spell…
"Fay?" Mokona asked quietly.
Fay shook his head. "Let's head home, shall we?"
Oh well. It wasn't as if he couldn't ask one of the more experienced mages about it later - assuming he and Kurogane somehow succeeded in this little misadventure. It was all such a bother, really, but…well, he owed Kurogane. They had been little more than drinking buddies before they had been cursed and even now, after six years, Fay still knew shockingly little about Kurogane's past (to be fair, Kurogane also knew shockingly little about Fay's own - Kurogane had early on declared loudly and pointedly that he didn't give two flicks of a dragon's tail about who Fay had been or what he had done before they met, and Fay had taken this as all the provocation he required to remain mute on the issue). From what he had gathered, however (six years may have been a short spell as far as immortals were concerned, but it was certainly more than enough time to pick up and piece together snatches of information the other probably hadn't quite meant to give away), Kurogane had cared deeply about the human princess he had guarded and wished nothing more than to return to his post. And, well, Fay was all too familiar with the pain separation wrought. He could take care of this mess for Kurogane's sake and figure out his own issues later. Immortality did tend to afford one plenty of time for naval-gazing…
He headed back the way he had come, not terribly enthused at the prospect of retiring for the night. He wondered if Kurogane had already turned in, or if he'd be up for a round or two downstairs and maybe a game of rummy - it had been a good while since Fay had given the surly faun a decent thrashing and if all went well, the time to repeat that might be running short. He frowned. And sniffed; there was the faint but unmistakable smell of smoke on the air.
"Do you smell that?" he mumbled.
Mokona sniffed as well. "It's a fire," she said, "But who would start a fire in the forest?"
Fay stiffened. That was the question; who in their right mind would start a fire this deep into the woods? It was strictly forbidden (he was more than averagely aware of this), and furthermore, completely unnecessary - there was a plethora of magical items available to even the least magically inclined forest creatures that rendered an old-fashioned campfire completely redundant. He grumbled a bit to himself as he headed toward the smell, then paused and chuckled; apparently living with Kurogane was having more of an effect on him than he'd thought.
He found the source of the smoke not too far off the path he traveled and paused. Humans. Four of them, if his sense of smell was correct, though two of them were currently out of his line of sight. The two he could see were huddled around the smoldering remains of the campfire - a boy and girl, though it was difficult to tell in such low light, and humans were prone to funny choice in dress on the best of days. The girl was unmistakably the same one he had seen yesterday in the humans' court; he was less certain about the boy, but…
Ah. That was most certainly the older brother, asleep behind a nearby tree. Spying? Possibly, Fay conceded, though he was doing a piss poor job of it if that were the case, snoring and splayed out in every direction as he was. There was another man with him; surely this had to be the fiancé - Fay recognized the odd shade of silver-brown hair and was almost positive Queen Kendappa had ordered the young lord to wed a woman. Fay snickered - for a man so emphatically protecting his sister's chastity, he certainly didn't have any qualms about displaying his own affections in public. Perhaps not spying on his sister, then; maybe the lot of them had made a poorly planned break for freedom.
Whatever the case, it was no longer obvious to Fay whether he needed Mokona's abilities. If the lord was here with his original fiancé, well…that pretty much absolved himself and Kurogane of any need to interfere, didn't it? On the other hand, if he let this opportunity slip by, he wasn't sure when or how they were going to get another shot at it. A cunning strategist though Kurogane undoubtedly was, Fay had no idea how he planned to ensure the silver-haired fiancé would be the first person the lord saw upon waking; he had little to no idea of normal human sleeping arrangements but, if their garden fountains were any indication, he imagined there would be many humans sprawled out and entwined in each bed.
No, this definitely seemed like a golden opportunity, and he decided he would be a fool to waste it. Trodding carefully through the brush so as not to wake the sleeping party, he paused next to the sleeping lord and motioned for Mokona to jump down from his shoulder. She did as he instructed, but looked back questioningly.
"This is them," Fay whispered, pointing at the sleeping duo.
Mokona's eyes widened and sparkled. "I can kiss them?" she barely managed to whisper though her excitement.
"Just the dark-haired on-" Fay started, but fell silent as Mokona planted a wet smack on the silver-haired man's lips. "Okay, both of them…"
Mokona practically squealed with excitement as she moved on to the lord and repeated the gesture.
"Mokona!" Fay hissed as he watched, "Don't use so much tongue! You have no idea where these humans have been!"
Mokona sulked. "But Mokona never gets to kiss anybody! Yuuko made me promise after the incident with the guards! It's no fun at all!"
"The guards…?" Fay wondered, then tucked the question away for later, "I just don't want you to get sick. Her Majesty will- Hey! Where are you going?" He lurched forward to catch the ball of fluff as she bounded away into the darkness.
"I'm going to kiss them too!"
"Them?" Fay finally caught up as Mokona leapt onto the face of the younger sleeping man, lips puckered in anticipation. "No, Mokona, they really don't need it. They're already in love…"
"Then there's no harm!" Mokona squealed with delight before her lips closed with a loud thwack against the young man's.
Fay bit his lip, but then decided there really wasn't any harm in her kissing the kids as well. If anything, it was a little bit of added insurance for their endeavor. He smiled as Mokona bounded back up to his shoulder and scratched her ears affectionately. "Better now?"
"Yes!" Mokona exclaimed, "Mokona loves kisses!"
"That's good," Fay eyed the sleeping group, "What do we do now?"
"Nothing!" Mokona assured them, "They just have to wake up!"
"Should we wake them up now?"
Mokona considered this. "Well…" she said slowly, "We could, but it's more potent it you let it sit for awhile."
"What's more potent?"
Mokona grinned.
"Alright," Fay said after a long moment of debating whether he wanted a more detailed answer and deciding that no, he really did not, "Let's head back then. I don't suppose there's much danger of anyone disturbing them. Forest spirits usually stay well away from humans."
"Humans are scary!" Mokona agreed, "But good kissers…"
Fay chuckled quietly as he maneuvered through the brush and back to their home.
There was still a substantial amount of noise pouring out of the tavern when he arrived and, after a quick trip upstairs to check Kurogane had not gone to sleep already, Fay headed in to find his grumpy companion.
It took a few moments searching and the help of Umi to locate Kurogane - sleeping soundly, reclined against the far wall of the tavern. Fay stared for a moment, unsure whether to be amused or worried.
"Is he…drunk?" he asked at last.
"Him?" Umi laughed, "I highly doubt it. The way you two normally drain our barrels… No, I think he's just asleep. Seems kind of stressed, if you ask me."
As she spoke, Kurogane's eyes opened to fix on Fay. "I'm not asleep, I'm just resting my eyes. Where the hell have you two been?" he growled, "It's been almost an hour!"
"Aww, was Kuro-pan worried?" Fay teased as he pulled up the next seat and deposited Mokona on the bar. "We got a little sidetracked," he explained as Umi brought his drink.
"I'll say you did," Kurogane grunted, "Did you find out what that was?"
"No…" Fay toyed with his paper umbrella, "But we found something better. We were heading back here and I smelled a fire-"
"You better not have burned anything else, you-"
"Relax, Kuro-puu," Fay hushed him, "The fire was out by the time we got there. But we did happen upon a camping quartet of very familiar humans."
"Very familiar?"
"Very," Fay nodded seriously, "You know how they all sort of look the same without wings…well, these ones-"
"Cut the crap - it was that lord?"
"Ah, and his fiancé, his sister, and her intended."
"Together?" Kurogane spluttered, "There's no way!"
"I thought it was a bit odd myself," Fay admitted, "But in the end, it proved to be too good of a coincidence to pass by, so…"
"Mokona kissed them!" she announced.
"Oh thank god," Kurogane breathed, "I was afraid you were going to say you did something stupid."
"No, no," Fay waved this away, "They all got a good dose of…Mokona, so once they wake up tomorrow morning-"
"In the morning?" Kurogane coughed, "You mean you didn't wake them up right then?"
Fay looked taken aback. "Well…no. Apparently it gets more potent if it sits for awhile and, well, it's not like anything is likely to bother humans in this forest and they were so wrapped up in each other that it seemed silly."
"What gets more potent?" Kurogane demanded.
Mokona grinned.
Kurogane sighed and buried his face in his palm. "I hope you two know what you're doing."
Fay laughed and swallowed the rest of his drink, "Oh come on now, Kuro-buck! When have I ever not known what I'm doing?"
"And in the morning - after they all wake up - you two will be back to normal!" Mokona chirped.
Kurogane did not dignify this with a response.
Watanuki kicked petulantly at the tall blades of grass he wandered through, his eyes narrowed toward the sky where Yuuko fluttered cheerfully above him. "Couldn't we have picked an easier path? This stuff is a nightmare to wade through!"
"Nonsense, Watanuki!" Yuuko exclaimed, "Humans need their daily exercise! Otherwise you all grow old before your time and shrivel away to nothing! And then the gout sets in and your legs go lame and then who is going to cook my meals? Really, you must learn to think beyond your own selfish needs."
Watanuki choked back several choice retorts regarding "selfish needs," but continued plodding through the field. Every morning was the same; at the first sign of daylight he would find himself shuffled out into the great wide yonder on one of Yuuko's grand wilderness adventures. She continued to uphold the pretense of "surveying her kingdom," but Watanuki had long ago begun to suspect that this was little more than an excuse for her to flaunt her wingspan (as if he weren't treated to that at every otheropportunity imaginable) while she searched for new and interesting things to make wine from. At the very least, that was what these morning "surveys" tended to devolve into and, while Watanuki had been forced to admit that the dandelion wine had been particularly good, the memory of the toadstool brew still hung fresh in his memory (which was more than slighly ironic, as it had been too foul to ever be considered "fresh" in the first place) and made the entire exercise that much more painful.
So consumed was he in his lamentations that he only registered the red haired fairy lounging in the grass seconds before he tripped over her.
"Ow…" she pouted as he rubbed her head. "What kind of idiot…Yuuko!" she exclaimed as she caught sight of the queen floating overhead, "Fancy meeting you here this morning."
Yuuko grinned as she set down in the grass. "I might say the same for yourself. All goes well, I take it?"
"Of course, of course," the red haired fairy brushed herself off and leaned over Watanuki, still sprawled out in the grass below her, "Say, Yuuko - this is a fine specimen you've got here," she tugged at his hair, "Just like you to keep the finest pets!"
"I am not a pet!" Watanuki squeaked as the fairy continued her inspection, pulling at his eyelids and peeking in his ears, "Dammit - STOP THAT!"
"Not a pet?"
"No," Yuuko smiled fondly, "I found poor Watanuki wandering the woods a few years back; all of his memories lost to the ages. He did look like a poor lost puppy, but alas, I took him in to care for as a charity case, not as a pet."
"Could have fooled me," Watanuki mumbled.
"I can always change my mind," Yuuko reminded him sternly, "The byres are looking a little empty these days."
Watanuki glared, but kept his mouth shut.
"He's such a darling!" the fairy continued to gush, "He looks a lot like Clow, doesn't he?"
"Mmm," Yuuko agreed, "He does, doesn't he."
"Is that why you're keeping him?" There was a teasing glint in her eye as she snuck closer to Yuuko to elbow the queen playfully.
Yuuko's eyes narrowed. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Aww…" the fairy's face fell, "You're no fun. But yes, I suppose I should be heading back to the palace before they realize I'm gone…"
"That you should," Yuuko paused as the fairy turned to take her leave, "And the other…?"
The fairy snorted, "Oh yes…" she gestured to the north briefly before doubling over with laughter, "Enjoy your walk, Yuuko darling!"
Yuuko smiled and waved as she once again took to the sky. "Come on, Watanuki. We still have a good amount of ground to cover this morning."
Doumeki woke with a pounding head and the distinct impression that his limbs had been dipped in lead and bolted to the ground. The pounding he could attribute to the strange woman poking a stick between his eyebrows , but the lead…oh. Well. That was going to require some explanation…
"Well good morning," the strange woman said, pressing the stick more firmly against his forehead,
"We were afraid you were dead. This is a very strange position you've gotten yourself into here."
"Huh?" Doumeki rubbed his face and tried to sit up. He got about halfway before his torso locked and he was forced to throw an arm to the side to catch himself. He frowned; he had a sneaking suspicion that this difficulty might be due to the fact that his lower half had been inexplicably replaced by a horse. Or perhaps a horse's upper half had been replaced by him. Either way, he was now sporting four hoofed legs and a backside the size of a small shrine, complete with a wispy tail that seemed to twitch in time with his struggling.
…All of which didn't really bother him so much, but with all four legs splayed out to one side, he was at a complete loss as to how to stand back up.
"Centaurs usually sleep with their legs tucked beneath them, I believe," the woman continued with more than a faint hint of amusement coloring her voice. She turned toward the young man travelling with her, clearly exposing a set of wings that hadn't been evident just a moment earlier. Strange and unnatural things seemed to abound this morning…
Doumeki shrugged. "I don't recall looking like this when I fell asleep…" He wiggled his butt and flexed his legs - all to no avail.
"Your name?"
"Shizuka Doumeki," the centaur answered, still trying to right himself.
"Watanuki - give Doumeki a hand."
"What? How am I supposed to do that? He's like six times bigger than me, anyway. And don't you think this is kind of suspicious? He says he wasn't a centaur when he fell asleep - what kind of cracked story is that? And on top of that, he's way too calm, Yuuko!"
Yuuko smirked, "Watanuki…I do believe there is the little matter of our contract…"
"Alright, alright!" Watanuki grumbled, "How am I supposed to get him up anyway? He's ginormous!" He looped his arms beneath the centaur's midsection and lifted; his feet dugs tracks into the dewed ground as they peddled fruitlessly for leverage that was never quite granted.
Yuuko disguised her chuckles behind a carefully placed hand. "From the other side," she suggested,
"Pull his front legs forward first." She watched with a smirk as Watanuki dragged Doumeki's legs forward. "Now, Doumeki - lean forward; Watanuki - push," she winced as her charged pushed just a bit too enthusiastically, "Doumeki, shift you weight to your back legs and extend…there!" Yuuko clasped her hands together as Doumeki wobbled a bit, then took his fist steps on four legs.
Watanuki eyed the newly-righted centaur suspiciously. The beast was far too quiet for his liking and it still hadn't made much in the way of fuss about "suddenly" finding itself as a centaur. His frown deepend as a loud gurgle rumbled from its belly.
Doumeki looked around the clearing in search of his food pack and mule. Neither were anywhere to be found, but the rope he had used to tether the mule the previous night hung limply from the tree it was bound to. He pursed his lips, considering. He didn't suppose it would do much good for him to return home or to continue on to the palace in this condition. In fact, he was at a complete loss for how to proceed. Despite his considerable spiritual training, he had never run across any proven method to "pray the fey away;" fey spirits and spells were remarkably resilient to all known techniques, even amongst the most experienced practitioners. Still, he was standing in the presence of a woman with a particularly impressive wingspan…
"What brings you to this part of the forest, Doumeki?" Yuuko inquired amiably.
Doumeki regarded her carefully. "I was summoned to the capital to officiate Queen Kendappa's wedding ceremony. My map of the forest seems to be incorrect, though, and I settled down here for the night."
"Ahhh," Yuuko replied knowingly, "A human, then. And what bit of misfortune caused you to take on such an…equine appearance?"
"I don't know," Doumeki answered truthfully, "I fell asleep last night as a human and woke up in this form."
Yuuko's lips curved ever-so-slightly. "How awful for you." She paused for a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. "Very well. Shizuka Doumeki, I invite you to my home for the time being. We will consult my magicians and apothecaries for a means to return you to a human so that you might fulfill your obligations to your Queen."
Doumeki considered this for a moment. It wasn't as if he was able to right his appearance on his own, and lord only knew how long he might wander these woods before happening upon another person. And this woman really did have quite an impressive wingspan. He bowed in polite acceptance, even as Watanuki sputtered, "Yuuko! You can't be serious! You just met this guy - you don't know anything about him! He could be an escaped convict feeding you a story for all we know! I mean, look! He's got creepy sanpakku eyes and everything!"
"Watanuki," Yuuko said sternly, "If not for my kindness, you would still be wandering these woods, thoughtless and alone. You would not extend the same hospitality to this poor traveler?"
"This is different!" Watanuki insisted, arms flailing in multiple directions, "There's something wrong with this guy!"
"What's wrong with him?" Yuuko worked her face into a pout, "He's adorable! Now, let's make our way home, shall we? I want breakfast - pancakes with jam and the apple wine you put up last month!"
"You already had breakfast!" Watanuki shouted, "And it's too early for alcohol!"
"Fine then!" Yuuko cut him off, though she allowed the impetuous flailing to continue, "Brunch! And we'll have the dandelion wine instead, and dried figs instead of jam."
"The dandelion wine is even stronger than the apple! You just want company to get drunk with!"
Doumeki plugged his ears with his fingers as the trio set forth into the forest. He didn't anticipate the hike back to this strange woman's home to become any quieter.
Yukito woke with a sputtering cough as something heavy landed on his abdomen. He bolted upright as the weight removed itself, just in time to see the most heavenly creature he had ever encountered dashing off away from their group and into the forest proper. Her radiant red (or was it brown? It seemed to change as the slender rays of sunlight breaking through the canopy accented different portions) hair fluttered in the breeze behind her and framed her face like a masterpiece as she turned toward him. Her face was familiar, and Yukito felt a sharp pang of guilt for Lord Touya's earlier mistreatment of this most immaculate of beings now found dashing through the woods, likely further wounded by the unholy sight of he and Lord Touya tangled together in brush. How could Lord Touya have denied this divinely beautiful woman? He must be mad! Well - he would certainly not be so careless with her heart!
Yukito was on his feet seconds later and brushed the last twiggy remnants of the forest floor away from his clothes before setting off in pursuit.
"Lady Akizuki! Please - wait!"
Perhaps it was the last vestiges of sleep still impairing his motor control, or perhaps the meager sunlight making its way to the forest floor happened to catch his eyes at just the right angle; perhaps it was his blind devotion to Lady Akizuki that narrowed his peripheral vision to a mere tunnel, or perhaps it was some dastardly combination of the above that left Yukito sprawled, flat on his face, moments later between two very startled young nobles.
Sakura woke with a start as a flailing hand smacked against her head. She winced and screwed her face up into a scowl as she opened her eyes a slit, fully prepared to find Syaoran flopping about in his sleep next to her.
She felt the blood rush into her cheeks as she stared at her brother's most trusted advisor, who was apologizing profusely as he clambered back to his feet and took off at a run into the forest. She fought to catch her breath - had Yukito always been so…so…hanyan? She could barely contain the excited flutter in her chest as she stood and started after him, leaving Syaoran to stare helplessly at her from the ground.
How could she have wasted so much time on a boy when this gloriously magnificent specimen of man had been so near to her all along?
Syaoran had long held that a well-placed kick to the nether-regions was an effective, if unpleasant way to wake a sleeping person. He could attest, at this very moment, that both clauses were true, though he was more focused on the "unpleasant" aspect as he wrenched his eyes open to determine just who was kneeling on his groin.
He found himself face to face with the most sublimely shaped posterior he had ever encountered. The rounded globes danced before his eyes in an entrancing rhythm as their owner quickly righted himself. Syaoran opened his mouth to beg the owner to stay - even if just for a moment - but found he was stunned into silence. Yukito? How had he not realized…? All these years he had devoted himself to Sakura… Well, if Yukito wanted to wake him with a shock to the groin, he was more than welcome to do so any time he pleased…
Syaoran reached out to express with his hands what he could not with words but missed the cuff of Yukito's pants by only the scantest of measures. He sank back into himself, dejected.
He looked over at Sakura and felt his stomach drop. She was already on her feet, making her way after Yukito. Neither of them were very far; he would be able to overtake them with ease.
He would not fail in his quest to woo the divine cheeks of dorsal delectability.
Chapter 4
Touya was pissed. He had been in the middle of the most pleasant dream - which had stared, in no particular order, a pitchfork, an angry wombat, and the Li brat - when the startled shout of his sister woke him. He debated the merits of several different methods of torture and execution and the best manner of implementation before opening his eyes. If that brat had laid a hand on his sister…
His anger soon faded away, however, as the most beautiful vision he had ever witnessed fell into focus. Touya sobbed, his heart unable to reconcile his earlier murderous intentions with the unbearable swelling of love currently flooding its chambers. He felt he would never be the same again...
Rating: PG-13 for a bit of language
Warnings: Gratuitous hoof-shots and innuendo galore.
Summary: AU; loosely based on A Midsummer Night's Dream. When Lord Touya seeks the Queen's counsel to forbid his sister to wed her childhood love, he isn't prepared for the interference wrought by two disgraced fairies to thwart his plans. Which is probably just as well; it’s not as if they have a clue in heaven or hell how to deal with these foolish mortals…
Ay me! For aught that I could ever read,
Could ever hear by tale of history,
The course of true love never did run smooth…
-A Midsummer Night's Dream, I;i
Kurogane had never suffered from allergies. Even the annual hay-fever which seemed to plague the rest of the fairy village had always given him a miss. So it was with no small bit of consternation that he now passed off the damnable white ball of fuzz (which had insisted upon riding his shoulder like a rodeo clown) to his air-headed companion in order to spare his watering eyes and stinging nostrils that suddenly seemed full beyond what their size should allow.
"Aww…Kuro-nub is allergic to love!"
He had also ordered the idiot to maintain a ten-pace following distance, but that part seemed to have bypassed Fay's consciousness entirely.
"I told you to stay - ACHOO - stay the hell away from me with that thing!" Kurogane glared and rubbed furiously at his nose.
"Mokona is hypo-allergenic!" she announced, wriggling desperately in Fay's grasp to get back to her previous perch.
"I said-"
"But Kuro-buck, it's getting dark and I don't want to get separated!"
"What; you can't find your way home now?"
"It's you I'm worried about," Fay replied, "All these allergies seem to have gone to your head! I wouldn't trust you to find the sugar plums on a succubus in this state!"
"The what on a what?"
"Oh sorry, not your bag?" Fay snickered, "The ice-pop on an incubus, then?"
"Oh, just shu-" Kurogane trailed off as an explosion of surprisingly colorful lights erupted over the tree tops. "What the hell was that?" he demanded as the spectacle faded away.
"Waa-aa-aa," Fay breathed, "Looks like someone's having a bit of fun."
Kurogane lifted an eyebrow. "Fairy magic?"
"Mmm…" Fay screwed up his face, "Though I didn't expect to see that spell again. Doesn't it seem familiar, Kuro-pan?"
Kurogane glared. "No. Magic was your thing. What spell was it?" Certainly not the one the moron had used to destroy half the forest (they didn't seem to be in imminent danger of bursting into flame, at any rate), but that didn't mean Kurogane didn't feel a sharp pang of anxiety over the gleam in Fay's eyes…
Fay only grinned. "I'm going to see what happened," he called over his shoulder as he headed away toward the source of the commotion, "You coming?"
"No!" Kurogane stamped at the ground, "And neither are you! Get back here!"
"I'll be back in a few minutes, Kuro-tan! I'll meet you at home if you'd like!"
"Mokona is coming too!"
Kurogane snarled, "What happened to sugar plums and ice-pops?"
"Don't go licking either without me!" was all the reply Kurogane received as Fay disappeared into the darkness.
It took a full five minutes and three gawking passers-by for Kurogane to realize that he was standing in the middle of public pathway, scowling at nothing in particular. He cast a death glare at the last of the travelers and shuffled toward home.
The tavern on the lower floor of their rooms was busy tonight, he noted with a hint of distain. If he had a choice, he would have liked nothing better than to collapse into his bed and sleep straight through till morning; however, the sheer amount of noise drifting up through the floor boards was all but guaranteed to quash any attempt at slumber. He eyed the back-stairs longingly, but opted to head through the tavern entrance in the end.
Inside was just as noisy as the lights and clatter from outside had suggested, and Kurogane waded through the sea of revelers with a huff and took a seat at the bar. As per usual, Umi had his drink poured and ready before he had ordered and winked as she slid it the short distance down the bar to land at his fingertips. She followed the glass a few moments later, a sly smile on her face.
"No boyfriend tonight?" she asked casually, leaning on her elbow and grinning from ear to ear.
"No what?" Kurogane's glass clattered against the counter, "Dammit, Umi - I'm not in the mood for your jokes tonight."
"Oh come now, Kurogane," she said, swiftly mopping up the small puddle of ale that had sloshed over the rim of Kurogane's abused cup, "The two of you and your constant love-squabbles have made a bigger splash in the local gossip than Hikaru and her husbands."
Kurogane wrinkled his nose at this and glanced suspiciously over at the trio in question. They were snuggled together in the far corner, staring into the fireplace, sharing out a steaming mug of something, and generally radiating a particularly obnoxious variety of cute. He snorted, "If that's the worst the gossip mill has to say about me, then it would seem I'm moving up in the world."
Umi winked. "Not that you pay attention," she teased, snatching his glass, "Same?"
"Uh, sure," he hadn't realized he had drained the glass already, "Actually, give me something stronger." With a little luck a nightcap would be just the thing to drown out the clamor and push him over the brink into sleep. With a little more luck, he could be asleep before Fay returned to keep him awake with inane babble for the rest of the night. "Three fingers of scotch should do nicely."
It was the frenzied braying of a mule, rather than any remnants of the rather spectacular pyrotechnic magic exhibition that drew Fay toward the clearing. He seemed bound for disappointment tonight; whomever it was that had cast the spell had long since vanished, the spooked beast was the only indication anyone had been there at all. He quickly untied the mule and sent it on its way; there seemed no evidence of its owner lurking anywhere nearby, either - only a centaur (who had apparently managed to sleep through the entirety of the blitz and now continued to snore loudly at the edge of the clearing), and the thought of one equine hybrid keeping another tethered captive seemed laughable at best.
Fay watched the mule run off and felt a sharp pang of disappointment. There were very few things he missed about his life as a fairy, but magic definitely topped that list. And that spell…
"Fay?" Mokona asked quietly.
Fay shook his head. "Let's head home, shall we?"
Oh well. It wasn't as if he couldn't ask one of the more experienced mages about it later - assuming he and Kurogane somehow succeeded in this little misadventure. It was all such a bother, really, but…well, he owed Kurogane. They had been little more than drinking buddies before they had been cursed and even now, after six years, Fay still knew shockingly little about Kurogane's past (to be fair, Kurogane also knew shockingly little about Fay's own - Kurogane had early on declared loudly and pointedly that he didn't give two flicks of a dragon's tail about who Fay had been or what he had done before they met, and Fay had taken this as all the provocation he required to remain mute on the issue). From what he had gathered, however (six years may have been a short spell as far as immortals were concerned, but it was certainly more than enough time to pick up and piece together snatches of information the other probably hadn't quite meant to give away), Kurogane had cared deeply about the human princess he had guarded and wished nothing more than to return to his post. And, well, Fay was all too familiar with the pain separation wrought. He could take care of this mess for Kurogane's sake and figure out his own issues later. Immortality did tend to afford one plenty of time for naval-gazing…
He headed back the way he had come, not terribly enthused at the prospect of retiring for the night. He wondered if Kurogane had already turned in, or if he'd be up for a round or two downstairs and maybe a game of rummy - it had been a good while since Fay had given the surly faun a decent thrashing and if all went well, the time to repeat that might be running short. He frowned. And sniffed; there was the faint but unmistakable smell of smoke on the air.
"Do you smell that?" he mumbled.
Mokona sniffed as well. "It's a fire," she said, "But who would start a fire in the forest?"
Fay stiffened. That was the question; who in their right mind would start a fire this deep into the woods? It was strictly forbidden (he was more than averagely aware of this), and furthermore, completely unnecessary - there was a plethora of magical items available to even the least magically inclined forest creatures that rendered an old-fashioned campfire completely redundant. He grumbled a bit to himself as he headed toward the smell, then paused and chuckled; apparently living with Kurogane was having more of an effect on him than he'd thought.
He found the source of the smoke not too far off the path he traveled and paused. Humans. Four of them, if his sense of smell was correct, though two of them were currently out of his line of sight. The two he could see were huddled around the smoldering remains of the campfire - a boy and girl, though it was difficult to tell in such low light, and humans were prone to funny choice in dress on the best of days. The girl was unmistakably the same one he had seen yesterday in the humans' court; he was less certain about the boy, but…
Ah. That was most certainly the older brother, asleep behind a nearby tree. Spying? Possibly, Fay conceded, though he was doing a piss poor job of it if that were the case, snoring and splayed out in every direction as he was. There was another man with him; surely this had to be the fiancé - Fay recognized the odd shade of silver-brown hair and was almost positive Queen Kendappa had ordered the young lord to wed a woman. Fay snickered - for a man so emphatically protecting his sister's chastity, he certainly didn't have any qualms about displaying his own affections in public. Perhaps not spying on his sister, then; maybe the lot of them had made a poorly planned break for freedom.
Whatever the case, it was no longer obvious to Fay whether he needed Mokona's abilities. If the lord was here with his original fiancé, well…that pretty much absolved himself and Kurogane of any need to interfere, didn't it? On the other hand, if he let this opportunity slip by, he wasn't sure when or how they were going to get another shot at it. A cunning strategist though Kurogane undoubtedly was, Fay had no idea how he planned to ensure the silver-haired fiancé would be the first person the lord saw upon waking; he had little to no idea of normal human sleeping arrangements but, if their garden fountains were any indication, he imagined there would be many humans sprawled out and entwined in each bed.
No, this definitely seemed like a golden opportunity, and he decided he would be a fool to waste it. Trodding carefully through the brush so as not to wake the sleeping party, he paused next to the sleeping lord and motioned for Mokona to jump down from his shoulder. She did as he instructed, but looked back questioningly.
"This is them," Fay whispered, pointing at the sleeping duo.
Mokona's eyes widened and sparkled. "I can kiss them?" she barely managed to whisper though her excitement.
"Just the dark-haired on-" Fay started, but fell silent as Mokona planted a wet smack on the silver-haired man's lips. "Okay, both of them…"
Mokona practically squealed with excitement as she moved on to the lord and repeated the gesture.
"Mokona!" Fay hissed as he watched, "Don't use so much tongue! You have no idea where these humans have been!"
Mokona sulked. "But Mokona never gets to kiss anybody! Yuuko made me promise after the incident with the guards! It's no fun at all!"
"The guards…?" Fay wondered, then tucked the question away for later, "I just don't want you to get sick. Her Majesty will- Hey! Where are you going?" He lurched forward to catch the ball of fluff as she bounded away into the darkness.
"I'm going to kiss them too!"
"Them?" Fay finally caught up as Mokona leapt onto the face of the younger sleeping man, lips puckered in anticipation. "No, Mokona, they really don't need it. They're already in love…"
"Then there's no harm!" Mokona squealed with delight before her lips closed with a loud thwack against the young man's.
Fay bit his lip, but then decided there really wasn't any harm in her kissing the kids as well. If anything, it was a little bit of added insurance for their endeavor. He smiled as Mokona bounded back up to his shoulder and scratched her ears affectionately. "Better now?"
"Yes!" Mokona exclaimed, "Mokona loves kisses!"
"That's good," Fay eyed the sleeping group, "What do we do now?"
"Nothing!" Mokona assured them, "They just have to wake up!"
"Should we wake them up now?"
Mokona considered this. "Well…" she said slowly, "We could, but it's more potent it you let it sit for awhile."
"What's more potent?"
Mokona grinned.
"Alright," Fay said after a long moment of debating whether he wanted a more detailed answer and deciding that no, he really did not, "Let's head back then. I don't suppose there's much danger of anyone disturbing them. Forest spirits usually stay well away from humans."
"Humans are scary!" Mokona agreed, "But good kissers…"
Fay chuckled quietly as he maneuvered through the brush and back to their home.
There was still a substantial amount of noise pouring out of the tavern when he arrived and, after a quick trip upstairs to check Kurogane had not gone to sleep already, Fay headed in to find his grumpy companion.
It took a few moments searching and the help of Umi to locate Kurogane - sleeping soundly, reclined against the far wall of the tavern. Fay stared for a moment, unsure whether to be amused or worried.
"Is he…drunk?" he asked at last.
"Him?" Umi laughed, "I highly doubt it. The way you two normally drain our barrels… No, I think he's just asleep. Seems kind of stressed, if you ask me."
As she spoke, Kurogane's eyes opened to fix on Fay. "I'm not asleep, I'm just resting my eyes. Where the hell have you two been?" he growled, "It's been almost an hour!"
"Aww, was Kuro-pan worried?" Fay teased as he pulled up the next seat and deposited Mokona on the bar. "We got a little sidetracked," he explained as Umi brought his drink.
"I'll say you did," Kurogane grunted, "Did you find out what that was?"
"No…" Fay toyed with his paper umbrella, "But we found something better. We were heading back here and I smelled a fire-"
"You better not have burned anything else, you-"
"Relax, Kuro-puu," Fay hushed him, "The fire was out by the time we got there. But we did happen upon a camping quartet of very familiar humans."
"Very familiar?"
"Very," Fay nodded seriously, "You know how they all sort of look the same without wings…well, these ones-"
"Cut the crap - it was that lord?"
"Ah, and his fiancé, his sister, and her intended."
"Together?" Kurogane spluttered, "There's no way!"
"I thought it was a bit odd myself," Fay admitted, "But in the end, it proved to be too good of a coincidence to pass by, so…"
"Mokona kissed them!" she announced.
"Oh thank god," Kurogane breathed, "I was afraid you were going to say you did something stupid."
"No, no," Fay waved this away, "They all got a good dose of…Mokona, so once they wake up tomorrow morning-"
"In the morning?" Kurogane coughed, "You mean you didn't wake them up right then?"
Fay looked taken aback. "Well…no. Apparently it gets more potent if it sits for awhile and, well, it's not like anything is likely to bother humans in this forest and they were so wrapped up in each other that it seemed silly."
"What gets more potent?" Kurogane demanded.
Mokona grinned.
Kurogane sighed and buried his face in his palm. "I hope you two know what you're doing."
Fay laughed and swallowed the rest of his drink, "Oh come on now, Kuro-buck! When have I ever not known what I'm doing?"
"And in the morning - after they all wake up - you two will be back to normal!" Mokona chirped.
Kurogane did not dignify this with a response.
Watanuki kicked petulantly at the tall blades of grass he wandered through, his eyes narrowed toward the sky where Yuuko fluttered cheerfully above him. "Couldn't we have picked an easier path? This stuff is a nightmare to wade through!"
"Nonsense, Watanuki!" Yuuko exclaimed, "Humans need their daily exercise! Otherwise you all grow old before your time and shrivel away to nothing! And then the gout sets in and your legs go lame and then who is going to cook my meals? Really, you must learn to think beyond your own selfish needs."
Watanuki choked back several choice retorts regarding "selfish needs," but continued plodding through the field. Every morning was the same; at the first sign of daylight he would find himself shuffled out into the great wide yonder on one of Yuuko's grand wilderness adventures. She continued to uphold the pretense of "surveying her kingdom," but Watanuki had long ago begun to suspect that this was little more than an excuse for her to flaunt her wingspan (as if he weren't treated to that at every otheropportunity imaginable) while she searched for new and interesting things to make wine from. At the very least, that was what these morning "surveys" tended to devolve into and, while Watanuki had been forced to admit that the dandelion wine had been particularly good, the memory of the toadstool brew still hung fresh in his memory (which was more than slighly ironic, as it had been too foul to ever be considered "fresh" in the first place) and made the entire exercise that much more painful.
So consumed was he in his lamentations that he only registered the red haired fairy lounging in the grass seconds before he tripped over her.
"Ow…" she pouted as he rubbed her head. "What kind of idiot…Yuuko!" she exclaimed as she caught sight of the queen floating overhead, "Fancy meeting you here this morning."
Yuuko grinned as she set down in the grass. "I might say the same for yourself. All goes well, I take it?"
"Of course, of course," the red haired fairy brushed herself off and leaned over Watanuki, still sprawled out in the grass below her, "Say, Yuuko - this is a fine specimen you've got here," she tugged at his hair, "Just like you to keep the finest pets!"
"I am not a pet!" Watanuki squeaked as the fairy continued her inspection, pulling at his eyelids and peeking in his ears, "Dammit - STOP THAT!"
"Not a pet?"
"No," Yuuko smiled fondly, "I found poor Watanuki wandering the woods a few years back; all of his memories lost to the ages. He did look like a poor lost puppy, but alas, I took him in to care for as a charity case, not as a pet."
"Could have fooled me," Watanuki mumbled.
"I can always change my mind," Yuuko reminded him sternly, "The byres are looking a little empty these days."
Watanuki glared, but kept his mouth shut.
"He's such a darling!" the fairy continued to gush, "He looks a lot like Clow, doesn't he?"
"Mmm," Yuuko agreed, "He does, doesn't he."
"Is that why you're keeping him?" There was a teasing glint in her eye as she snuck closer to Yuuko to elbow the queen playfully.
Yuuko's eyes narrowed. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Aww…" the fairy's face fell, "You're no fun. But yes, I suppose I should be heading back to the palace before they realize I'm gone…"
"That you should," Yuuko paused as the fairy turned to take her leave, "And the other…?"
The fairy snorted, "Oh yes…" she gestured to the north briefly before doubling over with laughter, "Enjoy your walk, Yuuko darling!"
Yuuko smiled and waved as she once again took to the sky. "Come on, Watanuki. We still have a good amount of ground to cover this morning."
Doumeki woke with a pounding head and the distinct impression that his limbs had been dipped in lead and bolted to the ground. The pounding he could attribute to the strange woman poking a stick between his eyebrows , but the lead…oh. Well. That was going to require some explanation…
"Well good morning," the strange woman said, pressing the stick more firmly against his forehead,
"We were afraid you were dead. This is a very strange position you've gotten yourself into here."
"Huh?" Doumeki rubbed his face and tried to sit up. He got about halfway before his torso locked and he was forced to throw an arm to the side to catch himself. He frowned; he had a sneaking suspicion that this difficulty might be due to the fact that his lower half had been inexplicably replaced by a horse. Or perhaps a horse's upper half had been replaced by him. Either way, he was now sporting four hoofed legs and a backside the size of a small shrine, complete with a wispy tail that seemed to twitch in time with his struggling.
…All of which didn't really bother him so much, but with all four legs splayed out to one side, he was at a complete loss as to how to stand back up.
"Centaurs usually sleep with their legs tucked beneath them, I believe," the woman continued with more than a faint hint of amusement coloring her voice. She turned toward the young man travelling with her, clearly exposing a set of wings that hadn't been evident just a moment earlier. Strange and unnatural things seemed to abound this morning…
Doumeki shrugged. "I don't recall looking like this when I fell asleep…" He wiggled his butt and flexed his legs - all to no avail.
"Your name?"
"Shizuka Doumeki," the centaur answered, still trying to right himself.
"Watanuki - give Doumeki a hand."
"What? How am I supposed to do that? He's like six times bigger than me, anyway. And don't you think this is kind of suspicious? He says he wasn't a centaur when he fell asleep - what kind of cracked story is that? And on top of that, he's way too calm, Yuuko!"
Yuuko smirked, "Watanuki…I do believe there is the little matter of our contract…"
"Alright, alright!" Watanuki grumbled, "How am I supposed to get him up anyway? He's ginormous!" He looped his arms beneath the centaur's midsection and lifted; his feet dugs tracks into the dewed ground as they peddled fruitlessly for leverage that was never quite granted.
Yuuko disguised her chuckles behind a carefully placed hand. "From the other side," she suggested,
"Pull his front legs forward first." She watched with a smirk as Watanuki dragged Doumeki's legs forward. "Now, Doumeki - lean forward; Watanuki - push," she winced as her charged pushed just a bit too enthusiastically, "Doumeki, shift you weight to your back legs and extend…there!" Yuuko clasped her hands together as Doumeki wobbled a bit, then took his fist steps on four legs.
Watanuki eyed the newly-righted centaur suspiciously. The beast was far too quiet for his liking and it still hadn't made much in the way of fuss about "suddenly" finding itself as a centaur. His frown deepend as a loud gurgle rumbled from its belly.
Doumeki looked around the clearing in search of his food pack and mule. Neither were anywhere to be found, but the rope he had used to tether the mule the previous night hung limply from the tree it was bound to. He pursed his lips, considering. He didn't suppose it would do much good for him to return home or to continue on to the palace in this condition. In fact, he was at a complete loss for how to proceed. Despite his considerable spiritual training, he had never run across any proven method to "pray the fey away;" fey spirits and spells were remarkably resilient to all known techniques, even amongst the most experienced practitioners. Still, he was standing in the presence of a woman with a particularly impressive wingspan…
"What brings you to this part of the forest, Doumeki?" Yuuko inquired amiably.
Doumeki regarded her carefully. "I was summoned to the capital to officiate Queen Kendappa's wedding ceremony. My map of the forest seems to be incorrect, though, and I settled down here for the night."
"Ahhh," Yuuko replied knowingly, "A human, then. And what bit of misfortune caused you to take on such an…equine appearance?"
"I don't know," Doumeki answered truthfully, "I fell asleep last night as a human and woke up in this form."
Yuuko's lips curved ever-so-slightly. "How awful for you." She paused for a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. "Very well. Shizuka Doumeki, I invite you to my home for the time being. We will consult my magicians and apothecaries for a means to return you to a human so that you might fulfill your obligations to your Queen."
Doumeki considered this for a moment. It wasn't as if he was able to right his appearance on his own, and lord only knew how long he might wander these woods before happening upon another person. And this woman really did have quite an impressive wingspan. He bowed in polite acceptance, even as Watanuki sputtered, "Yuuko! You can't be serious! You just met this guy - you don't know anything about him! He could be an escaped convict feeding you a story for all we know! I mean, look! He's got creepy sanpakku eyes and everything!"
"Watanuki," Yuuko said sternly, "If not for my kindness, you would still be wandering these woods, thoughtless and alone. You would not extend the same hospitality to this poor traveler?"
"This is different!" Watanuki insisted, arms flailing in multiple directions, "There's something wrong with this guy!"
"What's wrong with him?" Yuuko worked her face into a pout, "He's adorable! Now, let's make our way home, shall we? I want breakfast - pancakes with jam and the apple wine you put up last month!"
"You already had breakfast!" Watanuki shouted, "And it's too early for alcohol!"
"Fine then!" Yuuko cut him off, though she allowed the impetuous flailing to continue, "Brunch! And we'll have the dandelion wine instead, and dried figs instead of jam."
"The dandelion wine is even stronger than the apple! You just want company to get drunk with!"
Doumeki plugged his ears with his fingers as the trio set forth into the forest. He didn't anticipate the hike back to this strange woman's home to become any quieter.
Yukito woke with a sputtering cough as something heavy landed on his abdomen. He bolted upright as the weight removed itself, just in time to see the most heavenly creature he had ever encountered dashing off away from their group and into the forest proper. Her radiant red (or was it brown? It seemed to change as the slender rays of sunlight breaking through the canopy accented different portions) hair fluttered in the breeze behind her and framed her face like a masterpiece as she turned toward him. Her face was familiar, and Yukito felt a sharp pang of guilt for Lord Touya's earlier mistreatment of this most immaculate of beings now found dashing through the woods, likely further wounded by the unholy sight of he and Lord Touya tangled together in brush. How could Lord Touya have denied this divinely beautiful woman? He must be mad! Well - he would certainly not be so careless with her heart!
Yukito was on his feet seconds later and brushed the last twiggy remnants of the forest floor away from his clothes before setting off in pursuit.
"Lady Akizuki! Please - wait!"
Perhaps it was the last vestiges of sleep still impairing his motor control, or perhaps the meager sunlight making its way to the forest floor happened to catch his eyes at just the right angle; perhaps it was his blind devotion to Lady Akizuki that narrowed his peripheral vision to a mere tunnel, or perhaps it was some dastardly combination of the above that left Yukito sprawled, flat on his face, moments later between two very startled young nobles.
Sakura woke with a start as a flailing hand smacked against her head. She winced and screwed her face up into a scowl as she opened her eyes a slit, fully prepared to find Syaoran flopping about in his sleep next to her.
She felt the blood rush into her cheeks as she stared at her brother's most trusted advisor, who was apologizing profusely as he clambered back to his feet and took off at a run into the forest. She fought to catch her breath - had Yukito always been so…so…hanyan? She could barely contain the excited flutter in her chest as she stood and started after him, leaving Syaoran to stare helplessly at her from the ground.
How could she have wasted so much time on a boy when this gloriously magnificent specimen of man had been so near to her all along?
Syaoran had long held that a well-placed kick to the nether-regions was an effective, if unpleasant way to wake a sleeping person. He could attest, at this very moment, that both clauses were true, though he was more focused on the "unpleasant" aspect as he wrenched his eyes open to determine just who was kneeling on his groin.
He found himself face to face with the most sublimely shaped posterior he had ever encountered. The rounded globes danced before his eyes in an entrancing rhythm as their owner quickly righted himself. Syaoran opened his mouth to beg the owner to stay - even if just for a moment - but found he was stunned into silence. Yukito? How had he not realized…? All these years he had devoted himself to Sakura… Well, if Yukito wanted to wake him with a shock to the groin, he was more than welcome to do so any time he pleased…
Syaoran reached out to express with his hands what he could not with words but missed the cuff of Yukito's pants by only the scantest of measures. He sank back into himself, dejected.
He looked over at Sakura and felt his stomach drop. She was already on her feet, making her way after Yukito. Neither of them were very far; he would be able to overtake them with ease.
He would not fail in his quest to woo the divine cheeks of dorsal delectability.
Chapter 4
Touya was pissed. He had been in the middle of the most pleasant dream - which had stared, in no particular order, a pitchfork, an angry wombat, and the Li brat - when the startled shout of his sister woke him. He debated the merits of several different methods of torture and execution and the best manner of implementation before opening his eyes. If that brat had laid a hand on his sister…
His anger soon faded away, however, as the most beautiful vision he had ever witnessed fell into focus. Touya sobbed, his heart unable to reconcile his earlier murderous intentions with the unbearable swelling of love currently flooding its chambers. He felt he would never be the same again...